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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I think my neighbour is a cheeky fucker aibu?

371 replies

SiliconHeaven · 02/05/2021 22:00

I was working at my computer earlier today, my ‘office’ is at the front of the house and I was sat by the open window. Two boys came to my door, a neighbour and his friend, aged about 6 or 7. I saw them pass the window and I could hear them giggling and chatting. They rang the doorbell and knocked on the door. I didn’t answer it because I didn’t want to.
Short while later the neighbour dad came to my open window and started shouting at me about how rude I was not answering the door to his son and his friend because they wanted to ask me about my 3-legged cat Confused Shock
He was really nasty, shouting very loud and swearing. He does have form for being a twat.
Why do some people make it so hard for everyone else? I told him not to shout at me and tried to close the window, unfortunately his arm was stopping me from closing it so I just left the room.
Bit shaken up to be honest, not being unreasonable am I?

OP posts:
AmazingGrapes · 03/05/2021 08:21

So interesting to read this thread - such polarised opinions on the door opening issue/engaging with kids.

My own view: you should be as polite to kids as you would be to anyone else. They are people.

But having said that, do you have to open the door if it’s knocked? No, absolutely not. Your home is the one place you’re allowed to do things your way within reason. And not opening the door when you’re otherwise engaged/don’t fancy it is definitely within reason. And it’s not rude.

gurglebelly · 03/05/2021 08:28

But your "I didn't answer the door because I didn't want to" is shitty. They are little boys!

Who shouldn't be wandering around on their own, annoying the neighbours for stupid reasons

UnlimitedChipsAndSalsa · 03/05/2021 08:29

How are some people not getting this yet? The children demanded the OP's time and attention (by knocking on the door unsolicited). It is the OP's choice whether or not to give in to that demand, and it's not rude to decide not to.

Of course the police have more serious matters to deal with, but this man was aggressively shouting and swearing at OP and while doing so he entered her home without permission (albeit just his arm) and prevented her from closing the window and securing her property. OP did nothing wrong. [As I said before, reporting it might not be the right move, but OP would certainly be within their rights to do so.]

KatherineJaneway · 03/05/2021 08:32

But your "I didn't answer the door because I didn't want to" is shitty. They are little boys!

So what? Just because they are kids the OP has to do what they want?

5zeds · 03/05/2021 08:37

I think I’d call the police. Of course you don’t have to answer the door if someone rings the bell. Someone shouting at you and sticking their arm in your window is outrageous behaviour.

steff13 · 03/05/2021 08:39

how is not answering the door "ignorant"? I genuinely want to know. It just isn't a word that works with this circumstance, whatever you may feel about the OP's actions.

I wonder about this too. Maybe there's concern that the OP doesn't actually understand how a door works? Thus, ignorant.

hardboiledeggs · 03/05/2021 08:42

If your working your working. He’s a nutter, I’d report him tbh

eatsleepread · 03/05/2021 08:47

It's weird not to answer the door, but his behaviour was totally unacceptable.

Jennifer2021 · 03/05/2021 08:49

I'm confused how the OP was rude to the children by not answering the door. They were working.

BrumBoo · 03/05/2021 08:50

I cannot believe the amount of people saying the op was mean not to open the door to some cheeky young children. I'd have told mine off for bothering people at home, especially at the moment. Many people are still working from home or even possibly on Covid self isolation, unless it was absolutely necessary then they shouldn't have been anywhere near the OPs house.

I really shouldn't be surprised though, often on MN you see people defending how their precious darlings should be allowed to walk on other people's walls, through their gardens, pet their animals, take snow off their cars in winter, without care or consequence....

Operasinger · 03/05/2021 08:51

@Honeyroar

You were pretty horrible to the children, but he was a complete nutter!
That’s completely OTT. At any time we can choose who to answer our door to. Furthermore, we could be on the loo, in the shower, having a nap, at a crucial point with cooking something, the list goes on and on.
motherloaded · 03/05/2021 08:52

@Honeyroar

You were pretty horrible to the children, but he was a complete nutter!
are you on the wrong thread? The OP did absolutely nothing wrong!

Some people WORK and don't have the luxury to casually stop every 5 minutes to potter and chat around?

Would you be happy if your dentist or your GP stopped mid appointment to chat with the neighbours kids?! Confused Only on MN...

fluffydinosaur21 · 03/05/2021 08:53

YANBU. I wouldn't either.
Your neighbour is seriously deranged.

Wildswimming3 · 03/05/2021 08:54

@snowdropsandcrocuses

I regularly ignore phone calls and the door if I'm not in the mood to talk. It's nobody's business what I choose to do. As if people are so entitled as to say you have to come to your own front door! Mumsnet is the strangest place.
Me too, sometimes I hide upstairs as well 😂
amusedtodeath1 · 03/05/2021 08:55

Is this some kind of Joke? Not you OP, but some of the responses.

Fuck that shit people, if someone chooses to knock at my door and I don't want to answer it I won't. Oooh the cosmic gods of "the nice people" will come and haunt me for having some fucking autonomy.

Fuck the fuck right off. OP was abused in her own home for the crime of......working.

Call the Police please OP, that sound very scary, your neighbor is an asshole of the highest proportions. Flowers

Lollypop4 · 03/05/2021 08:56

I'd call the police. vile behaviour

Jennifer2021 · 03/05/2021 08:58

My own view: you should be as polite to kids as you would be to anyone else. They are people.

I always am. I was even polite to my CFN's little darling when they were swearing and shouting at me. Didnt stop their delightful parents from harassing my workmen and threatening me through them to the point I had to call the police. I no longer open the door to anyone uninvited child or not on the advice of the police and the OP doesn't have to either.
So many people are still working from home and she doesn't have to answer the door to anyone she doesn't want to.

Jennifer2021 · 03/05/2021 08:59

OP please call the police and get this incident logged at least. He's a twat.

Naunet · 03/05/2021 09:01

But your "I didn't answer the door because I didn't want to" is shitty. They are little boys!

And?! Did you think the world was meant to revolve around little boys? OP was working, people working from home are not there to provide random little boys with attention.

FreekStar · 03/05/2021 09:02

It's weird behaviour to sit in the window and watch people knocking on your door but not open it! Rude indeed!

amusedtodeath1 · 03/05/2021 09:04

No it's not! Her house, her window, her land they were trespassing on, her JOB. OP is not automatically obligated to entertain other people's kids because Angry Man Dad can't be arsed to entertain them.

SecretSpAD · 03/05/2021 09:07

I thought that on Mumsnet it was compulsory foe any one knocking the door to have made an appointment to do so?

Except when it's kids. Obviously adults should drop what they are doing immediately to pander to random kids who are being annoying.

motherloaded · 03/05/2021 09:08

My own view: you should be as polite to kids as you would be to anyone else. They are people.

Not answering the door is very polite. (even if bothering people when you are not invited is rude).

Telling them to fuck off would have been impolite.

See the difference? Grin

nancywhitehead · 03/05/2021 09:08

@catpoooffender

He sounds awful, but I don't think it was very kind of you to ignore the children. As a PP said, what if they had needed help?
They were giggling and chatting though...? Doesn't sound like they were distressed!

Kids have to learn that the whole world doesn't revolve around them... what is this guy teaching his kids by going around and shouting at his neighbour for not indulging his little darlings? Confused

DoubleTweenQueen · 03/05/2021 09:11

You were working. Your prerogative to answer the door or not. Report the neighbour - completely disgusting and intimidating behaviour.