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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I think my neighbour is a cheeky fucker aibu?

371 replies

SiliconHeaven · 02/05/2021 22:00

I was working at my computer earlier today, my ‘office’ is at the front of the house and I was sat by the open window. Two boys came to my door, a neighbour and his friend, aged about 6 or 7. I saw them pass the window and I could hear them giggling and chatting. They rang the doorbell and knocked on the door. I didn’t answer it because I didn’t want to.
Short while later the neighbour dad came to my open window and started shouting at me about how rude I was not answering the door to his son and his friend because they wanted to ask me about my 3-legged cat Confused Shock
He was really nasty, shouting very loud and swearing. He does have form for being a twat.
Why do some people make it so hard for everyone else? I told him not to shout at me and tried to close the window, unfortunately his arm was stopping me from closing it so I just left the room.
Bit shaken up to be honest, not being unreasonable am I?

OP posts:
Jumpers268 · 02/05/2021 23:15

@StoneofDestiny

I want to know about the 3 legged cat more than anything

It's now 2 legged due to actions of aggressive neighbour.

😂😂😂😂😂😂
AutomaticMoon · 02/05/2021 23:16

@YummyButter great username! The boys probably need therapy now, to deal with the trauma of knocking & nobody answering

maddening · 02/05/2021 23:16

Yanbu on both not answering the door to dc, it was clearly not an emergency, you are not obliged.

Yanbu that the neighbour in a fucking prick, I don't know how you should address it going forward, on one side he should be made aware that his behaviour was unacceptable, but he does not appear to be the type of person that can have any reasonable reaction to such a conversation, I doubt he has any shame about what he has done.

Sparklingbrook · 02/05/2021 23:16

I hope they weren’t going to ask ‘do you know where you 3 legged cat is?’ Because they had seen it in mortal peril Sad

UnlimitedChipsAndSalsa · 02/05/2021 23:17

Cut out the middle man. Train the cat to answer the door. Problem solved. Also, the cat is allowed to scratch any appendage that comes through the window.

PattyPan · 02/05/2021 23:18

@PhilCornwall1 Grin

Flibbitygibbit · 02/05/2021 23:18

I want to know about the cat as well!

Cherrysoup · 02/05/2021 23:18

So I should have asked 30 kids to wait while I answered the door to the neighbour’s bored 6 year old? Don’t think so! I was either live teaching or in a meeting during lockdown, no way was I going to stop mid lesson to answer the door to a giggling kid! Utterly ridiculous.

Sparklingbrook · 02/05/2021 23:19

Was the OP teaching?

blacksax · 02/05/2021 23:19

I didn't answer it because I didn't want to

Confused
GreyhoundG1rl · 02/05/2021 23:20

Why does it matter what the op was doing?

Sparklingbrook · 02/05/2021 23:21

OP said they were working. It’s a Sunday so probably not teaching then.

MyDogIsDrivingMeMad · 02/05/2021 23:22

OP doesn't have to answer the door if she doesn't want to. She happened to be working, but even if she'd been sitting on the sofa reading or painting her nails, she has no obligation to answer the door. Hmm

Maybe most people would answer the door, but not everyone would, and that's fine. It's rude to send your children over to knock on a neighbour's door for no good reason, when they aren't expected. If they come back sad that she didn't answer, the correct thing to do is to explain to them that she must have been busy, some people don't like unexpected visitors, etc., and move on. Going over and confronting her was over the top. It sounds like he was being threatening.

Sparklingbrook · 02/05/2021 23:22

Well in the absence of any further revelations I’m off to bed.

BlackMarauder · 02/05/2021 23:23

OP you've done nothing wrong by refusing to stop working so you can answer nonsense question from kids. But then again some men (women from this thread) assume that being in possession of a vagina means you should be on call to entertain children. Even those that haven't sprung from your loins. No one would expect a man to put up with this shit. Handmaids out in full force. I wonder if the women attacking you for working are housewives who see nothing wrong with stopping a task to entertain the neighborhood kids.

doublehalo · 02/05/2021 23:24

@Cheeseandlobster

They were age 6 or 7 so little boys really? Would it have hurt you to open the door for 2 mins then you would probably be having a better night now? The neighbour was an arse for shouting and swearing though
She didn't want to.

The End.

OhRene · 02/05/2021 23:25

Normally I think people who won't answer their door (that I've only ever seen on MN) are rude. However, this is different. The OP was working and did not need to interrupt her day to cater to the whims of two small children.
In fact, I've told my own children just this week that it's 2021. If their mates want them, they can effing well text or phone my 14, 11 and 9 year olds instead of knocking my door every 5 'effing minutes to be repeatedly told "I'm coming out later" "I'm still having my tea" or "no, I'm not coming out tonight" and just coming back minutes later to ask again. (Oh the joys of living directly facing the local park)
I'm actually thinking of putting a lock on the front garden gate for some peace.

MyDogIsDrivingMeMad · 02/05/2021 23:26

Handmaids out in full force. I wonder if the women attacking you for working are housewives who see nothing wrong with stopping a task to entertain the neighborhood kids.

Well, I'm a housewife, and I wouldn't dream of answering the door to entertain someone else's children (unless their parent was someone I liked and had very politely asked beforehand). Housewives have things to do, too, contrary to popular belief.

HalzTangz · 02/05/2021 23:28

@LagunaBubbles

Well obviously hes a nutter but normal people tend to answer their door when it's chapped. Confused
I disagree, I'm working from home and only answer door for deliveries. Everyone else can go whistle
GreyhoundG1rl · 02/05/2021 23:28

No one would expect a man to put up with this shit. Handmaids out in full force. I wonder if the women attacking you for working are housewives who see nothing wrong with stopping a task to entertain the neighborhood kids.
Absolutely. The added "it's Sunday, so you certainly weren't teaching" was a bizarre added extra.

UnlimitedChipsAndSalsa · 02/05/2021 23:30

@MyDogIsDrivingMeMad

OP doesn't have to answer the door if she doesn't want to. She happened to be working, but even if she'd been sitting on the sofa reading or painting her nails, she has no obligation to answer the door. Hmm

Maybe most people would answer the door, but not everyone would, and that's fine. It's rude to send your children over to knock on a neighbour's door for no good reason, when they aren't expected. If they come back sad that she didn't answer, the correct thing to do is to explain to them that she must have been busy, some people don't like unexpected visitors, etc., and move on. Going over and confronting her was over the top. It sounds like he was being threatening.

^ So we'll put.

I've got to wonder what exactly the dad was shouting (other than expletives). "How DARE you not answer the door when my kid NEEDED to ask about your three-legged cat!"

UnlimitedChipsAndSalsa · 02/05/2021 23:31

*well put, that is

ArcheryAnnie · 02/05/2021 23:32

@SakuraEdenSwan1

Answer the door then instead of being rude and ignorant to children.
I'm sure the thread has moved on, but I just don't understand this kind of post. "Ignorant"? How the bloody hell is not answering the door "ignorant"? Words mean things.

(It wasn't rude, either, but at least that had meaning.)

MoominFeatures · 02/05/2021 23:32

Wtf?! I don’t understand all those posters saying you were being rude - for all your neighbour knew, you were working/on the phone/having a poo/(heaven forbid) living your life when the kids called by...

Your neighbour sounds barmy.

RichPetunia · 02/05/2021 23:33

You should have answered your door to the kids. Pretty ridiculous that you didn’t and makes you seem selfish and ignorant. I’m quite puzzled by your (in)action to be honest.