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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I think my neighbour is a cheeky fucker aibu?

371 replies

SiliconHeaven · 02/05/2021 22:00

I was working at my computer earlier today, my ‘office’ is at the front of the house and I was sat by the open window. Two boys came to my door, a neighbour and his friend, aged about 6 or 7. I saw them pass the window and I could hear them giggling and chatting. They rang the doorbell and knocked on the door. I didn’t answer it because I didn’t want to.
Short while later the neighbour dad came to my open window and started shouting at me about how rude I was not answering the door to his son and his friend because they wanted to ask me about my 3-legged cat Confused Shock
He was really nasty, shouting very loud and swearing. He does have form for being a twat.
Why do some people make it so hard for everyone else? I told him not to shout at me and tried to close the window, unfortunately his arm was stopping me from closing it so I just left the room.
Bit shaken up to be honest, not being unreasonable am I?

OP posts:
pigandmonkey · 03/05/2021 16:43

I don't always answer the door, sometimes I don't answer the phone and there are times I don't answer DH if he's being an arse. I think I'm normal and OP sounds normal to me. Her neighbour was bvu.

Jumpers268 · 03/05/2021 16:49

@Sparklingbrook

Love the cat pics. Smile
Yay for cat pictures! Made my day!
WhereYouLeftIt · 03/05/2021 16:57

"I don't really know anyone who makes a drama out of such things. Even if they did decide not to answer the door for their own reasons, I can't think of anyone I know who would need to start a thread on a public forum, in order to validate such a non event."

Seriously @WorraLiberty, you think OP started this thread over the non-event of not answering the door?

I could swear it was because she was shaken by her aggressive neighbour shouting and swearing at her and physically blocking her from closing her window against him.

Do you often make sweeping statements that paint you into a corner, and prefer to double down on it rather than acknowledge you had somewhat missed the point of the thread?

Wildswimming3 · 03/05/2021 19:08

Lovely cat op, lost our tabby in 2019.

FinallyHere · 03/05/2021 19:29

Would it have hurt you to open the door for 2 mins then you would probably be having a better night now

Knocking on the door is an invitation to have it answered. It includes no right whatsoever to have it answered.

What right do the neighbours have to take up her time and attention?Absolutely none.

OP was busy. That's all.

ripples101 · 03/05/2021 19:56

What if the kids were “insert you t own imaginary scenario here in order to deem the OP unreasonable”.

The responses to this thread - the ones being critical of the OP - are pathetic.

What isn’t pathetic is those who have actually managed to focus on the actual problem here.

That being the absolute twat of a man who abused the OP.

To bring it down to the ABIU, He was Unreasonable.

stackemhigh · 03/05/2021 21:44

And OP has clarified that the kids couldn’t see she was in.

Original poster
SiliconHeaven · 03/05/2021 21:57

@stackemhigh

But you must have had an inkling you mighthave been unreasonable. Hence the thread.

More likely due to being shaken up by a man refusing to move his arm from her window, who is known to be loud mouthed and inconsiderate.

I didn’t think I was being unreasonable, I thought I might be unreasonable in thinking he was being a cheeky fucker.
OP posts:
Original poster
SiliconHeaven · 03/05/2021 22:03

@BlackMarauder

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.
Ooh, a deleted post on my thread. What did they say? Grin
OP posts:
amusedtodeath1 · 03/05/2021 23:57

To the posters criticising OP for not opening the door...

May your next shit be a hedgehog Grin. (taken from the best comeback thread)

Nith · 04/05/2021 00:47

I can't imagine EVER not answering my door if I hear someone knocking

Even if you were working and on an important phone or Zoom call?

Nith · 04/05/2021 00:53

I don't really know anyone who makes a drama out of such things. Even if they did decide not to answer the door for their own reasons, I can't think of anyone I know who would need to start a thread on a public forum, in order to validate such a non event.

A man coming to your open window and shouting and swearing at you and preventing you from closing the window is a non-event? You must lead a very dramatic life, @WorraLiberty

UnlimitedChipsAndSalsa · 04/05/2021 08:49

I know OP was not asking about opinions on the door thing but I just can't let this go! Smile

To the people who think it's rude to not answer the door (excluding emergencies, which this was not), why?? Someone comes to your private residence uninvited and unannounced. Why do you think it's okay for them to demand your time and attention? If it's not an inconvenience, the door gets answered. If it is an inconvenience (for ANY reason), it doesn't, and the person at the door understands that it's not a good time. Am I missing something? Or do random people on the doorstep now get to dictate how we spend our time at home?

Sparklingbrook · 04/05/2021 08:57

OP's situation aside, the amount of people on MN who claim to never answer the door under any circumstances they might as well brick it up.

DoubleTweenQueen · 04/05/2021 09:27

I don't think anyone has said they would 'never open the door, under any circumstances' !!!!

Jobsharenightmare · 04/05/2021 09:36

It's pretty obvious from the OP they weren't in an emergency. You're working from home and even if not have no obligation to open the door!

fairycakes1234 · 04/05/2021 09:43

@Honeyroar

You were pretty horrible to the children, but he was a complete nutter!
what?????
Sparklingbrook · 04/05/2021 09:46

@DoubleTweenQueen

I don't think anyone has said they would 'never open the door, under any circumstances' !!!!
Well the tiny handful of circumstances they would makes it hardly worth having one. Grin
yellowsubmarines · 04/05/2021 09:47

I can't understand this 'you must answer your door'. Confused

I work at home during the day mostly in zoom meetings or on the phone and I can't imagine saying 'Sorry everyone can you hold on for a minute there are some giggling children at my door.' I can just see the look on my boss and client's faces. Shock Angry

I think he was bang out of order coming through your window OP and also for screaming at you. If he has some issue with your cat then why not speak to you himself instead of sending his small children and child's friend over? If the kids were just asking you about your cat then he's unreasonable thinking you should be available whenever they turn up at your door.

It's your home, your door, you choose when you open it and who you let in. Lovely cat by the way! Smile

Sparklingbrook · 04/05/2021 09:58

I don't do a job that can be done from home but if I did I would probably be fashioning some sort of sign for next to the doorbell to stop anyone ringing unless an emergency. Or get a Ring doorbell.

LakieLady · 04/05/2021 10:17

I often don't answer the door when I'm working. If I'm in the middle of something complex, an interruption can completely disrupt my train of thought and it takes me ages to get back into it after being disturbed.

OP isn't BU at all, but the neighbour shouting and swearing was BVU and poking his arm through the window was creepy and invasive. I think I would have found that quite threatening, and I would report via 101.

The police would probably send a PCSO round to have a chat with him (our police are very good with regard to neighbour issues/ASB) and explain that it's unacceptable and that he shouldn't do it again.

But then I live in a quiet, low crime area so they have the time to do that sort of thing.

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