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Original poster

Not to let 11yr old go to local park on her own?

355 replies

dramaqueen80 · 03/05/2021 22:52

Just wondering at about what age would you let child go to park on own - to meet friends, hang out (we are in SW - small city)? Some of daughter's friends are allowed to go on own/with friends - and then they go to shops so walking around area. This is for a few hrs. I stay in park somewhere in sight - reading/working. Am not a big fan of kids hanging out in park (CV or no) - would prefer child engaged in more directed activities. She is end primary so will be off to secondary next year. Feels too soon to let them out in public on own - am I being ridiculous? When is ok (I'm feeling never Grin)

OP posts:
laserfocus · 05/05/2021 19:01

if you really think we are making it up, you only have to flip over to the teen section and update your vision of parks.

JustLyra · 05/05/2021 19:06

The suggestion that people don’t care about the kids is just about as offensive, and inaccurate, as the idea that only one person on the thread knows teenagers.

Clearly some people never learn how to accept that others have different opinions.

I’ve worked in education for twenty years and I’ve never known anyone so relentless. I also must go and tell the police officer parents of DS’s best mate that they shouldn’t be letting their kid that they know go to the park that we know in the town we know because someone on the Internet knows all teens and all parks better...

laserfocus · 05/05/2021 19:08

SE op.

I just see a lot of these posts as sad, because parents start out with the right reasons for wanting their kids out in the fresh air. No one wants kids stuck at home. but many just don't have the first clue how bad it can get, or how much trouble they are storing up for the future. Blindsided is the word I would use. you can't press rewind put it that way.

freshfromtheweekend · 05/05/2021 19:11

This reply has been deleted

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Carouselfish · 05/05/2021 19:17

Just had this discussion with dp about the future of our 5 year old. We've decided she can go to the park at 16 and we'll follow her with a drone. And possibly an ankle tag. And a rottweiler.

Seriously, 11 seems young.

ThePlantsitter · 05/05/2021 19:19

I can't believe the park is the thing you're pulling out of that post. We all know (or should) that our kids are not immune to trouble but the park is really not the star of the show in that post.

freshfromtheweekend · 05/05/2021 19:27

The park is what I am pulling out theplant as that is where most kids are introduced to drugs.

freshfromtheweekend · 05/05/2021 19:28

I don't want dd involved with that, she is too young.

laserfocus · 05/05/2021 19:30

The star of the show is the drug dealers picking off young kids, not the park!!

dramaqueenliveson · 05/05/2021 19:39

dramaWhy ask if you feel comfortable about dd going op?

11 does seem young. Some parks are not nice places. Why are you supervising in the first place if it is safe?

Original poster
dramaqueen80 · 05/05/2021 20:04

@dramaqueenliveson because I'm weighing it up. We live in small city in sw like I said. I'm not from uk but father is Brummy (Black Country actually). Neither of us are from down 'ere but sensible people are letting their kids do certain things. As people on thread have said she will be going to secondary next year so it is probably time to start testing independence and having some serious conversations in preparation. Her father will feed into these discussions too - he is probably more protective then I am. Like I said she has so far been supervised. I am weighing when to pull that back a bit. I appreciate all responses.

OP posts:
ThePlantsitter · 05/05/2021 20:08

@freshfromtheweekend

The park is what I am pulling out theplant as that is where most kids are introduced to drugs.
Would love to see the source for this.
GintyMcGinty · 05/05/2021 22:01

@laserfocus that's a real shame for you and your family.

But you are projecting.

DumplingsAndStew · 06/05/2021 01:30

Some right weirdos on this thread fantasising that all preteen/teens are hanging around in parks getting high and having sex.

That's sick, mate.

Maggiesfarm · 07/05/2021 00:42

freshfromtheweekend

The park is what I am pulling out theplant as that is where most kids are introduced to drugs.
.........
Surely that depends on the type of park and the area it is in.

OrribleIstories · 07/05/2021 00:55

Too many pitbulls around here. Not a risk I'm willing to take. My eldest is 10. He's not expressed any interest in going out by himself. We've had several incidents of big scary dogs coming at him/his sister, and he's too small to deal with the dog or their owners.
I'm less concerned about pedophiles.

MissKeithsNeice · 07/05/2021 09:01

The quickest route to park/teen/trouble life as per the huge hyperbole spouted by PPs is to destroy your relationship with your dc and/or to choose actions which have a negative impact on their mental health.

Seems to me that trusting your dc to go to the park is a huge step forward in preventing her from a drug-addled life of depravity.

Roselilly36 · 07/05/2021 09:13

I would worry to OP, so many children go missing, it is really scary. She should be fine with her friends, but kids fall out, get separated etc. It’s a different world than when we were growing up sadly.

I know from my DS’ now adults telling me that drugs were a big problem at high school, alcohol/smoking not so much of an issue.

SoMuchForSummerLove · 07/05/2021 09:17

Do 'so many' kids really go missing? I would argue my kids are safer than I was, at least they have phones, and can keep in touch - and I can see where they are. None of that was possible in the 80s.

Roselilly36 · 07/05/2021 09:24

www.missingpeople.org.uk/for-professionals/information-and-policy/information-and-research/key-information

I think the figures may surprise you @SoMuchForSummerLove they certainly did me.

SoMuchForSummerLove · 07/05/2021 09:27

Mmm. I would guess that statistically VERY few of these are 10 year olds who go missing on the way to the park, rather than teenagers who are trying to escape chaotic home lives, for example, by repeatedly running away.

ThePlantsitter · 07/05/2021 09:30

I'm not sure what figure it is that worries you in relation to parks. More kids go missing per year than I expected too but it seems the main cause of that is running away from problems at home not being in the park?

DumplingsAndStew · 07/05/2021 09:56

@OrribleIstories

Too many pitbulls around here. Not a risk I'm willing to take. My eldest is 10. He's not expressed any interest in going out by himself. We've had several incidents of big scary dogs coming at him/his sister, and he's too small to deal with the dog or their owners. I'm less concerned about pedophiles.
Are you in the UK? If so, pitbulls are banned in the UK are they not?
midnightstar66 · 07/05/2021 14:02

Mmm. I would guess that statistically VERY few of these are 10 year olds who go missing on the way to the park, rather than teenagers who are trying to escape chaotic home lives, for example, by repeatedly running away.

Yes this, or family disputes. DC taken by another family member especially when Uk isn't the original country or origin. I remember seeing a lot of that on Interpol

SoMuchForSummerLove · 07/05/2021 14:22

Exactly. The park isn't much of a danger when you think what some kids are dealing with in their own homes.

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