Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mil blocked me on What's App

141 replies

Mammymar · 04/05/2021 14:26

So mil has always been difficult. We have got on in the past but it was really me just keeping the peace. The last few times my DH has rang her she has been of with him, pulling him up on silly things and trying to start an argument. She has text my DH twice in the last month to tell my children not to visit as she is tired. She lives close by but has not seen or asked after grandchildren for weeks. So I recently turned 40 and my Aunt had a bbq for me in her home and invited my Aunts and Uncles as we would all be close. I didn't invite any of my friends or DH family as I wasn't the host and bbq was not in my home. I sent mil a picture of myself and DH at the bbq with Happy Birthday balloons and she blocked me. DH text her to ask why she blocked me but she has not replied. I told DH to just leave it as I really don't have the energy. I know it all sounds a bit muddled but I don't know what I did wrong. We don't live in the UK so the Covid restrictions are different in case anybody thinks that's she might be annoyed with me for going to a bbq.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mammymar · 04/05/2021 14:54

@DilemmaADay,so nobody is allowed to enjoy themselves because of how you feel. I suffer with my own mh (diagnosed) and I was having a good day. Mil has plenty of help from fil so she definately does not need help with shopping. With regards to the children not visiting mil likes to stay up very late watching films and you tube which has caused problems in the past in her own marriage.

OP posts:
lostlife · 04/05/2021 14:56

I sent mil a picture of myself and DH at the bbq with Happy Birthday balloons

Why?
Why do people need to share every minute of their day and assume that anyone else would be at all interested

Whatapp you are sending to person/group. Cant be ignored like Facebook

So self centred- all about MEEEEEEE

Original poster
Mammymar · 04/05/2021 14:56

@LifeinaNorthernTown,i actually didn't send it to her to annoy her. I sent her pictures in March of a family wedding we all attended and I sent her pictures of the grandkids last week. She replied to these.

OP posts:
SilverStory · 04/05/2021 14:56

A very similar thing happened to a friend of mine when there was an informal birthday gathering with her own family. The relationship with ILs never recovered, but her DH continues to see his parents with the kids. Such an odd reaction.

Aprilshowersandhail · 04/05/2021 14:57

Op's birthday didn't revolve around mil. Is she too bratty to be happy op had a good day? Seems like dummy has been well spat out op.

SandyY2K · 04/05/2021 15:02

Why do people need to share every minute of their day and assume that anyone else would be at all interested

I agree.
There was no need to send her the picture, even if you sent it to others.

If this you said MIL sent you a picture of her birthday, ppl would be critical of her.

For someone you've already said can be difficult, this was easily predictable.

How do you know she's blocked you?

Have you sent her a message and awaiting a response?

Original poster
Mammymar · 04/05/2021 15:02

@Aprilshowersandhail,thank you, I'm being made to feel that I shouldn't have celebrated my birthday, took a picture or generally enjoyed myself because of how mil might feel or react.

OP posts:
CokeDrinker · 04/05/2021 15:03

Does your DH have any brothers or sisters? Because I was thinking maybe he could ask them what they think, and they could all talk to her about seeing a doctor.

Original poster
Mammymar · 04/05/2021 15:04

SandyY2K, her picture is gone from my what's app which means I'm blocked.. I also tried to ring her last night and got the blocked tone.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mammymar · 04/05/2021 15:05

For what it's worth I'm not on Facebook or Instagram so I don't share my whole life.

OP posts:
wildeverose · 04/05/2021 15:06

If you'd sent photos of your Dc, I could see it. But sending a photo of you on your bday, somewhere she wasn't invited? Unnecessary, and if she's particularly sensitive i can see why she's upset. It's a really odd thing to do.

Original poster
Mammymar · 04/05/2021 15:06

@CokeDrinker yes he has siblings, one works abroad, one is going through their own difficulties and he wouldn't be close to the other sibling.

OP posts:
sapnupuas · 04/05/2021 15:08

There's nothing wrong with sending someone a photo like this. You're getting some odd responses.

Original poster
Mammymar · 04/05/2021 15:10

@wildeverose,why would she need to be invited though. I regularly get photos from family members that involve activities that I'm not invited to. I could understand if I had a party in my own home and didn't invite her. My Aunt literally had a bbq and got me a balloon.

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 04/05/2021 15:13

I think you were a bit cheeky posting photos of your birthday celebrations when she wasn't invited. Did you not think that could be hurtful.

Tiktokersmiracle · 04/05/2021 15:13

With the greatest of respect, fuck her
The trash has taken itself out. You did nothing wrong. If your birthday was so impossible she would've organised something herself.

Honestly, don't waste your energy on negative people like that. There's an unwritten suggestion that we must put up with family who add nothing but negativity to our lives by default of the family title. Why? I don't get it at all. If it was a work colleague or a friend, you wouldn't think twice.

DH can maintain a relationship, you are under no obligation to whatsoever. She blocked you. Job done.

sunflowersandbuttercups · 04/05/2021 15:14

Without context, she probably thought it was a family birthday party that you'd not invited her to.

mrssunshinexxx · 04/05/2021 15:14

So jealous @Aprilshowersandhail

billy1966 · 04/05/2021 15:14

Enjoy the peace OP and respect her desire for space.

Candyfloss99 · 04/05/2021 15:14

There was no need to send her a photo of yourself at your birthday party that she wasn't invited to. It seems like a very strange thing to do.

nitsandwormsdodger · 04/05/2021 15:15

She may be having mental health issues but that doesn't mean you have to put up with shorty behaviour
I'd leave a cheery voice message on her landline or FiL phone asking after her and then leave it

Original poster
Mammymar · 04/05/2021 15:17

Viviennemary, I didn't post them anywhere, took one photo and sent it to mil and other friends and family. It was not my home or was it my event.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mammymar · 04/05/2021 15:18

@Tiktokersmiracle,thank you.

OP posts:
Topseyt · 04/05/2021 15:18

I rarely share pictures on WhatsApp except occasionally with very close family and only then if I know for sure that it is something they are likely to be interested in. So I probably wouldn’t have bothered sharing anything.

However, that is just me and I know others operate differently.

She sounds like a rather prickly character, and rather immature to boot. Maybe her blocking you is a blessing in disguise? Block her number too and then just leave her to get on with it. She’ll try to contact you at some point when she wants or needs something and then will find that two can play at this blocking game.

arethereanyleftatall · 04/05/2021 15:19

[quote Mammymar]@Aprilshowersandhail,thank you, I'm being made to feel that I shouldn't have celebrated my birthday, took a picture or generally enjoyed myself because of how mil might feel or react.[/quote]
By who?

Not one single person on this thread has suggested you shouldn't have a good time on your birthday. Not one. Several have suggested that it wasn't the wisest move to send a photo unsolicited to someone not invited.

Swipe left for the next trending thread