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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Mil blocked me on What's App

141 replies

Mammymar · 04/05/2021 14:26

So mil has always been difficult. We have got on in the past but it was really me just keeping the peace. The last few times my DH has rang her she has been of with him, pulling him up on silly things and trying to start an argument. She has text my DH twice in the last month to tell my children not to visit as she is tired. She lives close by but has not seen or asked after grandchildren for weeks. So I recently turned 40 and my Aunt had a bbq for me in her home and invited my Aunts and Uncles as we would all be close. I didn't invite any of my friends or DH family as I wasn't the host and bbq was not in my home. I sent mil a picture of myself and DH at the bbq with Happy Birthday balloons and she blocked me. DH text her to ask why she blocked me but she has not replied. I told DH to just leave it as I really don't have the energy. I know it all sounds a bit muddled but I don't know what I did wrong. We don't live in the UK so the Covid restrictions are different in case anybody thinks that's she might be annoyed with me for going to a bbq.

OP posts:

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 04/05/2021 14:29

It's probably for the best. If you need to communicate with her some time in the future there's always the phone,

Inthesameboatatmo · 04/05/2021 14:30

Let her get on with it ,shes being juvenile

Aprilshowersandhail · 04/05/2021 14:30

Enjoy the peace op... Mil never had my mobile number...
She will be expecting you to go running I assume.
So don't!!
Been nc with mine for over 6 years now-fanbloodytastic!!

BiddyPop · 04/05/2021 14:30

Unless DAunt had asked you if you wanted to invite some people, she was the host so absolutely DMIL should not have expected an invite to someone else's event.

It sounds like she is looking for excuses for a row TBH.

I'd ignore her, and not feed the drama.

EL8888 · 04/05/2021 14:31

I would also view it as a good thing. She sounds like a pain

mrsdavegrohl · 04/05/2021 14:31

Why would you send her a picture of you both at a party that she wasn't invited too? Directly to her on WhatsApp?

conywarp · 04/05/2021 14:34

@mrsdavegrohl

Why would you send her a picture of you both at a party that she wasn't invited too? Directly to her on WhatsApp?

God yes, this.

Her reaction is odd but what were you hoping to achieve by sending your MIL, with who there are issues, a picture like this?

Original poster

Mammymar · 04/05/2021 14:35

@mrsdavegrohl,it wasn't a party, just a small bbq. I sent the picture to other people too not just her. She was the only one who took offence.

OP posts:

Porcupineintherough · 04/05/2021 14:35

Maybe your dh should call round and talk to her? Sounds like she might be ill.

Original poster

Mammymar · 04/05/2021 14:37

We would regularly send pictures through whats app to family members and vice versa.

OP posts:

NurseButtercup · 04/05/2021 14:37

THIS

She has text my DH twice in the last month to tell my children not to visit as she is tired. She lives close by but has not seen or asked after grandchildren for weeks.

and MIL blocking you from WhatsApp suggest to me that she's got some other stuff going on in her life. I would encourage DH to go and see his mom, not text her to make sure she's ok. If she's ok then I'd shrug it off and leave her be.

NurseButtercup · 04/05/2021 14:38

@Porcupineintherough

Maybe your dh should call round and talk to her? Sounds like she might be ill.

I agree...

Original poster

Mammymar · 04/05/2021 14:40

@Porcupineintherough,I was actually wondering today if she was ill. As I said her behaviour has always been difficult but it was usually just me she took it out on. DH and her grandchildren have been on the receiving end of it now too.

OP posts:

mrsdavegrohl · 04/05/2021 14:40

You've laid out that she's a difficult woman. I just don't understand your thought process here at all.

When I have dealings with difficult family members I keep communication to the absolute minimum.

Alternista · 04/05/2021 14:41

Does seem a bit weird/tone deaf to send her a photo of you and her son at a family event she wasn’t invited to!

thecatsthecats · 04/05/2021 14:41

MIL issue: she sounds like no loss at all. I wouldn't be bothering with her more than I had to. Children don't need grandparents, they need the people in their lives to be consistent, engaged and caring.

On the picture... To be honest, I personally wouldn't be sharing a picture like that with people who might wonder why they weren't invited. Your Aunt might have been hosting, but I'd never host someone's big birthday without offering to have everyone they'd like to be there (not that your MIL sounds like an asset to a party!). Unless it was clear in the conversation that this was a private celebration between you and some family, I don't see why you would share it with her given that you aren't close.

So I'd personally be more circumspect about what you share.

AnnaSW1 · 04/05/2021 14:42

Sounds ideal

Roodicus21 · 04/05/2021 14:45

Why would you send someone you don't like a picture of you and your dh at a celebration they're not invited to? A pic of the gc maybe but it looked like you were giving two fingers.

WeeGobshiteBentBastard · 04/05/2021 14:46

She sounds like an absolute twat so I'd cut your losses and be glad.

Original poster

Mammymar · 04/05/2021 14:48

The only other people who were at the bbq were my two Aunts and their husbands, one of which is my Godmother. No big party or family celebration that she missed out on. I regularly get pictures sent to my what's app from friends and family members if they are doing something nice.

OP posts:

DilemmaADay · 04/05/2021 14:48

I agree, it's all a bit tone deaf.

She has mentioned several times that she doesn't want the children to visit as she's tired, and there's been hints at her being unwell. Instead of DH calling her, offering to do some shopping for her or whatever, you send her a photo of you both having fun at a BBQ. You both seem quite thoughtless to be honest.

I have suffered from poor mental health and covid fairly recently and avoided Social Media for a while. If I'd have been sent a photo of other people having fun, totally unsolicited, I'd have probably been tipped over the edge too

Thatisnotwhatisaid · 04/05/2021 14:49

Wish MIL would block me rather than sending me incessant memes and videos on WhatsApp . You’ve had a lucky escape by the sound of things.

Original poster

Mammymar · 04/05/2021 14:49

@Roodicus21,I didn't say I disliked mil just that she could be very difficult.

OP posts:

Rubyrecka · 04/05/2021 14:50

What a silly jealous and bitter women. Good riddance she sounds like an attention seeking fun sponge

LifeinaNorthernTown · 04/05/2021 14:52

I sent mil a picture of myself and DH at the bbq with Happy Birthday balloons and she blocked me

Why did you send her a picture in the first instance, doesn't sound like you have that great a relationship and her relationship with her son sounds shit too.

Are you sure you just didn't send it to annoy her?

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