Losing friends due to who I'm marrying

[coppafeel]

I'm due to marry someone, I hate to use the word 'famous' so I will say someone 'well known' - a D list celeb if you may. We are due to get married in December. Been with him for 2 years and throughout those 2 years I have been lost really good or so I thought, friends.

He is very controversial figure and so many of my friends have opinions about his views and can't even tolerate him for me. I'm at a loss of what to do, my friends were my life and were there for me through all the bad times but they have turned on me since meeting my partner. I can't just not be with the man I love because of their views but I don't understand why they cannot separate his views from me.

What can I do here?

Googles Stephen Bear
Good god he looks like a burglar
🤣
What can I say?
I love a slim, tanned, tattooed man.

I don’t really understand why you are marrying someone whose strongly held views you don’t even know or understand.

Having googled, Stephen Bear doesn’t exactly fit the facts but he’s the sort of level of “celebrity” I was imagining.

If all my mates hated someone I was getting married to, to the point that they would rather lose my friendship than engage, I would be questioning my choices.

If this is real you're going to have a miserable time of marriage OP

Doesn't sound worth losing out on friends, especially if you have no idea what he thinks / where you stand politically. I mean imagine Hitler's fiancé telling her whatsApp group chat "Adolf said he loves me as much as he loves Germany! Can't wait to marry him girls! xxx"

They reckon that shared political views are one of the biggest indicators of marital harmony, just FYI.

I don't think the OP is coming back

I can’t understand having a group of friends and not trusting their opinion when it matters. Especially when they are all in agreement.

Carrie - the positives are you have an expensively decorated flat now.

I cba to RTWFT but my money is on Laurence Fox or Tommeh.

Please tell us who it is

I wouldn't marry someone my friends disliked to this extent. They probably won't turn up for the wedding, they definitely won't attend important gatherings and celebrations. If you marry him will you be ok without your friends and happy to make new friends??

I too thought Laurence Fox

But anyway who it is doesn't matter.
I would trust my friends.

I’ve just googled and old Lozza Fox appears to be single again while it doesn’t look as though Farage is legally divorced. I’m very intrigued as to who this is, however!

@coppafeel regardless of who he is, your friends know you and have been around for years. Whilst I’m not saying that you should listen to your friends at the exclusion of all else, I would open my ears and be honest with myself about what they’re saying.

@coppafeel, from your posts, I’d say your friends are right. He sounds like a cunt

Apparently Eva Braun's friends weren't too keen i her fiancé but he was kind to her dogs and a vegetarian so not all bad

You must be a pretty rubbish friend tbh. You are dating someone with poor morals and have no interest in politics. I wouldn’t be hanging around either. You’ve shown your true self by the company that you keep.

Whether you are ‘politically minded’ or not, to marry someone with extreme views makes you as bad as him.

Are you happy to have little racist children running around?

How do you get to become an adult with no understanding or interest in politics? Do you have no opinion on anything?

Whether you think we should invest more as a country into healthcare as opposed to schooling is a political view I can discuss, understand and let go of. I can't let go of someone thinking I, as a disabled woman, deserve fewer rights in the workplace, or that my black best friend shouldn't be able to protest against people of his race being murdered at alarming rates, or that children who have poor parents deserve to starve if their parents aren't able to feed them a hot meal every day when we as a country can easily fund a hot meal at school for them. It depends on the views, but I would not be friends with someone who disagrees with my fundamental values and in turn, anybody who supported somebody who actively promoted those views and turned a blind eye to the harm it causes to real people. You're essentially saying 'I don't care enough about these issues or people'.

@VladmirsPoutine

If this is real you're going to have a miserable time of marriage OP

Doesn't sound worth losing out on friends, especially if you have no idea what he thinks / where you stand politically. I mean imagine Hitler's fiancé telling her whatsApp group chat "Adolf said he loves me as much as he loves Germany! Can't wait to marry him girls! xxx"

My sister had a lovely non political friend who married a man who happened to be racist.. then spent an unpleasant dinner party at their house listening to her friend joining in with her husband's racist comments...
My sister was horrified and they are no longer friends.

Watch out OP!!

I don't judge Billie Piper for having Laurence Fox as an ex, because we all know what it's like to have an ex turn out to be A Massive Shit. I would, however, judge someone who wanted to be with Laurence Fox now, because a lot of his lunacy has been revealed.

I couldn't be with someone who had opposing views to me. I would expect to be judged for the views/behaviour of someone I had chosen to be with.

@FrankButchersDickieBow

If all my mates hated someone I was getting married to, to the point that they would rather lose my friendship than engage, I would be questioning my choices.

I agree with this, it is a bit of a red flag generally.

They're weak friendships if they'll drop you over this. I liken it to people who drop a best friend when they have a child.

Some people just get funny about marriage itself or big life changes.

To provoke such a strong reaction from multiple friends then his views must be pretty extreme.

I'm not sure if I would marry a man whom all my friends found intolerable.

Maybe the fault doesn't lie with your friends but with your fiancée OP?

@coppafeel

I wouldn't say his views are abhorrent, but they are strong political views on the complete opposite end of the political spectrum than what my friends are. I'm not very politically minded so his views go over my head and if they were vile they would not. They just have different views but somehow I am being vilified for them. Also no he doesn't say them to be controversial they are just his opinions, however, has received a lot of backlash for them.

How do his views go over your head. They are important, your friends know them.

You lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas. When you marry someone it should be because you love them. Sure you don't have to agree on everything, but you haven't painted a pretty picture of him

@HidingFromTheChildren

They're weak friendships if they'll drop you over this. I liken it to people who drop a best friend when they have a child.

Some people just get funny about marriage itself or big life changes.

Some people just don't like racists.