Mil blocked me on What's App
Mammymar · 04/05/2021 14:26
So mil has always been difficult. We have got on in the past but it was really me just keeping the peace. The last few times my DH has rang her she has been of with him, pulling him up on silly things and trying to start an argument. She has text my DH twice in the last month to tell my children not to visit as she is tired. She lives close by but has not seen or asked after grandchildren for weeks. So I recently turned 40 and my Aunt had a bbq for me in her home and invited my Aunts and Uncles as we would all be close. I didn't invite any of my friends or DH family as I wasn't the host and bbq was not in my home. I sent mil a picture of myself and DH at the bbq with Happy Birthday balloons and she blocked me. DH text her to ask why she blocked me but she has not replied. I told DH to just leave it as I really don't have the energy. I know it all sounds a bit muddled but I don't know what I did wrong. We don't live in the UK so the Covid restrictions are different in case anybody thinks that's she might be annoyed with me for going to a bbq.
Am I being unreasonable?AIBU
You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.
conywarp · 04/05/2021 14:34
God yes, this.
Her reaction is odd but what were you hoping to achieve by sending your MIL, with who there are issues, a picture like this?
NurseButtercup · 04/05/2021 14:37
She has text my DH twice in the last month to tell my children not to visit as she is tired. She lives close by but has not seen or asked after grandchildren for weeks.
and MIL blocking you from WhatsApp suggest to me that she's got some other stuff going on in her life. I would encourage DH to go and see his mom, not text her to make sure she's ok. If she's ok then I'd shrug it off and leave her be.
thecatsthecats · 04/05/2021 14:41
MIL issue: she sounds like no loss at all. I wouldn't be bothering with her more than I had to. Children don't need grandparents, they need the people in their lives to be consistent, engaged and caring.
On the picture... To be honest, I personally wouldn't be sharing a picture like that with people who might wonder why they weren't invited. Your Aunt might have been hosting, but I'd never host someone's big birthday without offering to have everyone they'd like to be there (not that your MIL sounds like an asset to a party!). Unless it was clear in the conversation that this was a private celebration between you and some family, I don't see why you would share it with her given that you aren't close.
So I'd personally be more circumspect about what you share.
Mammymar · 04/05/2021 14:48
The only other people who were at the bbq were my two Aunts and their husbands, one of which is my Godmother. No big party or family celebration that she missed out on. I regularly get pictures sent to my what's app from friends and family members if they are doing something nice.
DilemmaADay · 04/05/2021 14:48
I agree, it's all a bit tone deaf.
She has mentioned several times that she doesn't want the children to visit as she's tired, and there's been hints at her being unwell. Instead of DH calling her, offering to do some shopping for her or whatever, you send her a photo of you both having fun at a BBQ. You both seem quite thoughtless to be honest.
I have suffered from poor mental health and covid fairly recently and avoided Social Media for a while. If I'd have been sent a photo of other people having fun, totally unsolicited, I'd have probably been tipped over the edge too
LifeinaNorthernTown · 04/05/2021 14:52
I sent mil a picture of myself and DH at the bbq with Happy Birthday balloons and she blocked me
Why did you send her a picture in the first instance, doesn't sound like you have that great a relationship and her relationship with her son sounds shit too.
Are you sure you just didn't send it to annoy her?
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.