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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu to be so cross about this?

378 replies

Tiredandcross · 02/05/2021 06:46

Have nc'd as outing but regular, long time poster....sistene screamer, penis beaker, Spanish gran etc

Had a huge row with dp last night. I do all...and I mean all....the housework we both work full time. I have not been happy for sometime and have made it very clear he needs to start helping but nothing going.

Three weeks ago I had day surgery. It was minor but can take months to recover. I had 2 weeks off work and spent the first week asleep on the sofa most of the day but was still expected to do dinner etc etc. Back to work last week and yesterday was totally exhausted.

I am menopausal, disturbed by the dogs the night before, and dp snoring. So was also not very friendly to anyone...not rude but not chatty.

He was really off with me during dinner. It was late as I was tired, and had not got my act together very well.

However we always eat at 9 because he likes to game with his mates until then. Last night he had a go as apparently I don't care and spend more time doing stuff for my kids as dinner is getting later and later.

I pointed out that I finish work at 5.30 and by the time I have walked the dogs and got the kids dinner it is 7pm. Then I like to speak to my parents every evening, they are in their 80's and I have seen them once in the last year as they are some distance from me. I also have laundry and housework to do and assist my dc with asd with personal care and school work. So yeah sometimes dinner is late.

He told me I don't care and when I started to get frustrated and upset apparently this meant I knew he was right. I told him no, I'm upset because he is wrong and wasn't letting me talk at which point he told me to stop raising my voice.

I was so upset. I pointed out that I had surgery 3 weeks ago and having been back at work last week am really tired. Not sleeping well either which doesn't help. I pointed out that when he gets in from work he games. I do everything else.

He wouldn't let me talk and I ended up shouting "what did your last servant die of" as I got so frustrated. I shouldn't have shouted but at that point I had had enough.

So now he is sulking as I don't care enough to feed him on time, I never feel like having sex (I'm exhausted and can't just switch it on!) , and shouted at him when he asked me not to (I did ask him at this point to write down how he would like me to behave in future so I don't forget)

I have woken up this morning really upset about the whole thing. Is that all he sees me as? A cook and someone to have sex with? Aibu to feel like this or was I wrong?

OP posts:
Carbara · 06/05/2021 00:03

Your mistake was moving some scummy boyfriend in to your kids home. No need to keep that up, remove him. There’s no need for him to be there, if you feel the need, you can keep dating him but keep that shit away from your kids.

Popetthetreehugger · 08/05/2021 16:07

Carbara I think that’s a bit rich ! Op has been with this guy 8 years ... you can bet he wasn’t like this then . Stop trying to making op appear at fault . She didn’t have a Crystal ball 🔮.

osbertthesyrianhamster · 08/05/2021 20:47

Hope he's been given his marching orders.

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