I think my neighbour is a cheeky fucker aibu?

[SiliconHeaven]

I was working at my computer earlier today, my ‘office’ is at the front of the house and I was sat by the open window. Two boys came to my door, a neighbour and his friend, aged about 6 or 7. I saw them pass the window and I could hear them giggling and chatting. They rang the doorbell and knocked on the door. I didn’t answer it because I didn’t want to.
Short while later the neighbour dad came to my open window and started shouting at me about how rude I was not answering the door to his son and his friend because they wanted to ask me about my 3-legged cat
He was really nasty, shouting very loud and swearing. He does have form for being a twat.
Why do some people make it so hard for everyone else? I told him not to shout at me and tried to close the window, unfortunately his arm was stopping me from closing it so I just left the room.
Bit shaken up to be honest, not being unreasonable am I?

@dodobookends

I once went and knocked on my neighbour's door. I knew they were in, I could see them moving around. They didn't answer.

Oh well, their loss. I only wanted to tell them their outbuilding was on fire.

Presumably you phoned the fire brigade?

I often don't answer my door. Or answer the phone. My home, my life and my choice when and if I talk to others. Full stop.

Well let’s see, if you had kids at home and they went round to knock on the door of a man who was working from home, and said man ignored them, because he’s working, would you go round and scream at him for it? How many of the people calling you rude, would support your reaction? It would be zero, because the man would be doing a Big Important Job.
I’ve seen posts on here about keeping a man’s own children away from him when he’s working, yet women are expected to entertain random neighbours kids it seems.

I wouldn't have opened the door if I was working from home either. I'm a nurse and When I work from home it's to triage. I'm not going to answer the door when I've got palliative calls coming in for pain relief etc, actual important things to be sorted. I'm also a mum to similar age children and I wouldn't allow them to knock on my neighbours doors to disturb them either.

@SeaTurtles92

Should have shut the window on his arm then his son could talk about his one armed dad. Dick.

😂😂😂😂😂 Brilliant 😭😭😭😭

The OP was not being unreasonable to not answer the door. ‘I was working’ and ‘I didn’t want to’ are both valid reasons.

If my young child came home and said ‘Went to ask neighbour about her cat. She was there but she didn’t answer the door’ I would tell them off for disturbing her, not go round there demanding to know why she didn’t respond to them.

That's exactly what I was thinking too Naunet, I agree wholeheartedly.

Besides which a woman has been verbally assaulted and physically intimidated in her own home by a Man. That is unacceptable.

Really? Normal people answer the door? Horrible to the children?
They were giggling, it wasn’t an emergency.
Let’s be honest, I don’t think I was being unreasonable and I am amused by some of the reasons why you think I was.

Im kind of used to the neighbourhood kids chapping my door, usually for can I have my ball back please? I get on with my neighbours kids. So I would have answered the door. However, the man that came to your door was really out of order. Im not sure legally if he has done anything wrong, but if the boys had been my children and a neighbour didn't answer the door, I would have assumed neighbour was busy. I certainly would not have went around on a big sweary rant having a row with my neighbour. That man is definitely to be ignored/avoided at all costs, what kind of an example was he setting those children?

Can't believe the answers on here.

I answer my door when I choose to. It is a free country last time I checked. If someone is shouting 'help' I have a moral duty to respond. If someone wants to chat to me when I am working, I don't.

Lots of people who WFH ignore the door during working hours. I think those who can't understand why this might be don't have responsible jobs. It is disruptive to break off from your work just because someone wants a chat. Not everyone who WFH feels this way but many people doing tough jobs at home do.

Irrespective of whether the OP was right or wrong to ignore the door - the person who shouted was categorically in the wrong and committed, IMO, a reportable offence of harassment.

Definition of harassment is: Harassment is unwanted behaviour which you find offensive or which makes you feel intimidated or humiliated.

Details from the OP: He was really nasty, shouting very loud and swearing. and I told him not to shout at me and tried to close the window, unfortunately his arm was stopping me from closing it so I just left the room.

That behaviour is clearly intimidating.

Sorry I didn’t respond last night, I had a date with a bottle of Prosecco and line of duty (which was a bit disappointing but that’s another thread)
There’s a lot of arguing about whether you are ‘allowed’ to not answer the door if you don’t want to (for whatever reason) I don’t think either side is going to change their mind.
The ‘victim blaming’ is horrible.
For people who really need to know, I wasn’t in full view of the children, I saw them pass by the window. The dad was looking for me, he came up to the window and stuck his head through it.
I’m not going to keep the poor cat inside.
I haven’t personally had an issue with the neighbour but others have. They are very loud, the whole family lives at full volume, loud pumping music, lots of shouting. They seem to spend a lot of their time outside the front of their house and all talk very loudly.

@Beautiful3

I would have answered the door That was rude as you weren't busy. However he should have just spoken to you about it, instead of shouting.

Where do you get the idea that OP wasn't busy? She quite clearly says she was working.

However, it is pretty rude to let your children go round and disturb your working neighbours just to ask some inane question about her pet.

YANBU and he sounds like an idiot.
When we we were kids if you were knocking on a grown ups door asking inane questions you'd have been told by your parents to stop being a nuisance!
I'd tell my kids the same too.. The amount of people on this thread who think you have to drop everything and answer the door to bored kids interrupting your day for no reason is bizarre!
Im probably biased though as we have a few kids here who are an absolute nuisance with it.

You are perfectly entitled to answer your own door when/if/ you want too, neighbours in the wrong here.

Pic

I don't get the Mumsnet thing of not answering the door but he was very unreasonable.

I wfh from home and can't understand why people can never be disturbed. When I worked in the office I was constantly interrupted.

Your cat looks absolutely adorable. Bless him.

Is this some kind of Joke? Not you OP, but some of the responses.

I agree.
This has got to be one of the weirdest threads I’ve ever read!

If someone knocks on your door you don’t HAVE to answer it.

It’s quite worrying that some posters think that you have to answer the door regardless of what you’re doing. I wonder if they’re the type of people that just do what they’re told and have no voice for themselves.
When I was young we used to get a lot of JW and debt collectors and we’d always have to lie on the floor and be really quiet

You do not have to answer the door if you don’t want to!!

Should have shut the window on his arm then his son could talk about his one armed dad. Dick.

😂😂😂

Ahh and here we see a woman being reprimanded for not dropping everything to answer the door to children. The woman is clearly labelled mean and chastised for not putting others before herself, even in the event of being harassed by a male. The woman clearly shouldn’t have been working but instead tending to the home and any children that decided they were entitled to interrupt her day.

Naunet

I agree.

Do people not know it’s a women’s job to open the door whenever it’s knocked on?

It’s more important for her to answer the door to kids than it is doing her own work which is why the guy came and had a go.
I wonder if he’d have a go if OP was a man

What a gorgeous cat! X

Hes a twat. Hope your ok.

You were working so within your rights to not answer the door. Anyone saying otherwise is just trying to wind you up, don't let it