To ask if you personally judge people who dress alternatively?

[getyourfreakon]

As per the thread title.
Yes, Coronation Street has highlighted the issue. I'm what would be referred to as a "goth". I'm also a mother of one.
What are your feelings on the subject?

Yes everyone is judged, and if you stick out from the norm especially so. I have been a ‘bit alternative’ in various ways, and it’s only just now in later life that I realise how much some of that has held me back from being taken seriously in many circles.

I dress quite sharp now, not conservative but smart and fashionable, and yet still many family, old colleagues and friends see me as ‘the slightly out there one’.

And even though I’m highly qualified, have done some very senior jobs, with a lot of responsibility, and have a fair few ‘ologies’ - I’m still treated a bit like a child!

Gosh no, not even in the slightest. I would perhaps presume they may be on the autistic spectrum. I work with people who are autistic and quite a few have been alternative/gothic.

XenoBitch The "gother than thou" thing was a real problem in the goth scene, tbh it's why I spent more time with punks. My proudest moment was getting referred to in a review of a goth gig as the "embarrassing baby goth near the front of the stage" - my only crime was having pink hair at a more trad-goth gig.

@bluebluezoo

Nope.

I prefer to see “alternative” dress and self expression than all the tanned, hd eyebrowed, heavily contoured and drag queen lips on girls these days.

I like interesting

Isn't this just as judgmental, just aimed at a different group?

There are still Goths?

@inmyslippers

I always thought it was people buying personality

Ironic 😂

no, being alternative is so mainstream these days, I'm glad that there are no clothing rules, fewer rules to get wrong!

I don't care what people wear at all.
As long as they aren't naked..

I knew some witches once who. Totally thought "suits" "Christians" and general conservative types were always against them and got quite a buzz out of being rebels, I'm now married to a " Christian suit" type person and have never once heard them or any member of the congregation or extremely straight laced office ever say anything negative about alternative folk ever, only kindness

@Wearywithteens

I wouldn’t judge them - I try and befriend them as all the adult ‘goths’ I’ve met have difficult backstories and have big insecurities. They need tlc.

That is judging them.

A lot of people dress to project a certain image - even if that is unconscious. So yes, I judge, but in the sense that I would make the judgement internally that they are "alternative" and that we probably aren't interested in the same things. I don't see that as a bad thing.

Funnily enough I was thinking about this the other day. This will probably make me sound completely stupid but I genuinely don't understand "fashion" as in trends for certain clothing/looks (eg contouring make up or mom jeans. Shoulder pads in the 80s etc.) which are taken up by a majority of people at a certain time. How does it come about and do people think it suits them or do they like being "on trend"? I don't mean that snarkily, I'm genuinely interested.

I know that jeans don't suit my body shape and I don't like or wear trousers. I have an hourglass kind of shape and wear skirts and dresses, usually A line and with a matching cardigan/twin set. Ideally matching shoes and handbags. I like this kind of outfit and look. I also have a coloured Mohican and shaved head as I like those too. (Also tattoos and piercings). My clothes probably look completely "out of sync" with the rest of my physical appearance, but I actually don't give a fuck, as I like it myself. It makes me happy.

Weirdly I love reading the Style and Beauty boards here

So to answer the OP question I absolutely don't judge people who dress outside the norms of "current" fashion or unusually. I think they are interesting to look at. I know people do judge me as weird (and I do get looks but also lots of nice comments about my hair).

I like to think I am eccentric, and confident in my eccentricities. Possibly people just look at me and think "what a knob"

@MedusasBadHairDay

I’m aiming for vaguely vintage librarian myself. I’m not trying to say anything about my personality, it just looks nice.

That sounds excellent. I'm really enjoying the dark academia and cottagecore looks at the moment, neither are quite right for me, but I'm borrowing bits here and there.

Yes these look great. I’m the same I don’t have the time or money or figure to go whole go hog but I might wear a bit of tweed or tartan here and there. Some high waisted trousers and some circle skirts too. I probably look pretty frumpy in reality.

Never. I only had to read the thread title for the story of poor Sophie Lancaster to spring to mind: the girl who was kicked to death for dressing alternatively. Some news stories stay with you and are never forgotten, and this was one. Her beautiful, brave mother has been on a campaign of education ever since and has done wonderful work. She is one of the best examples out there of returning good for evil.

I judge behaviour, not what people look like. I personally find identikit conventionality dull, albeit I don't judge that either as this is the norm, I was a Goth in my teens with a liking for piercings (now mostly retired) and still don't favour an entirely conventional look now.

I still think of Sophie, all these years later. She has a memorial bench on the West Cliff in Whitby, and I always stop for a moment or two and say a silent 'hello' to her, even though she's a woman I never met.

Awful story.

I guess it depends what you mean by judging. I might think 'what the fuck are you wearing??' but I wouldn't think 'you must be an awful/dangerous/bad/mean/rubbish person' - crazy maybe but interesting at least.

NB. What's dark academia? This old 40-something academic who is an ex-Goth has never heard of this. I Googled it and all I could find was a Hogwarts hoodie and a set of bookmarks!

@IDontUnderstandFashion

Funnily enough I was thinking about this the other day. This will probably make me sound completely stupid but I genuinely don't understand "fashion" as in trends for certain clothing/looks (eg contouring make up or mom jeans. Shoulder pads in the 80s etc.) which are taken up by a majority of people at a certain time. How does it come about and do people think it suits them or do they like being "on trend"? I don't mean that snarkily, I'm genuinely interested.

I know that jeans don't suit my body shape and I don't like or wear trousers. I have an hourglass kind of shape and wear skirts and dresses, usually A line and with a matching cardigan/twin set. Ideally matching shoes and handbags. I like this kind of outfit and look. I also have a coloured Mohican and shaved head as I like those too. (Also tattoos and piercings). My clothes probably look completely "out of sync" with the rest of my physical appearance, but I actually don't give a fuck, as I like it myself. It makes me happy.

Weirdly I love reading the Style and Beauty boards here

That sounds cool! I’d like to see that mashup of punk and lady like. Really interesting.

I was a goth at school from about 1983 - 1990, when it was first around and came on the backside of Punk, which my sister was.

I morphed form that into the Indie-kid / Skater look of the early 90s.

My husband at the same time was a Psychobilly who morphed firstly into a Skinhead and then into a Northern Soul Scooter Boy. And he still is to this day.

My look is fairly normal now, but you can tell my past by the many earring holes and nose ring, vintage DMs etc.

I would ever so slightly judge an adult full-on Goth I think, if I'm honest. But by judge that doesn't necessarily mean negatively. I would assume they were different to me, perhaps slightly immature maybe? As in, haven't grown out of it.... But then i'd be a hypocrite in that I don't judge DH with a garage full of Lambrettas, his Adidas Sambas and Fred Perrys….

I live in a bit of an artsy/hippy type place so no one bats an eyelid at the "goths" plenty at the school. I don't give two shits. The virtues thing is sad as based on a true story which I googled and it made me feel sick and angry. Just don't understand the mentality of anyone doing that hope life means life for them but spose it won't.

It bothers me that kids today don't really have a Tribe that they fit in with. All the girls have the same long hair parted in the middle, crop top, jeans and white AF1s.

All the boys wear sports wear and have fades. 🤷‍♀️

www.trendystyleandtravel.com/post/dark-academia-fashion

This kind of thing Mariel (love that film btw), preppy but tweedy.

@MarieIVanArkleStinks

Never. I only had to read the thread title for the story of poor Sophie Lancaster to spring to mind: the girl who was kicked to death for dressing alternatively. Some news stories stay with you and are never forgotten, and this was one. Her beautiful, brave mother has been on a campaign of education ever since and has done wonderful work. She is one of the best examples out there of returning good for evil.

I judge behaviour, not what people look like. I personally find identikit conventionality dull, albeit I don't judge that either as this is the norm, I was a Goth in my teens with a liking for piercings (now mostly retired) and still don't favour an entirely conventional look now.

I still think of Sophie, all these years later. She has a memorial bench on the West Cliff in Whitby, and I always stop for a moment or two and say a silent 'hello' to her, even though she's a woman I never met.

Awful story.

She was only 2 years younger than me. Hearing what happened to her just reminded me of all the friends I'd seen attacked for dressing differently (goths, punks, metallers, grungers etc) One poor bloke got chased through the college into a stairwell and had the shit kicked out of him (luckily only superficial injuries).

The worst I had was a group of teens following me down the road and throwing stones at me, thankfully most of the time I was left alone (apparently I was intimidating, all 4ft 10 of me)

Everyone saying “no” just isn’t being honest. Of course you might not judge them in a negative way, but for sure every single person makes assumptions about somebody else (both positive and negative) because of how they dress. It’s basic human nature in order to allow us to rapidly assess the people we meet every day, going back to the ancient days when we needed to assess if someone was friend or foe. To deny this is just being facetious.

For example, I have a good friend who is super scruffy, always wearing outdoor clothing etc. If I’d never met her I’d assume she was someone for whom fashion isn’t important, probably into hiking, and maybe didn’t have a lot of money. That’s not judging her in a negative way, but it’s still judging. Similarly I have a friend who has pink hair and is a goth. If I was a stranger I’d probably assume she was brave at not caring what others thought, into an alternative subculture, and maybe had some issues in her past to make her dress in such an alternative way. It happens not all of those are true but those would be my assumptions. For people to deny they make assumptions based on others’ external appearance is false - even if you’d like to think you don’t judge, you make assumptions which amounts to the same thing, at least until those assumptions are corrected.

Dressed in an alternative style NO I wouldn't judge.
Dressed in pjs in Asda attention seeking YES I fucking well would