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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Feel like I’ve failed, 2 year old still in nappies

253 replies

AgnesWeston · 01/05/2021 13:44

DS is 2 years and 7 months.
He hates the potty and won’t entertain a toilet seat cover either.
We’ve tried to talk about him being a big boy, we’ve tried to make it into a game, we’ve bought books about potties and toilet training.

He’s very bright, he recognises every letter of the alphabet already and can tell us the correct phonic sound for each one. He can count 1-10 and recognise each number individually. His speech is fantastic.

So I’m not sure what more we can do?

Thanks for reading!

OP posts:
CatRatSplat · 01/05/2021 18:04

What most won't mention on the socials is that their child is still have accidents etc. Ignore it, your DC is clearly not ready. My DD1 was 4 because she was so interested in the world around her that potty train didn't interest her, when she was ready it was done in a week. DD2 at just turned 2 decided she didn't want to wear nappies anymore so we spent a year chasing her to the toilet as she wasn't quite ready. I know which one I prefer!!😂

delilahbucket · 01/05/2021 18:07

It is too early for him. My son was three before he would even entertain a potty. Too busy running around discovering life 😂

Vooga · 01/05/2021 18:07

My very bright 2 year 7 month girl is in nappies. The more we push the more she fights us so we have to take it slow. It is getting to point where she holds wee for longer and then the wees are big and her nappies are leaking a lot, which is a massive pain. But she has older friends at.nursery who aren't potty trained either

KindnessCrusader · 01/05/2021 18:08

All four of my children have toilet trained after the age of three.

thetwinkletoescollective · 01/05/2021 18:13

I am sure lots of people have said the same thing - but I don't think there is anything unusual at all.

I decided this kind of thing is much better to be child-led, so I tried with my son at 2 years 10 months and he wasn't interested so we stopped. Then just six weeks later - he did it himself. I am not joking, it took a day.

He went into pants during the day and I did a nappy at night a bit longer.
My second son did it a bit earlier but that was because he saw his older brother going to the toilet and he wanted to do the same.

I don't know if this is connected but my friend went through a much more difficult time trying to potty train at 18 months and years later there are wet accidents. Which I never have had.

I think that its better to do it a bit later and in the child's timing than when 'its supposed to happen'.

Pottedpalm · 01/05/2021 18:14

@Monsterjam

Relax, mine were both nearer 4 than 3 when they came out of nappies, they both decided they were not wearing nappies anymore and that was that, no training required (I had definitely left it too late)
I think having your almost 4 year old in nappies is unnecessary. Why pay for nappies for them to pee/poo in when they fully understand what they are doing. It’s like not encouraging them to walk cos, you know, they fall over. Most four year olds, indeed three year olds I know are very capable little people, more than capable of using the toilet.
sollythecat · 01/05/2021 18:16

I would leave it and wait for a couple of months. It's still a very normal age to be wearing nappies. Most children I know were between 2.5-3. I also wouldn't worry too much about the phonics at this age - they will have plenty of time for that at school and learning early doesn't mean they will be any better in the long term.

Aberteifi · 01/05/2021 18:19

My first Ds i found him sitting on the toilet at 2 and a half he didn't wear a nappy during the day after that.
Ds2 it was 6 weeks before he turned 4 i thought he would never get it.
Ds3 he was 3 and a half.
Ds4 he was 2 and a half
I bought a seat that goes on the toilet with steps and two handles on and Ds4 started using it really quickly
DD just copied him and she was dry day and night at just turned 2.
I knew she was ready as she told me every time she had a wee and she took off her nappy straight away.
All i can say is they will do it when they are ready.

2stoneTogo · 01/05/2021 18:20

Don’t worry my 3.5 y is still in nappies he’s just not ready yet and I’m waiting till the summer

Dipi79 · 01/05/2021 18:24

My twin girls were 3 years and 2 months when we started potty training. This was later than a lot of their peers, but life got in the way before this! They took to it really well and I'm glad I didn't pressure them into it any earlier.

99victoria · 01/05/2021 18:26

My grand-daughter has only just come out of nappies - she was 3 in January.

It's much later than when my kids were young. We used to do potty training as soon as they turned 2 so I was a bit surprised when my daughter waited so long but the wisdom changes on these things and I have to say it has been far less stressful with my grand-daughters than it was with my kids. I remember lots of accidents with my kids, carrying a potty around for months on the bottom of the buggy etc. on balance, I think it's probably better to wait.

Jangle33 · 01/05/2021 18:27

He’s not ready... he still tiny.

Is this a stealth boast post...?Confused

House2home21 · 01/05/2021 18:29

Gosh I must have missed the ‘knowing the alphabet’ potty training readiness cue 😂😅. New one on me. I’m thinking of starting my nearly 3 yo....better make sure they’re nailing those phonics!

Seriously OP this is not a problem. Really it’s not. Honestly you’ll all be so much happier if you stop holding yourself to these arbitrary rules that god knows who has made up.....I know easier said than done. I’m guessing you’re stressed because you and your Mum friends think you’re supposed to start potty training bang on 2 and be done and dusted in a few months?

jessycake · 01/05/2021 19:32

Don't stress over it there are no adults without a medical reason or a fetish in nappies

Monsterjam · 01/05/2021 19:37

@Pottedpalm thanks for your unnecessary opinion on my parenting choices

MaryBoBary · 01/05/2021 19:45

My son was 3 when he was potty trained. He is almost 5 and a half, we've gone without nappies overnight since January and he is averaging now at about one wet bed per week.

BeigeFoodLover · 01/05/2021 19:49

My youngest didn’t potty/toilet train until he was 4. It did my head in but I always told myself ‘you never see a grown man going to the bar in a nappy.’

As an aside, he’s (11 and) super clever. I’m not saying this as a brag, more of a reassurance.

NatalieH2220 · 01/05/2021 19:56

Best thing to do is wait. He's not ready yet.

Being bright in other areas has no bearing on potty training ability. We didn't plan to even start trying with DS1 until 3. He was ready slightly earlier in the end but we followed his lead.

If you really want to, try again in a month or two. Otherwise I'd wait until he shows you he's ready. It'll save you a lot of time (and Washing) in the long run.

PinkTonic · 01/05/2021 19:56

@IWentAwayIStayedAway

Who is telling you this is an issue. Children used to be out of nappies earlier years ago but only due to toilet timing. Not that they were toilet trained.
This isn’t true that it was only toilet timing. When my children were small it was normal to potty train at 2. All mine and friends children were clean and dry shortly after turning 2. I think the difference is that the nappies were crap and they were more aware of doing a wee whereas now the nappies are so excellent they don’t even feel wet.
PumpkinPie2016 · 01/05/2021 20:00

Leave it a couple of months and try again.

My son was just over three when he trained. Got it in a week. This was after a disastrous try at about 2.5.

Many kids aren't ready until 3.

Blueberrybonus · 01/05/2021 20:02

Tried potty training my ds at 2 years and it didn’t work. It was painful. Did it when he was just over 3 and it was done in a week. Easy! Nothing wrong with waiting. Ignore people who tell you you’re making a mistake and the mums who speak of their kids doing it at 18 months etc.

Santastealer · 01/05/2021 20:04

My son was 2.7 when I trained him. It took about 5 days and he hasn’t had an accident since. He was one of the earlier ones to train from my NCT group, some were closer to 3.

My daughter has just trained a week after her 2nd birthday. She chose herself not to wear nappies anymore and wanted pants the same as her brother. It took longer with more accidents, but 3 weeks later and we haven’t had an accident for a week now. She tells us when she needs to go but does need help with pulling up and down pants etc whereas her brother could be more self sufficient with him being older.

There is so much advice, mainly conflicting about it all. Some say never ask if they need it, I don’t like this method personally. I don’t ask them if we are at home but if out somewhere and we are passing a toilet I will ask if they need to go. They don’t know the place or how far away from a toilet we will be and so can’t judge their timings in the same way an adult can.

Royalbloo · 01/05/2021 20:05

Nah don't say that - there's nowt wrong in this situation x

riotlady · 01/05/2021 20:09

Perfectly normal! DD is recently 3 and we’re in the middle of doing the oh crap method this weekend.

Pottedpalm · 01/05/2021 20:09

[quote Monsterjam]@Pottedpalm thanks for your unnecessary opinion on my parenting choices[/quote]
You’re welcome.
Is it not a forum for giving opinions? I’m sure you have offered your opinion on other people’s choices, and you said yourself you had left it too late.