[quote FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop]@Coldwine75 but why does it have to be alone? To ignore and without affection from an emotionally immature person who is just out of babyhood is cruel.
When women tell us their DHs withhold affection as punishment we call it abuse. But we're supposed to believe it's good for the same to happen to a 3yo. Bullshit.[/quote]
It’s isn’t the same though. An adult knows how to behave, a child doesn’t. The root of the word ‘discipline’ means to learn, not to punish. An adult shouldn’t be disciplining their partner at all. A parent does need to discipline their child - it means you are teaching them.
If you simply talk to a 3 year old, they can’t fully process the words - they don’t have the maturity. Hugging them essentially tells them that what they have just done isn’t that bad, because you aren’t annoyed. Your words may say that but you are sending mixed messages.
Your partner could certainly process when your are talking to them. Your toddler doesn’t so much.
Time alone is a consequence- you’ve done something, now I want a moment’s space from you. Literally a moment, not hours and hours.
In a couple of years time, if they hit, do they think, I know I shouldn’t because she says I shouldn’t but she still hugs so whatever.... it’s not like the words bother me....
I understand what you are saying, and I’m not advocating punitive measure because it all has to be age appropriate but there has to be firmness, and guidance, and an understanding from the child of when they have gone too far and what will happen then.
Because we’ve all watched people chasing their child, sometimes not even a toddler, saying “Remember we use kind hands” while the child whacks anything and everything and everyone in sight, thinking “Your words say kind hands, but your actions and tone of voice say “I don’t really care what you do darling...”