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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH said DS is becoming a spoiled brat.

404 replies

NOTabrat · 03/05/2021 19:42

DH has tonight said our three year old is turning into a spoiled brat. Apparently, it's my fault because I let him get his own way. He even went as far as to say if we don't rein it in now he'll end up being the bully at school who gets expelled, smokes and takes drugs. AIBU to think it's bloody ridiculous to talk about a three year old like this?

OP posts:
Pumperthepumper · 03/05/2021 22:47

@sadpapercourtesan

Ooh, which one of us is the sock? I don't think it's me, I've been here since 2003. Unless I'm a very old sock.
It must be me then, I’ve only been here since 2010ish.
stackemhigh · 03/05/2021 22:47

I was repeating your words to make a point

Sad and mean spirited we’re used by sad

And no, I didn’t criticise OP for doting on her son. Hmm.

Truly pathetic behaviour from you.

Pumperthepumper · 03/05/2021 22:48

@stackemhigh

I was repeating your words to make a point

Sad and mean spirited we’re used by sad

And no, I didn’t criticise OP for doting on her son. Hmm.

Truly pathetic behaviour from you.

What’s pathetic?
sadpapercourtesan · 03/05/2021 22:48

Young whippersnapper Grin

sadpapercourtesan · 03/05/2021 22:49

I think you'll find it was odd and mean-spirited, btw

Pumperthepumper · 03/05/2021 22:49

@sadpapercourtesan

Young whippersnapper Grin
So I am, I’m practically a baby in MN terms 👑
stackemhigh · 03/05/2021 22:51

@Pumperthepumper inventing things I’ve supposedly said. Anyway, will leave you and Sad to it, seems you have a similar mentality.

CloudPop · 03/05/2021 22:52

@Onesnowynight

Judging by the brief overview you’ve given I’m with dh on this one......
Me too
Pumperthepumper · 03/05/2021 22:52

[quote stackemhigh]@Pumperthepumper inventing things I’ve supposedly said. Anyway, will leave you and Sad to it, seems you have a similar mentality.[/quote]
I’d rather Sad’s mentality than someone who comes on a thread to be a dick about a three years old, to be fair.

stackemhigh · 03/05/2021 22:53

More invention! Grin I said nothing about the 3yo.

Truly, truly, pathetic.

Enjoy.

wildeverose · 03/05/2021 22:54

He's 3 ffs 😂 toddlers are arseholes. Pps are acting as if he's in need of supernanny, for sneaking some chocolate buttons - the horror!! Op he's fine and you're fine. Ignore most of these replies, Mumsnet expects all children to be seen and not heard, and 99% of parents are doing a shite job by MN standards.

foxyroxyyy · 03/05/2021 22:54

The thread got too long when it got onto Boris so I stopped.

I just wanted to say you sound like a WONDERFUL mother. You've created a beautiful secure attachment with your child.

Fuck what anyone else thinks, you're doing great!!! Some conscious parenting groups will have resources you can share and use to teach your husband on why him constantly telling your son off for being a normal toddler is harmful.

All the best Thanks
Ps. Boris is a twat because that's who he is and probably the behaviour that was moddled to him as a child not because he was allowed free will.

Pumperthepumper · 03/05/2021 22:55

@stackemhigh

More invention! Grin I said nothing about the 3yo.

Truly, truly, pathetic.

Enjoy.

Not as pathetic as having a go at a parent for doting on her child and being snide about her posting on her own thread. And the bit about your cousin (was it?) who you bullied and ostracised to get back at his mother for spoiling him. What an excellent human you turned out to be though.
stackemhigh · 03/05/2021 23:04

Well I was a child, pumper, reacting to a spoilt child who was allowed to make other children miserable. Very hypocritical to not have sympathy for any child going through that, no?

Pumperthepumper · 03/05/2021 23:06

@stackemhigh

Well I was a child, pumper, reacting to a spoilt child who was allowed to make other children miserable. Very hypocritical to not have sympathy for any child going through that, no?
Not when that very anecdote is used to have a go at another struggling parent, no. And that child (you) is presumably now an adult who’s still using that as an example of just deserts. Fingers crossed the OP’s three year old is also bullied, eh? That’ll teach her for doting on him!
TwinsAndTrifle · 03/05/2021 23:06

No, from the first few bits I've read, this is not "Mumsnet expecting children to be seen and not heard"

Absolutely your son sounds spoiled. By you. And it won't benefit him.

How this has gone off on such a tangent, I don't know. But OP, you're not the devil. Your son is not a terrible child. Your husband is not an ogre.

What you write though (and I'm only interested in what you say) tells me that you are spoiling him. I have baby twins and an elder with ADHD, so I'm not inexperienced and inherently rather tolerant... and the behaviour you've described would not be allowed or enabled in our home. Your DH is exaggerating, but only marginally. Spoilt children do not make great adults. Luckily he's so small, you can fix this pretty easily.

Summersun2020 · 03/05/2021 23:08

OP your updates (drip feeds or back-pedalling? Hmm) paint a very different picture than your original post. I’d be very interested to hear your DHs take on this.

stackemhigh · 03/05/2021 23:09

Interesting that you don’t see that it was actually me that was being bullied pumper. I hope you don’t work with children.

Pumperthepumper · 03/05/2021 23:13

@stackemhigh

Interesting that you don’t see that it was actually me that was being bullied pumper. I hope you don’t work with children.
The story you told, you and your cousins (was it?) ganged up against one other cousin because their mother doted on them. You, an adult, then passed that story on to the OP as a dire warning of what would happen to her kid if she wasn’t careful. No, I’m not seeing how you were bullied in that story. I’m not seeing how you’ve covered yourself in glory in this thread either, being so anti-bullying and all that you had to come on here just to be horrible to a parent looking for advice.
stackemhigh · 03/05/2021 23:18

Pumper, you’ve left out so much of my post that it’s laughable!

It‘s not even worth explaining to you because you’ve done it repeatedly.

Re-read my post, it recounts what happened to me and how I dealt with it as a child. There was no warning to OP!

Original poster
NOTabrat · 03/05/2021 23:19

@stackemhigh

Well at least I’m not a sock!
What does this mean?
OP posts:
stackemhigh · 03/05/2021 23:21

OP, two posters were using the same adjectives so I suggested they might be the same.

Anyway, sorry your thread got derailed. Bedtime for me.

Taikoo · 03/05/2021 23:24

I'm with your DH.

Original poster
NOTabrat · 03/05/2021 23:25

@Taikoo

I'm with your DH.
He'll be thrilled, I'm sure.
OP posts:
Pumperthepumper · 03/05/2021 23:25

@stackemhigh

Pumper, you’ve left out so much of my post that it’s laughable!

It‘s not even worth explaining to you because you’ve done it repeatedly.

Re-read my post, it recounts what happened to me and how I dealt with it as a child. There was no warning to OP!

Why is it relevant to the thread then? Why bring it up?