To ask if you personally judge people who dress alternatively?

[getyourfreakon]

As per the thread title.
Yes, Coronation Street has highlighted the issue. I'm what would be referred to as a "goth". I'm also a mother of one.
What are your feelings on the subject?

Yes of course. It's human nature to judge people by their appearance. How else can you make an instant "snap" decision on whether someone is likely to pose a threat? You use your senses, you see what they look like, what their expression is, how they are dressed and how they are behaving.

Judging someone by their appearance is not the same thing as writing them off because of how they look. It's more nuanced than that. Humans have survived precisely because our instant judgements of others have helped us identify threat and escape danger.

If I see someone walking down the street with what appears to be a suicide vest on them, shouting in what sounds like Arabic, I will make an instant judgement - either they are a terrorist or an idiot filming a YouTube stunt, and whichever is the case I'm best avoiding them. If I'm wrong and they are neither (though I can't imagine what other excuse they have) I'm still alive.

Not at all, I wouldn't say I was a goth but I dressed alternatively back in the day, and to a point now as well.

In my eyes, if someone wants to express themselves in how they dress, then I can't see that being a bad thing.

I was a goth in my younger days , tamed it down to rocker look. I don’t judge people how they look as long as they’re nice. I have lots of friends with alternative looks.

Judge or form an opinion though?

Unfortunately, I do form an opinion on people based on how they dress if I'm honest, until I know the person, then their personality and character takes over.
the women with fake tan/brows/boobs, hair extensions , all looking alike - I feel a bit sorry for them for being so under the influence of the " celeb" look.
the young men wearing all black hoodies, joggers, baseball caps- I think they dress like this to intimidate others.
Goths and alternative- I like looking at, as they are interesting to look at, as are the people who have lots of tattoos. I always smile as want them to know I'm looking at them in an interested way ( that sounds weird, but you know what i mean )
I think I dress smart/casual but pretty boring , but i feel confident/ comfortable in my clothes.
I think, no matter what we wear, it's about fitting in and feeling confident , giving a "mask" sometimes ?
You don't often see a group of friends who dress really different to each other do you?

I'd talk about satan's choreography (all the headbanging goths in sync)

I used to work at a music venue as a student. I loved metal bands, the first one I was apprehensive as often audiences were wild and I thought there’d be loads of trouble.

Instead we got a crowd of metalheads all stood gently nodding their heads in time to the music.

Indie crowds were just there to have fun and dance.

Worst were the “teen” bands. Very drunk teenage girls dressed in very little clothing. The first aiders had to pull tops back over boobs of semi unconscious girls many times.

To be honest dressing Goth isn’t really expressing individuality. It’s a uniform that is linked to a certain identify. Just like the Towie style is part of an identity and the Boden look screams SW london mummy.

People choose these uniforms for different reasons but they are uniforms non the less. They are worn to tell people who they are.

Very few people are individualistic. We all join tribes and dress accordingly. This means that we create others. That’s not a problem for most people who accept differences. But for some people it irritates, threatens and angers them that people are different from them. It’s not individuals who threaten these people, its groups.

Everyone judges everyone. You want to make a certain impression, or you wouldn't do it. Around my way, you get a lot of hippies who don't wear shoes and have dreads and baggy shat-yourself pants and noserings. If you're 17 and being alternative, great. But, I'm just past all that. It's just another uniform

I agree with this ^^ I think some people just want everyone to think that they are :

"edgy"
"different"
"quirky"

When in reality, we are all just humans trying to make our way in life. I've even heard people describe themselves as quirky, and I inwardly cringe and eye roll.

I don't think it would be the main thing i judge you on. I know plenty of alternative types who are excellent parents, passionate about climate change or are intellectual (not that you have to be alternative to be these things). But if I saw you dressed as a goth and drunk in the middle of the street then I would be wary of you. I don't think how you dress is the main factor. If you were behaving normally then I might not notice you more than anyone else. We had a huge goth scene here growing up. Quite a few goth nightclubs, pubs clothes shops and record stores so depending on your age I would think you were from that scene. We even had a teacher who was a goth. I guess you wouldn't make an impression any more than anyone else for my age group in the town I live

LemonTT I agree. “Historybounders” however are entirely different!

I just think it’s a bit boring. It looks like you’re going out of your way to be different, but actually you just look the same as every one else who dresses “differently”.

I judge people who dress scruffily, but not really alternatively.

Actually, I would probably assume that someone dressed as a Goth was unemployed or didn't have a very good job. I mean, you just never see someone in a high level job or Executive role dressed like this, do you? Ergo, I'd assume they didn't have much money.

Depends on your definition of "alternative".

Individual is great, jumping on another bandwagon to make some statement sounds rather desperate and a bit sad.

And there's a context. People you cross in a street in London, you barely notice. People at the school gate: you do.

You mean like the comments on here regarding Billie Eilish ?

It'd depend, the clothes, no biggie, would hardly notice.

But if you do your make up goth too, I'd be curious. Not judgmental, but I'd wonder what you got out of it. How it mad you feel! Hidden or more noticeable or like 'labelled' ? is the label a distraction from something else?

So I would not be judgmental per se but I'd have questions.

I once asked a man why he had a stud in the back of his neck and he was completely unable to answer. It was strange in my opinion! to do that without knowing why he had done it.

@Bluedeblue

Actually, I would probably assume that someone dressed as a Goth was unemployed or didn't have a very good job. I mean, you just never see someone in a high level job or Executive role dressed like this, do you? Ergo, I'd assume they didn't have much money.

Dreadful comment.

No because I was brought up around artists.

And I judge people by their actions and character not their appearance.

I used to have to regularly push a pram up some London station steps every day and nine times out of ten, it was always the goths, the punks, the more alternatively dressed, who would stop and help. It was usually the men in smart suits who rushed past.

What is it that goth is expressing?

No, I don’t judge. I like people to have different styles and they often have the most interesting stories.

Most recently I found out I was being judged by a small element of school runs mums. Why? Because they reckon I “only have one pair of shoes”. WTF? I live 6 houses down from the school and WFH. I don’t wear shoes in the house, so when I go on the school run, I slip on a pair of shoes to walk that short distance and back. Yes the same ones, because it isn’t a fashion parade and these are quick and easy to use. Arseholes.

@Bluedeblue

Actually, I would probably assume that someone dressed as a Goth was unemployed or didn't have a very good job. I mean, you just never see someone in a high level job or Executive role dressed like this, do you? Ergo, I'd assume they didn't have much money.

Unemployed? Do you know how expensive goth fashion is?!

I would probably assume that someone dressed as a Goth was unemployed or didn't have a very good job. I mean, you just never see someone in a high level job or Executive role dressed like this, do you?

true 🤷

Bluedeblue you’d absolutely hate me then. Have a very good job, car and flat and quite often sit in high level meetings dressed in black and wearing my DMs. Fortunately my colleagues judge me on my ability not my outfit.
Oh and I’m the only one of my group of friends who dresses like this. The others are all jeans, tops and converse wearers. We all bring very different qualities to the group and it works well.

Depends. I certainly judged the young man wearing a t-shirt saying ' 'This is my Ho' with an arrow pointing to the young woman walking next to him.

Most recently I found out I was being judged by a small element of school runs mums. Why? Because they reckon I “only have one pair of shoes”. WTF? I live 6 houses down from the school and WFH. I don’t wear shoes in the house, so when I go on the school run, I slip on a pair of shoes to walk that short distance and back. Yes the same ones, because it isn’t a fashion parade and these are quick and easy to use. Arseholes.

that's just weird.

Thanks to the lockdown, I worked from home and lived in my Uggs all winter. I am pretty sure no one even notice, let alone care.

With the whole "you don't see execs who are goth" thing, I'd imagine goths in those roles dress differently at work. Like pretty much everyone else.

@Wearywithteens

I wouldn’t judge them - I try and befriend them as all the adult ‘goths’ I’ve met have difficult backstories and have big insecurities. They need tlc.

so no judgement there then 🤔