Feel like I’ve failed, 2 year old still in nappies

[AgnesWeston]

DS is 2 years and 7 months.
He hates the potty and won’t entertain a toilet seat cover either.
We’ve tried to talk about him being a big boy, we’ve tried to make it into a game, we’ve bought books about potties and toilet training.

He’s very bright, he recognises every letter of the alphabet already and can tell us the correct phonic sound for each one. He can count 1-10 and recognise each number individually. His speech is fantastic.

So I’m not sure what more we can do?

Thanks for reading!

Your parents keep mentioning it because potty training is usually started a bit later now than it used to be.
When babies were all in cloth nappies mothers were understandably very keen to get them potty trained as early as possible.

Both of my children only potty trained at age 3. They are older now and wearing nappies for a few extra months does not seem to have done them any harm. You haven't failed at all. It isn't a contest to get your child to reach these things by a certain time.

For what it is worth, my first I didn’t train until after his 3rd birthday - done and dusted within a few days and barely had an accident.

My first was showing signs he was ready just after his 2nd birthday. He was fairly quick to train and I initially felt quite smug. But he had loads of accidents and complete regressions between 2 and 3, and I rather wished I had left it later.

My oldest decided on her second birthday that she no longer wanted to wear nappies but had nighttime nappy for another year and several accidents. Second, my son, was nearly 3 and decided it was time, he had a younger sister in Naples so I was not pushing it, anyway, he was dry day and night from day one and never had so much as a wet bed. It is definitely worth waiting for them to feel ready xx

I waited til I was sure DD was ready (just before she turned 3). It was a very easy process - no accidents at all during the day and she was reliably dry at night after about a month. Don’t make life more difficult for yourself or cause your child unnecessary distress just because you want him to be meeting milestones early. It’s not fair.

Naples😂
Nappies even!

Average age in my group of friends was 2 and a half to 3 and a half, so around a years difference but no one was critical at any stage. It was noticeable the boys were mostly in the second half and seemed less "bothered" than the girls.

My DC just announced at around the same age as yours 2 years 7/8 months that he didn't want to wear a nappy any more and got it very quickly I think because he knew himself he was ready and wanted "big boy pants".

Wait for him to show some interest in the whole idea and it will be MUCH easier. Don't force anything or it will just end in accidents and tears (yours!)

Most are in nappies until 3. I have 5 DC and my older three were all in nappies until 3, in fact my eldest DS wasn’t dry at night until 4 so still wore a nappy for bedtime.

My 2.5 year old is nowhere near potty trained. Recognises when he’s pooing and goes into another room to do it but doesn’t recognise weeing and whenever I have tried to train him, he just wets himself and seems oblivious to it so I realise he isn’t ready. There’s no point pushing it at all, it will just lead to more stress and push back progress because they will lose confidence. It honestly has nothing to do with parenting skills or intelligence at all.

Stop worrying! All of mine were 3 before I trained them. My first I got trained in a day, we got one of those dolls that done a pee and repeated it all day long, had about one accident after that! My youngest daughter did have a medical condition which meant she wasn’t dry til after she went to school but honestly you’re not a failure. Just leave it for a while

And I should say unless there’s SEN involved, all children will potty train eventually! There’s honestly no rush at all, I promise your child won’t still wear nappies in 3 years.

I know loads of parents who 'potty trained' their two years olds. Except they all kept pissing themselves! So obviously weren't ready!

Thanks for the replies.

Re: the phonics thing, he started showing an interest in letters after watching Alphablocks on CBeebies and began recognising the letters when out and about, on signs, shops, a bin etc, same with numbers.
Then he moved on to telling us what the sound was. He had a book at bath time with the alphabet on it and wanted to look at it every night and because I’ve always worked in primary schools, teaching phonics in EYFS I modelled the correct sound. But he enjoys it and wants to watch Alphablocks etc. So I haven’t pushed it onto him at all.

My son was in nappies until 3.5 years, just wasn't interested then potty trained pretty much overnight.

My daughter wanted to start at 2.5 cause she saw ds not in nappies. She did it but took longer and is still in nighttime nappies at 3.5.

Agree with others, won't do it till they are ready. Try earlier and got are just setting yourself up to feel like you've failed.

My son was 3.7 when finally out of nappies. But he never had an accident since. We encouraged him to use the loo or potty but never wanted to make it into an issue:

Who cares... he’s only 2. Wait a while and don’t be so hard in yourself

Ime the norm for potty training is 2y6m-3y6m so you're far from failing.

Blimey, I failed all three of my kids then.

Your post is very attention seeking op. Do you really, really really think children are fully potty trained at that age? Aside from your parents, do you not read, speak to other people or not know a single other person with young kids to know how dramatic you are being? Your child is simply not ready.

I’m honestly not meaning to come across attention seeking.
I thought it was unusual for kids not to be potty trained at this age...I’m pleasantly surprised that I’m wrong on that.
I’m on various due date groups on Facebook and most of the toddlers on there, born in the same month and year as my DS are almost or completely potty trained. That’s why I didn’t realise it wasn’t common to not be.

I didn’t read your post as attention seeking.

Ds1 was trained for wees around 2years 10 months but took until 3 years 2 months to be reliable with poos. He's a normally developing bright boy.
My nephew wasn't trained until nearer 3.5. Again, a bright boy.

Relax, mine were both nearer 4 than 3 when they came out of nappies, they both decided they were not wearing nappies anymore and that was that, no training required (I had definitely left it too late)

He's too young.

I think getting your knowledge of reality from social media is one of the problems here. People tend to post stuff that makes them and their offspring look good. It creates a kind of mass 'keeping up with the Joneses' paranoia around just about everything, including child development.

Leave it until he’s ready and wants to go into pants. Best toilet training advise I’ve ever received