Page 12 | Losing friends due to who I'm marrying

CaptainMyCaptain · 02/05/2021 16:58

@Crystal90567

Welcome to the new totalitarian state. Don't you know you can only think the societal accepted views! Anything else; brexit, questioning 'me too' and its links to the multi million pound dating industry, believing oil based resistant materials (plastic) are not all evil and are actually a big part of female liberation, GC.... I miss a time when we were allowed to debate. Now you're told the 'set view' and god forbid if you detract from it or even debate it. Socially ostracized, sacked never to work again, and those who cut you off, feel very superior as they throw you to the proverbial gutter. They should look up the definition of bigot: someone who will not accept any opinions other than their own, and take a long look at themselves.

It's nothing to do with a totalitarian state it's to do with who you want to be friends with.

MusicMenu · 02/05/2021 16:58

@PrelovedWithValue

I would love this to be real. I can't imagine anyone close to a celebrity, no matter which list, posting this on a public forum. Not unless details were deliberately misleading, eg there is no wedding and it wasn't about BLM it was about womens rights.

There's just no way someone would post the correct details involving a 'known' person and leave the remotest possibility of figuring out who it is.

But OP has admitted she's very stupid

midsomermurderess · 02/05/2021 16:59

Oh Crystal, get a bloody grip. You are coming across as a total pranny. Ooh, tyranny, ooh woke. The views you hold that you think make you a persecuted minority are held and expressed by well over half of the country. The. biggest selling papers are full of them.

TatianaBis · 02/05/2021 16:59

@accentdusoleil

Ant Middleton

How do you know he's not racist? : has he got black friends Or does he start his sentences "I'm not being racist but.... "

Ant has a wife he cheats on so probably not.

I can’t think of anyone else beside LF who fits the BLM critic Z list intersection. Both are taken (rather incomprehensibly).

CaptainMyCaptain · 02/05/2021 16:59

@UnsolicitedDickPic

I'd love to see the Venn diagram for the people who use the term "woke" alongside the ones who don't believe racism is a thing.

Absolutely. Ditto 'snowflake'.

Tealightsandd · 02/05/2021 16:59

George Osborne is getting married soon...

If it's him, congrats on the pregnancy, OP.

poppycat10 · 02/05/2021 17:02

I agree Crystal.

It's fine not to want to socialise with people who have abhorrent views if they try to stuff them down your throat. But it depends what they are. You can actually see someone and not discuss controversial topics when with them. Or you can, and have a right old ding dong. Actually it would be good if the British were more capable of sensible debate and didn't get offended, and take everything personally, that they don't agree with. You might change their mind. They might change yours. I've learnt things on MN that I didn't know, and hadn't even considered. I've said this before but it's better to debate things than close people down.

I didn't agree with the BLM protests during pandemic but then I realised I was being hypocritical when I was angry with the police response to the Sarah Everard vigil.

Sounds like there's a degree of oversharing with a lot of friendships. I have no idea what my closest friends' husbands think about BLM or even Brexit. I know what they think about it. And I also know that one friend thought the Sarah Everard vigil was wrong. I disagree but I wouldn't stop talking to her. I also disagreed with another friend who voted for Brexit, but we're still friends. There's a reason you stay off politics at civilised dinner parties...

(and L Fox voted to remain)

ChekhovsWorkshoppedShooter · 02/05/2021 17:02

I’d class the appalling Lozza as at least C list to be fair.

Ant Middleton is married.

I suspect the OP is marrying some rent-a-gob off Love Island or Big Brother or whatever and “D-list” is a major overestimate.

Roussette · 02/05/2021 17:04

OP... could you let us know when the wedding is?

Because then I can check Twitter and see if it is him! Perhaps it's when Thursday's mayoral election when he's soundly languishing behind Peter Gammons of UKIP (yes, that is his name) and Count Binface..... is over and the wedding can then be planned.

SpeedRunParent · 02/05/2021 17:04

@Merryoldgoat

I’ve found the best sort of people can be friends with anyone and everyone. From their neighbours to having old friends to being able to chat to the barman. The worst sorts always have cliquey echo chambers.

This is rubbish. Being affable and able to find common ground with many is a great quality. Ignoring significant defects like racism, sexism, misogyny etc is amoral.

Hear hear! It only takes good people to stand by for evil to flourish.

ballsdeep · 02/05/2021 17:05

Am I the only one googling Lawrence fox girlfriend?!

coodawoodashooda · 02/05/2021 17:06

Yeah you are judged by the company you keep.

SpeedRunParent · 02/05/2021 17:07

"TheWinterOfDiscontebt

I’ve found the best sort of people can be friends with anyone and everyone. From their neighbours to having old friends to being able to chat to the barman.
The worst sorts always have cliquey echo chambers."

I disagree entirely. To stay silent benefits no one but the oppressor.

Keepnamechangin · 02/05/2021 17:07

Who is it?

CaptainMyCaptain · 02/05/2021 17:08

Sounds like there's a degree of oversharing with a lot of friendships. I have no idea what my closest friends' husbands think about BLM or even Brexit. I know what they think about it.
You can ignore it if you don't know about it but the OP's fiance clearly makes his views known.

Voomster953 · 02/05/2021 17:08

Justifies marrying a racist by saying they’re just not ‘politically minded’. Wow. Doesn’t sound like OP has an awful lot going on in their mind at all.

PurpleRainDancer · 02/05/2021 17:08

Prince Andrew?

Branleuse · 02/05/2021 17:09

@coppafeel

I'm due to marry someone, I hate to use the word 'famous' so I will say someone 'well known' - a D list celeb if you may. We are due to get married in December. Been with him for 2 years and throughout those 2 years I have been lost really good or so I thought, friends.

He is very controversial figure and so many of my friends have opinions about his views and can't even tolerate him for me. I'm at a loss of what to do, my friends were my life and were there for me through all the bad times but they have turned on me since meeting my partner. I can't just not be with the man I love because of their views but I don't understand why they cannot separate his views from me.

What can I do here?

What can you do?

get new friends who are a bit more racist?

Or talk to your friends and work out what their problem is. I mean, if its really loads of your friends then I think maybe you ought to have a proper open minded conversation with some of the ones you have left. See what they say. If it was one or two then maybe id consider they were just being intolerant, but if its nearly all of them, maybe its you and him that are the problems.
Theres a saying. If you meet an arsehole one day, then youve met an arsehole. If you meet arseholes all day, then youre the arsehole

SmileyClare · 02/05/2021 17:09

His views are him; they are how he views and treats others

I agree with this. You cannot brush this aside as "Oh I'm not political, I don't talk about politics"

It's hard to comment without knowing his stance but you say his views are extreme, relating to race and covid.

Say for example you started working with a Muslim woman and became firm friends, how would he judge that? One of your children was marrying a black man, came out as gay or had opposing political views to him? Would that mean you'd "lose" your child as you've lost friends?

Your children were due to have covid vaccinations at school. Would he refuse? Would your differing opinion matter?

You need to consider how your husband's extreme views are going to impact your lives. It's laughable to think this will all "go over your head".

userchange856 · 02/05/2021 17:10

Here in the hope someone has some good sleuthing skills to work out who it is!

UCOinanOCG · 02/05/2021 17:11

I think your friends might be on to something. Maybe you should listen to them not marry Mr Tosser Views?

ghostyslovesheets · 02/05/2021 17:12

@Crystal90567

Welcome to the new totalitarian state. Don't you know you can only think the societal accepted views! Anything else; brexit, questioning 'me too' and its links to the multi million pound dating industry, believing oil based resistant materials (plastic) are not all evil and are actually a big part of female liberation, GC.... I miss a time when we were allowed to debate. Now you're told the 'set view' and god forbid if you detract from it or even debate it. Socially ostracized, sacked never to work again, and those who cut you off, feel very superior as they throw you to the proverbial gutter. They should look up the definition of bigot: someone who will not accept any opinions other than their own, and take a long look at themselves.

pmsl - you seem a bit triggered hun x

You can have any view you want dear but we all have the right not to want to be your mate if those views are twatty - hth

Bizawit · 02/05/2021 17:13

get new friends who are a bit more racist?
🤣🤣🤣🤣

hiredandsqueak · 02/05/2021 17:14

@Llyn I'm trying to work out whether Jeremy's ridiculously OTT introduction was because he had no idea what was coming or whether he knew what was coming and hoped the enthusiasm would at least rub off on the audience a bit

Ninibest · 02/05/2021 17:15

If they are your real friend they will be for you for good and bad, let them, now you will be one flesh with your future husband if you love him and he loves you let no one put you apart.