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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I think my neighbour is a cheeky fucker aibu?

371 replies

SiliconHeaven · 02/05/2021 22:00

I was working at my computer earlier today, my ‘office’ is at the front of the house and I was sat by the open window. Two boys came to my door, a neighbour and his friend, aged about 6 or 7. I saw them pass the window and I could hear them giggling and chatting. They rang the doorbell and knocked on the door. I didn’t answer it because I didn’t want to.
Short while later the neighbour dad came to my open window and started shouting at me about how rude I was not answering the door to his son and his friend because they wanted to ask me about my 3-legged cat Confused Shock
He was really nasty, shouting very loud and swearing. He does have form for being a twat.
Why do some people make it so hard for everyone else? I told him not to shout at me and tried to close the window, unfortunately his arm was stopping me from closing it so I just left the room.
Bit shaken up to be honest, not being unreasonable am I?

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 02/05/2021 23:01

Time for the OP to respond to some replies. Unless they don’t want to . Grin

Jumpers268 · 02/05/2021 23:03

@Ideasplease322

People arguing you should have answered the door clearly don’t work from home. I spend most of my day in meetings - often presenting or chairing. I can’t get up and answer the door. I am sometime beaming live into court.

People at the door can see me - in corn cases I can he store that I can’t come to the door, but not always.

Children should know they can’t demand adults attention. If it’s not convenient to answer the door you don’t have to.

I work from home and I don't answer the door when I'm working. Very different to not answering the door "because I don't want to". Which, again, IS FINE.
JustFedUpOfThis · 02/05/2021 23:03

I wonder if the OP would have had same answers if she’d said

“my husband was working and saw a couple of kids at the door laughing and giggling. They rang the bell but he was working so didn’t answer. I told him he was a bit of a knob for not answering. He says IABU”

How many responses would have said “yes your husband was a knob”. Not many I think.

OP - 100% YANBU from me. And your neighbour is an aggressive twat who is no doubt teaching his son to be an aggressive twat too sadly.

SeaTurtles92 · 02/05/2021 23:03

@Sparklingbrook

Time for the OP to respond to some replies. Unless they don’t want to . Grin
She better get off her arse and answer some of us Grin.
Jumpers268 · 02/05/2021 23:05

@Sparklingbrook I'm starting the think that the point of the post was to get everyone riled up 😂😂😂.

AutomaticMoon · 02/05/2021 23:05

@Justcallmebebes I don’t understand the entitlement, why is one obliged to open the door just because someone knocks? Some people are disabled & it’s not easy for everyone to run to the door every time there’s someone there. They can leave a note if it’s important or call ahead. I work night shifts & sleep in the day. According to you, O should never sleep in case I have to open the door? You’re the bizarre one, not OP

PattyPan · 02/05/2021 23:05

Yanbu
I don’t answer the door while I’m working either unless it’s a parcel I’m expecting which takes no time at all whereas talking about your cat could have taken ages.

Sparklingbrook · 02/05/2021 23:06

[quote Jumpers268]@Sparklingbrook I'm starting the think that the point of the post was to get everyone riled up 😂😂😂.[/quote]
Bingo! Grin

StoneofDestiny · 02/05/2021 23:06

We need one of these

I think my neighbour is a cheeky fucker aibu?
Sn0tnose · 02/05/2021 23:07

Your attitude has probably rubbed him up the wrong way. Not saying it excuses it, but it possibly explains it Are you serious? Her ‘attitude’ may well have rubbed him up the wrong way. So fucking what? That doesn’t go anywhere near explaining why he thought it was appropriate to stick his arm through his neighbours window and shout at her until she was forced to leave her own room because he wouldn’t let her shut the window.

My point was that it's not a very friendly attitude and I would suspect that is why there is issues between her and this neighbour Yeah, I’m sure it was the OP not wanting to be his mate that caused this. Nothing at all to do with him having a history of being a dickhead or being the sort of man that thinks it’s ok to do something like this. Not at all. It must have been the OP not waving hello in the morning. She’s at the root of his behaviour. She should be ashamed of herself. 🙄

TurquoiseDragon · 02/05/2021 23:07

@tuttifuckinfruity

Yes, he was out of order, but you don't sound like you have a great attitude either to be honest.

Sometimes I can't answer my door if I'm on a call. But your "I didn't answer the door because I didn't want to" is shitty. They are little boys!

Your attitude has probably rubbed him up the wrong way. Not saying it excuses it, but it possibly explains it.

So what if it rubbed him up the wrong way? OP is not obliged to answer the door if she doesn't want to.
Cheeseandlobster · 02/05/2021 23:07

@Ideasplease322

People arguing you should have answered the door clearly don’t work from home. I spend most of my day in meetings - often presenting or chairing. I can’t get up and answer the door. I am sometime beaming live into court.

People at the door can see me - in corn cases I can he store that I can’t come to the door, but not always.

Children should know they can’t demand adults attention. If it’s not convenient to answer the door you don’t have to.

This is quite an extreme example. Most people are not in court. I wfh most days as a Qualified Allied Health Professional. I attend safeguarding and mdt's and I could still excuse myself for 2 mins. I am not saying its ideal but I would rather do this than have kids persistently ringing my bell or have to deal with what the op is dealing with. They were 6 or 7 so still little boys No need for the whole " I didnt want to answer the door". It takes 2 mins max to say I am busy. I am working. Please dont ring again
AutomaticMoon · 02/05/2021 23:07

OP, you’re not bizarre, people are too entitled & have no boundaries & they think everyone else should be just like them 😖

OnceUponAMidnightBeery · 02/05/2021 23:08

[quote tuttifuckinfruity]@OnceUponAMidnightBeery - Nope. Not answering the door because you are busy is very different to not answering the door because "I didn't want to." That's the attitude I'm talking about. [/quote]
As OP hasn’t clarified if they were wfh or working at home we can’t really make a judgement on that.

Given that you’ve already said OP has a right not to answer their door if they don’t want to (as they do) then I guess we may not be far from a similar view?

To return to the most important point, OP your neighbour is still an aggressive twat. And his behaviour is definitely not acceptable.

Sparklingbrook · 02/05/2021 23:08

I want to know about the 3 legged cat more than anything.

memberofthewedding · 02/05/2021 23:08

I dont answer the door if Im working. End of. Not to the Queen or the Pope of Rome. If I was in an office working they could not disturb me there so why should they be able to do it if im at home?

No one is obliged to open the door to any random person.

I would ring the non emergency police number and say that you were made to feel threatened and vulnerable by your neighbour and ask for the community police to call and have a word. I had them call once when my neighbour and another man were yelling at me because I would not allow them to access my property. I made a meal of how I was a vulnerable elderly female and how threatened I felt. The community police called next day and told him that if this happened again they would issue him with a PIN forbidding him to approach me. Just lay it on a bit thick.

Guavafish · 02/05/2021 23:08

I would have called the police! Scary situation especially the fact he didn’t let you close your own window!

YummyButter · 02/05/2021 23:08

@Cheeseandlobster

They were age 6 or 7 so little boys really? Would it have hurt you to open the door for 2 mins then you would probably be having a better night now? The neighbour was an arse for shouting and swearing though
@Cheeseandlobster Way to blame the victim
Jumpers268 · 02/05/2021 23:09

@Sparklingbrook

I want to know about the 3 legged cat more than anything.
So intrigued about the cat. How is the cat.
AutomaticMoon · 02/05/2021 23:10

@TurquoiseDragon Completely baffling, this attitude of entitlement at someone’s door 😖 the poor little boys are probably traumatised because the neighbour didn’t open the door. What about the 3 legged cat? We need to know about him too

PhilCornwall1 · 02/05/2021 23:10

@PattyPan

Yanbu I don’t answer the door while I’m working either unless it’s a parcel I’m expecting which takes no time at all whereas talking about your cat could have taken ages.
To be fair it could have been a short conversation.

"Excuse me Mrs, why has your cat only got 3 legs?"

"Because it kept knocking on my door and asking stupid questions. Now run away while you still can!!..."

StoneofDestiny · 02/05/2021 23:11

I want to know about the 3 legged cat more than anything

It's now 2 legged due to actions of aggressive neighbour.

AutomaticMoon · 02/05/2021 23:13

@memberofthewedding I’m glad you were able to get the police to help, good on you 👍 the police in my area are derelict in their duty of care & just claim the council has to deal with antisocial behaviour even though the law says it’s the job of the police 😣

AutomaticMoon · 02/05/2021 23:13

@StoneofDestiny 😂

OnceUponAMidnightBeery · 02/05/2021 23:14

@Sparklingbrook I am holding my breath in anticipation for it to appear in an online paper of an update. It’s keeping my insomnia amused however 🤷🏻‍♀️