To ask if you personally judge people who dress alternatively?

[getyourfreakon]

As per the thread title.
Yes, Coronation Street has highlighted the issue. I'm what would be referred to as a "goth". I'm also a mother of one.
What are your feelings on the subject?

[stressbandit]

No but I did see a child around 10 dressed in fishnet stockings under a pair of shorts and a spiky dog collar the other day and I did think oh god as he walked past.
Which is terrible of me, but I think it's more because I know when I was that age I wouldn't of had the balls to dress like that if I wanted too, as I would of been bullied badly.

[userxx]

I love seeing people who have their own style. If all the flowers in the garden were the same it would be a boring place.

[paralysedbyinertia]

No. I can't say that I like the look, but it's just a look. No judgement just because your taste happens to be a bit different from mine. It's just a matter of personal preference and self expression.

One of dd's good friends started dressing like a goth a couple of years ago. She is a lovely kid. Like me, DD isn't keen on the look, but she can appreciate that her friend executes the style well, and it makes no difference to their friendship.

I met Sophie Lancaster's mother a few years ago. What happened to her was utterly heartbreaking. I honestly can't begin to understand why people have so much hate on the basis of something so superficial as how people dress.

[Porcupineintherough]

I judge people on what they are wearing - up to a point. So I might admire their sense of style, or think they look ridiculous, or uncomfortable or worry they'll catch their death, or think that actually I'd rather not see that much of their backside. Depending on their clothing.

I dont think what you wear gives any great insight into your character (unless I guess something like a Britain First Tshirt).

[poppycat10]

Human nature is such that if someone is easy on the eye, they will do better in life. That has been proven in studies with interviewers etc.

And there are certain "standards" that people expect in certain professional contexts. So you probably wouldn't expect a lawyer to have a piercing and tattoos around their neck.

I am a bit conservative about dress - I do think there is professional standard to adhere to, but on the other hand I think most schools' attitudes to uniform are ludicrous, and they could chill, a lot!

Don't have an issue with Goths. I have more of an issue with people who wear strappy tops and flip-flops to office work (save it for the beach), or men who take their shirts off as soon as the sun comes out. Yes I am fattist but I don't need to see a hairy beer belly. Yuck. Also hate long Hipster beards with crumbs hanging around in them. Double yuck.

[KisstheTeapot14]

I really enjoy seeing people who dress different to the norm. As pp have said, its the girls and women who go over the top and end up looking like drag queens I'm not so keen on. I feel like they are pressured to look a certain way by media and I suppose I resent that. Also to me its not aesthetically pleasing. Whereas I like looking at goth costume/hair/make-up because its more interesting to my eye!

I work with teens in a largely working class area so I see quite a lot of the girls being hyper feminine. I'm from a w/c background myself but dressed in alternative/metal style as a teenager/young adult. I'm very norm core now in middle age but I may revert back as an old lady!

[GiveMeTulipsfromAmsterdam]

I think everyone 'judges' as in 'makes a judgment' based on what you see to some extent but it is what you do with that afterwards eg how you treat that individual....

eg you look like a 'goth' because you wear that style of clothing, I therefore assume you like that type of music... however, your life and your choice so I wouldn't treat you any differently to someone that dressed 'country bumpkin' or 'rock' or 'cowboy' - you cannot tell from the outward clothing the personality/intellect/friendliness at all

[MolyHolyGuacamole]

I do find that I link certain types of dress choice to personality types. So when I observe someone drawing attention themselves with their behaviour, I then clock the outfit and think to myself 'ah yes, makes sense'.

[Confusedandshaken]

I admire anyone who puts thought and effort into a considered 'look' even if it's not a look I would want to copy.

One of the best and most unexpected evenings out ive ever had was when we accidentally wandered into a 'pagan and alternative lifestyles festival'. It was held in a local conference centre and we had popped in to book tickets for another event and ended up staying for a drink since the bar was open. As young, married, Catholic parents dressed in very ordinary high street clothes we stood out like sore thumbs but we were fascinated by the people there. We ended up staying all night, drinking and chatting and learning about the many different lifestyles of the people we met. I thought they might judge us for our mainstream faith and lifestyle but if they did they were polite enough not to show it.

Incidentally the mum of the girl the Corrie character is based on was fully involved in the development of the storyline. She advised the writers and the actress and is very happy with the results

[Confusedandshaken]

@EmeraldShamrock

No. Sometimes I take a 2nd glance.
I try not. DD is 12 and interested in alternative clothing anime/goth she has ASD it makes her a target.
I am hoping she'll hide it I'm secondary school starting September.

Just let her roll with it. My now adult D.C. still marvel that I didn't protest or criticise during their emo phase but adolescence is the perfect time to experiment with different looks and tribes. If it's right for them it will stick but if not, it will pass.

[EmeraldShamrock]

@Confusedandshaken Thank you..

[HowToBringABlushToTheSnow]

I don't judge but equally, I can't help but form a v fleeting, subconscious opinion that generally, goths often have a sad look about them, like they are battling some inner demons.

I will say though, there is nothing original or 'different' about dressing 'alternatively'. It's not like no one else does it.

[AppleAppleAppleApple]

I spent my teenage years as a grinder/goth. Still love the music but don’t dress in that style any more.

The most amazing community, the loveliest people. I love how much more creative you can be and the clothing and style is often like wearing art.

Haven’t seen Coronation Street, but I hope They’re doing justice to what is basically, just fashion and music choices.

[Todayisanabsolutevanilladay]

fluffythedragonslayer

Laughing hysterically at them all? Nice....

[AppleAppleAppleApple]

@EmeraldShamrock

No. Sometimes I take a 2nd glance.
I try not. DD is 12 and interested in alternative clothing anime/goth she has ASD it makes her a target.
I am hoping she'll hide it I'm secondary school starting September.

You will likely find that she will make a solid group of friends who feel the same way she does. Don’t hope for her to hide herself. I had the best time because I was ‘alternative’, made amazing friends and had some fantastic times that I wouldn’t trade for the world. Let her be herself, she’ll find her own way. X

[banivani]

Like others have said, I make assumptions, sure, based on previous experience and probably a bit of prejudice - but I'm not judging per se. I wouldn't, for example, fall over with surprise if someone with a gothy look told me that they were also Pagans. I would be more surprised if they said they were devout Moslems and planning a Hajj in a couple of months.

I do "judge" people who can't dress appropriately for what a certain occasion demands in terms of practicality, for example youngsters who wear Converse and bare ankles in the winter in -10. To a certain extent, as PP have said, we all use our clothes to try to say something about ourselves or project an image we want people to see. What I see if you're so wedded to a look that you can't adapt your clothes to material circumstances is deep insecurity and/or a lack of true imagination (what it would take to be recognisable as a full goth in a Svalbard winter - if you can do that you have proper flair), which I understand in kids/teenagers but I expect an adult to grow out of. If your mask is more important than anything else, whatever that mask may be (full face of makeup to take the bins out or converses on the hike because you'd rather be DEAD than wear BOOTS) than I will think that says something about you, yes. I don't know if I'm "judging" when I assume people like that are either insecure or immature or both.

[clpsmum]

No never

Although if I'm honest I do sometimes secretly judge the fake tan/fake nails/tattood eyebrows/lip filler crew! Only internally though. Would always take people as I find them regardless of how they dress etc

[RosesAndHellebores]

I'd look and think they were a Goth. Not my cup of tea but to be honest it's so difficult to hire people with good technical skills in my department, if a candidate were a goth and gave me answers that indicated a high level of expertise, I'd snap them up.

I've had to have the conversation about appearance with a number of staff over the years and it has been on the whole about: spaghetti strap tops, midriffs, flip flops and offensive badges or tee-shirt. That's as far as our dress code goes.

[clpsmum]

@fluffythedragonslayer maybe they judged you more for coming across as a patronising arsehole the way you do in your post rather than your sparkly naff trainers

[Ughmaybenot]

I don't judge anyone. I don't get why being a goth is "alternative" to be honest as there's loads of goths and they all dress similar! It's just another type of fashion.
While it’s not a style I like myself, no, I wouldn’t judge goths specifically, but this sums it up for me. There’s a lot of fashion ‘trends’ I don’t particularly like, and I am sure many people don’t like the style I tend to lean towards, but does it really matter?
I do sometimes think someone looks a plank if they’re clearly not dressed weather-appropriately. That goes for any sort of style of course but I’ve noticed a time or two in recent warmer weather, goths rugged up like it’s snowy... must be uncomfortable, all for the aesthetic.

[Confusedandshaken]

@fluffythedragonslayer. I'm also very 'girly'. I love sequins and sparkle and wear colours. I manage to combine this with not laughing hysterically when I see people who dress, behave or dance differently to me. I don't even laugh when I see other middle aged women with pastel dyed hair. Perhaps it's because I'm comfortable with myself and my own choices so I'm able to accommodate other people's without mocking them?

[KurtWilde]

Nope because I dress that way and have done for years. Extensive tattoos too. Judge away it matters not.

[MedusasBadHairDay]

I don't think I've known any goths who believe they are entirely non-conformist, they are very aware that they are copying a fashion that's existed since the 80's and can point to exactly which goth "tribe" they dress in the manner of. I remember there being lots of joking about how conformist it was, eg. T-shirts that said, "I'm an individual- just like everyone else", and there was a website that pretended to sell an "insta goth kit" back in the early 2000's.

They dress that way because they like it, I'm never sure why people can understand that the clothes they personally wear are worn because they like them, but the clothes "alternative" people wear somehow have a hidden meaning.

Personally I've grown out of the goth look (into vintage inspired, so still not mainstream) because it's a lot of effort and maintenance, and I no longer have the time or energy that I used to. But fair play to those that still do. I can't see me ever being the type to wear jeans, T-shirt and trainers though. It may be less effort but it's not comfortable for me.

[Notjustanymum]

I’m afraid that I do! IMO someone who dresses alternatively is far more creative than those who follow the herd, and therefore more likely to be interesting to talk to...

[CuntyMcBollocks]

I couldn't care less how people dress - it's how people treat others that makes me judge them.