To ask if you personally judge people who dress alternatively?

[getyourfreakon]

As per the thread title.
Yes, Coronation Street has highlighted the issue. I'm what would be referred to as a "goth". I'm also a mother of one.
What are your feelings on the subject?

@Thisnamewasnttaken123

I don't care what people wear at all. As long as they aren't naked..

This. Clothes are always best. Especially during his chilly/showery spell

I try not to. But we’re all human at the end of the day and sometimes you can’t help it.

@IDontUnderstandFashion I would love your look I think it sounds amazing!
@MarielVanArkleStinks look it up on Pinterest it's tweedy, satchels,chunky shoes, knee socks, glasses etc all with a dark twist. Dd14 is dark academia that's the only reason I know!

I like seeing people in different styles - rather that than the groups of cloned young women and men, and the Boden mums who've overdone it.

I've never followed fashion closely with clothes, hair or make-up. I'd've been a goth for sure in my youth if I'd been braver!

In my 50s I have a style that suits me (I think & I'm told) that is a bit different (by accident rather than design) and feel comfortable with it.

I wear what I want to wear because I like it, not because I want to make a statement. I like DMs and bright colours. I also like slobbing about in tracksuit bottoms and a t-shirt/jumper too big for me. I will go out wearing whatever I like, and not notice if I garner any attention (which I probably don’t as I’m a “nobody”), although I have had people compliment me more than once on a certain pair of DM shoes. I tend not to notice what other people wear either.

@BrownEyedGirl80

Dressed in an alternative style NO I wouldn't judge. Dressed in pjs in Asda attention seeking YES I fucking well would

I went to the shop once in my pjs wearing wellies. I wasn’t attention seeking, I’d just run out of milk and couldn’t be arsed getting changed just to walk round the corner.

Interesting range of responses.
I'm in my 30s but short and babyfaced so people often assume I'm a teenager. I've been like this since the age of 13 and the level of vitriol I receive fairly often does still surprise me. My style is a bit more band tshirts and ripped jeans now unless I'm going to a gig or a club. Facial piercings and black eyeshadow seem to really rub people up the wrong way around here though.
I have the utmost respect for Sophie Lancaster's mum. What an incredible lady.

I admire people who can pull off a certain look, for me I'm happy in jeans and tshirt

@Wearywithteens

I wouldn’t judge them - I try and befriend them as all the adult ‘goths’ I’ve met have difficult backstories and have big insecurities. They need tlc.

🤣

That’s so patronising

People do judge, these kind of threads always decend into posters telling us what they wear because they're still so cool and alternative and/or sneering at people who dress like the cast of TOWIE or people who 'don't make an effort'.

I know this will come out all wrong, but I know what I'm trying to say...

People can dress how they like. I don't judge clothes or an outfit. It's when it's done to such a degree that they are screaming for attention, then act professionally offended that you notice them.

If you're going to wear head to toe sequins, or something akin to a black wedding dress, to Sainsbury's, it's likely I'll look. Most people will. It's human reflex to look at something that catches the eye, something that stands out.

Don't pretend you don't know you're drawing immense attention to yourself. Of course it's your choice. And no one really cares. It's the fake "I'm so unaware, that my ten layers of leather in the height of summer makes people take a second glance, it's obviously because they want to suppress me, and not because they're simply thinking my god she must be wilting" It's like wearing a sign that says "look at me" and then glaring at people for looking.

I wouldn't expect somebody dressed alternatively to be more or less interesting than somebody dressed conventionally.

I'll admit when I meet full-grown adults who use the way they dress as their personality I think they're a bit vain/dull. But most people are just wearing clothes they like the look of!

@getyourfreakon Not meaning to be rude but people may think you're a teenager because you dress like one?

I used to regularly (and somewhat proudly) get asked for ID in my 30s until I had a job where I had to dress neatly, and realised it was my jeans/print tees that are giving the young impression, not my youthful looks hah

I love to see people out and about who've made a bit of an effort. I've been through a few different fashion phases in my life, including goth-lite and fifties vintage. I'm all about easy clothes at the moment (pregnant with young kids) but it makes me smile to see people with a strong "look", whatever it is. I concur with PPs that everyone judges in the sense of thinks something about someone based on how they look. Right now people probably think, "Poor her!" when they look at me!!

But I think your OP meant judge in the sense of disapprove. So here's what I really think. I really dislike those stretchy/gauged ear piercings as they make me feel a bit ill to look at them. Definitely have to consciously avert my eyes and think of something else. I disapprove of people going out in basically their underwear, which is what the teenagers around here are doing at the moment - girls in jeggings and a glorified bra, boys with their shirts off and pants hanging out. Makes me tut like an old lady.

And specifically for goths, some goths do use Christian symbolism really disrespectfully. Not just a goth problem, but rosaries, crucifix necklaces etc are common in that fashion scene. And #notallgoths - most see the religious symbols as neutral fashion accessories and obviously they're more to me than that, but I'm not too fussed about that. However, I have seen for example some really unpleasant goth t-shirts making fun of serious religious paintings and that definitely makes me think, "Well we're not going to get on, are we?"

But overall, it makes me happy to see someone who's put a bit of effort into their dress as I find it interesting to look at - whatever vibe they're going for.

[quote Badgerwood]@getyourfreakon Not meaning to be rude but people may think you're a teenager because you dress like one?

I used to regularly (and somewhat proudly) get asked for ID in my 30s until I had a job where I had to dress neatly, and realised it was my jeans/print tees that are giving the young impression, not my youthful looks hah[/quote]
I have trialled dressing differently (to how I usually would) and toning make up way down to see if there was a difference. Nope. Maybe it's being such a shortarse as well kids in DD's class are taller than me!
I don't mind being looked at, that's par for the course. But stared down, scowled at or shouted at I think is unnecessary.
I've been spat at and physically attacked in the past.

I live in Glastonbury and I wouldn't manage to find any friends if I thought that.

@Peanutbutterandbananatoastie

www.trendystyleandtravel.com/post/dark-academia-fashion

This kind of thing Mariel (love that film btw), preppy but tweedy.

I love this sort of thing at the moment. Louis Vuitton did an amazing tweedy heritage collection about ten years ago which I still love. I'm not buying any more clothes until I've had this baby, finished breastfeeding and my body has assumed its new "final form" (so about two years) but I'm browsing for ideas already!

I'm much more comfortable with people who have an alternative style. From experience, always more friendly

But subconsciously I’m sure I gravitate to people who look a bit like me
I’m not into clothes or how I look so whilst I like being clean I couldn’t give 2 hoots about how I look beyond that. I don’t really enjoy dressing up for eg a Christmas do. I think I judge people who are very preened and spend a lot of time on their appearance, however they dress. Not that they shouldn’t do it - that’s their choice - but that we're probably very different people and I doubt we’d have that much in common.

This ^

Great posts by @skirk64 at 8:08:48
@lottiegarbanzo at 10:05:28
and @notalwaysalondoner at 11:17:16

Thanks for the dark academia link! (And it's the library I'm salivating over).

I in no way ever look that structured; think my 'style' (if it can be called that) is more leftover hippie than dark academia! Do love a black polo neck and a nice bit of tartan, though.

All this sadly reminds me that I'd normally be onto this, but haven't seen any of my students face to face for a year. It's the light, personal(ish) conversations that have mainly been the casualty of these lockdowns.

Don’t really care...but is anyone really ‘different?’ If you’ve seen one goth, you’ve seen them all. They all look like a depressed Marilyn Mansons to me. Punks? All look the same. Boden mums? carbon copies...no-one is different. I look like a lot of middle aged women, joules, Barbour etc. I’m lusting after a gorgeous Burberry trench just now...it’s all a uniform. You don’t get a second look from me I’m afraid.

I don't judge them in that I don't think they're weird or disturbed or anything, I just think that's their style and that's fine.

I don't like a lot of alt looks, but that's my personal taste and I'm not the one wearing it.

Then again we all know of that young goth couple who were murdered. So some people clearly take issue with it.

@Wearywithteens

I wouldn’t judge them - I try and befriend them as all the adult ‘goths’ I’ve met have difficult backstories and have big insecurities. They need tlc.

I’m not sure if you realise the irony of this post... but that IS a judgement.

Nope, and as someone who still dresses alternative ( live in para boots, ripped up punk t-shirts and 50-60% tattoo coverage of beautiful traditional Japanese work) despite being late 40s I couldn't give a fuck what anyone thinks.

Ive too got a baby gothling after years of pink princess hell which was her choice, and i didn't have an issue with her expressing herself that way either.

Have told her she can dress however she likes, except for sexy as at 13 she's not equipped to deal with the inevitable sleaze comments from men. She loves the "judgment" from certain types about her choice of clothing finding it hilarious.