Losing friends due to who I'm marrying

[coppafeel]

I'm due to marry someone, I hate to use the word 'famous' so I will say someone 'well known' - a D list celeb if you may. We are due to get married in December. Been with him for 2 years and throughout those 2 years I have been lost really good or so I thought, friends.

He is very controversial figure and so many of my friends have opinions about his views and can't even tolerate him for me. I'm at a loss of what to do, my friends were my life and were there for me through all the bad times but they have turned on me since meeting my partner. I can't just not be with the man I love because of their views but I don't understand why they cannot separate his views from me.

What can I do here?

Also Lozza might sing to me and honestly it is the equivalent of nails down a blackboard.

Who was that awful personal trainer who had a big rant about how his success wasn’t anything to do with his white male privilege?

He's dead...

Oh dear. Well at least it's over now. Maybe your friends will have you back if you promise never to go near semi-famous angry celebs again.

If he simply disagreed with the more controversial aspects of BLM (since as abolishing the police and prisons) I doubt you would be losing friends over it. The only explanation I can think is that he disagrees with the core message.

strong views "mainly about race" sounds dubious tbh. Of course people are judged by the company they keep.

Poor Billie. She had to endure Chris Evans and Laurence Fox and work for years with Noel Clarke. At least she got to work with Tennant I suppose.

Marry him, be happy. Are you happy for future dc to share same views?

If you have so many doubts or differences then I strongly advise you reconsider.

I would also consider what your new social circle would be, do his friends/colleagues and so on share the same views? Similarly if you had children together, they would grow up with knowledge of his views/influenced by his views, so you need to think about where you personally stand on matters and whether you want these views to be part of your permanent life.

I think you should make sure you can live with his views before marrying him because from the sounds of it it's going to be very lonely when all your friends have dumped you and his friends probably share the same views.
If it's Lawrence Fox though just one question, why the fuck would you? Odious little man

I know people who have ceased contact with friends for mild rule breaking during Covid. Rightly or wrongly people will reassess their thoughts about you if they really view your future husbands views as abhorrent. They won’t be able to reconcile that you are in love with him. It’s a shame but it happens. I don’t think there is much you can do if you are in love with this man apart from make friends with people who like him.

I think a key way to look at it is wokld you be happy if any children you have held the same views?

Another surrendered wife.

What are his controversial opinions about race? I can't see how opinions of that nature can be anything other than racist.

I dumped a friend because the guy she married had extreme right wing views - he would be a dick all over social media and ram his opinions down your throats at every opportunity. God help it if he’d had a drink.

So yes, I can see why your friends would ditch you if your DP has extreme views (whatever they are) Z list or not.

I would think very carefully about marrying a man who none of my friends could tolerate. IME when someone is universally disliked by your friends it’s a big red flag. Tread carefully op.

@Bigbluebuttons

Who was that awful personal trainer who had a big rant about how his success wasn’t anything to do with his white male privilege?

The one from the SAS show? Anthony someone?

@coppafeel you say in your OP that your friends have "turned on you". It sounds like they've been quite frank about why they don't want to spend time with you anymore. So what did they say / what was their explanation?

Dead? Wasn't there some woman on Breakfast TV who wanted to marry a ghost - was that you?

Although come to think of it, it may have been a goat, A Billy goat gruff

Do you get on with his friends? Could you make a new set of friends out of those if yours have ditched you?

I think the “ celebrity “ thing has got in the way. Like his opinions matter more than if he’s actually a decent human being.

If you were marrying a monster real friends would stick by to have your back. These aren’t real friends. They are worried your partners not cool views will make them look bad, not that they are concerned.

What about his friends if he has any - do you like them? Do they like you?

LF was my first thought too because he did go on some kind of race rant sometime last year. But I thought his then girlfriend dumped him because of it?

@ZoeCM

If he simply disagreed with the more controversial aspects of BLM (since as abolishing the police and prisons) I doubt you would be losing friends over it. The only explanation I can think is that he disagrees with the core message.

I wasn’t overly impressed when supposed supporters (well twits under the banner) held a march and some attended attacked women speaking about woman’s rights at speakers corner.

160 posts in less than an hour. Well done OP! 🤣🤣

I still think it’s Nigel.