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Original poster

Feel like I’ve failed, 2 year old still in nappies

253 replies

AgnesWeston · 01/05/2021 13:44

DS is 2 years and 7 months.
He hates the potty and won’t entertain a toilet seat cover either.
We’ve tried to talk about him being a big boy, we’ve tried to make it into a game, we’ve bought books about potties and toilet training.

He’s very bright, he recognises every letter of the alphabet already and can tell us the correct phonic sound for each one. He can count 1-10 and recognise each number individually. His speech is fantastic.

So I’m not sure what more we can do?

Thanks for reading!

OP posts:
Iamaperiwinkle · 01/05/2021 13:55

Summer is the best time to potty train leave it until it is warmer and they are running around in pants.

Put on the potty every 30 mins to start, don't ever ask, and praise when they wee / poo. Get them to clean the potty after. Then every house and lots of praise.

If it doesn't work leave it 4 weeks and try again.

Lorw · 01/05/2021 13:56

My SSs are 4 and 6, the youngest is still in nappies full time and nowhere near ready to potty train and the 6 year old is still in pull ups at night. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself ♥️

webuiltthiscityonrockandwheat · 01/05/2021 13:56

My DS was 3 in February and nowhere near. I had DD on Tuesday and now I'm so glad we didn't start PT recently! He'll get there. I'm going to try over the summer but I'm not worried

Flappityflippers1 · 01/05/2021 13:56

I had loads of pressure from family to potty train as soon as DS was 2. So I did using the oh crap method. Day trained in a week, night dry by 2.5. Amazing you think! Not so. We’ve had endless regressions, and when mentioned it to HV and on here, the regressions are because he likely wasn’t actually ready.

Friends have trained 3+ and their kids have got it in a day or two and never regressed.

I have a newborn and won’t be training him until 3 ish - so stop stressing!

nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 01/05/2021 13:56

2 isn't that old, he just isn't ready yet. If he gets to 12 then you've failed as a parent but 2 not so much. He's totally normal.

Yosami · 01/05/2021 13:58

I never really potty trained. First DC was 2y10m and one day took his nappy off and used the toilet. Didn't even have a potty for the 2nd DC.

Homehaircuts · 01/05/2021 13:58

Give it a break and try in a month or two. He is likely not ready. Kids that age often aren't. I would try it for a few days if I wasn't getting anywhere I just leave it and try again another time. My son I tried when he was 2.5 it didn't work, tried again 2.7, with sticker charts, didn't work . Tried near 3 with sticker chart...he got the concept much better this time. Got a sticker for trying, got a better looking sticker for actually weeing, it was like a path to the prize type sticker chart, so by the end of the path.... probably around 20 stickers he got the prize...( taking him home bargain to spend a few pounds/cheap tat) This worked in the end because he understood the concept of the sticker reward (he wasn't bothered about being a big boy he just wanted the goods 😂) but once he got the hang of it and lots of praise he did it without stickers....I think I only went through two charts of stickers before he was done. I think the most important thing is wait until they are ready (they definitely understand) and find something that works to give them a motive.

megletthesecond · 01/05/2021 13:59

Two isn't late.
I had several failed attempts with mine around 2.6 then didn't try again until they were just over 3 during the Xmas break.

Let him wear pull ups and go to the toilet when he wants to. Try again later in the year.

happinessischocolate · 01/05/2021 14:00

@AgnesWeston

Reassuring to hear it isn’t an issue.

My parents keep mentioning it and I know a few at his nursery of a similar age who are out of nappies already.

The ones out of nappies by that age are there rare ones, but the ones still wearing them. My dd wasn't interested at all at 2 years 8 months and then suddenly a month later she wanted to go in the loo and wear pants, can't even remember training ds, I think I just put him in pull ups and he decided to go to the loo himself. The bigger deal you make of it the harder it will be.
LagunaBubbles · 01/05/2021 14:00

This is a stealth boast about how bright he is isn't it? Surely you know its perfectly normal not to be out nappies at his age? Why do some people try and turn potty training into a competition.

Billandben444 · 01/05/2021 14:00

Children used to be out of nappies earlier years ago but only due to toilet timing. Not that they were toilet trained.

Children were toilet trained and out of nappies much earlier when cloth nappies and plastic pants were used. They felt so uncomfortable sitting in wee and poo that it was much easier to do it - disposable nappies were around late 70s but were very expensive and only used as a back up when we went out. It's much easier to get them out of nappies if you wait for good weather and do it in the garden where accidents don't matter but it sounds as though 3 is a good time to try.

MacavityTheDentistsCat · 01/05/2021 14:01

Leave it for now. You mention how well he speaks and how much he knows etc. and those are signs that his brain is currently engaged with those areas. Once it has them under control, it will turn its focus elsewhere and at some point you'll find that he is suddenly interested in and ready for potty training. DD had no interest at 2.5+ but trained virtually overnight at 3+.

RemyMorgan · 01/05/2021 14:02

Meh I wouldn't worry about this at all. I know so many people who claim their children are potty trained at 18m ish when actually they are far from it. Yes they wear pants not nappies but they have frequent accidents and parents still smugly claim they're trained. They're not, they just wear pants and you have to clean them up regularly! Hmm

Not saying some children aren't trained young, but it's not as many as is claimed!

My eldest was just over 3. We tried like you younger and stressed about it and it just wasn't happening. Waited until just after 3, tried again, bribed with chocolate buttons (don't care if this is poor parenting it worked!) for every successful toilet trip and child was trained within 2 days and has never had an accident since, child is now 5. Only one accident a day for the first 2 days too. Straight on the toilet with a toddler step and seat too, no potty. Youngest is 2.5 now and similarly refuses to try the toilet, am not bothered in the least. Will try over the summer, same method and hopefully it'll work again.

Ignore other people and concentrate on your own family, don't worry! When they're actually ready, physically and mentally you don't need to 'train' them as such and mess about with doing naked days at home and funny methods etc. You just show them how to do it and reward them for doing well (new pants/a treat/a toy - whatever works!).

optimistic40 · 01/05/2021 14:02

Did both of mine at age 3 plus. It is easier then. My younger one is just four and still wears nappies to bed. I don't feel bothered by it at all, it isn't a bad thing!

rachelvbwho · 01/05/2021 14:03

Jeeezzzz... I didn't even start trying to potty "train" until after my daughters 3rd birthday.

Relax... They aren't ready. The more you mush the harder it will be.

paralysedbyinertia · 01/05/2021 14:03

Meh, I was very lazy about getting dd out of nappies. Didn't even try until she was nearly 3. I think it was better that way, because she was actually ready - it took just a weekend for her to get the hang of it, whereas other friends who started earlier were "training" their kids for weeks or even months.

It's one of those things that just won't seem important in a couple of years. I mean, nobody puts the age at which they were potty trained on their CV, do they?

Just chill, your little boy will get it when he's ready.

user1471538283 · 01/05/2021 14:04

He will get there I promise you! Boys are usually a little later than girl. My DS was 3 but that was with the help of the kindergarten. We took it very slowly so he was still in nappies and going to the loo kind of (not really).

It's about control not training so your little one needs to recognise its uncomfortable and then recognise he needs the toilet. One day it just clicked with my DS and that was it, completely clean and dry day and night. I'd just bought a new big pack of nappies ....

bristolone · 01/05/2021 14:04

First DC took several attempts from 2.3, 2.6, 2.8 - didn't work. All friends were successful. Felt like a failure. Did it at 2.11 and it took 5 days!

Next 2 DC did at 2.10 - couldn't face any earlier. One took 3 days other took 5 weeks but after that was great. Don't worry - he will get there.

1122bucklemyshoe · 01/05/2021 14:05

Speech and letter/number recognition has nothing to do with toilet training.

2 is still early. You can't force a child to be ready for toilet training. You will be letting yourself in for a world of pain and a very long drawn out period of training with many accidents if you force the issue.

Waiting until they are ready and willing and showing signs they are ready will make the process faster end far less stressful.

optimistic40 · 01/05/2021 14:05

@AgnesWeston

Reassuring to hear it isn’t an issue.

My parents keep mentioning it and I know a few at his nursery of a similar age who are out of nappies already.

Past generations did it all earlier, just ignore the parents. Your child will be fine!
Chipsahoy · 01/05/2021 14:06

Meh my youngest is 3 next week and has zero interest.
My oldest was potty trained at 2yrs 11 months and my middle at 3 years 1 month.

Don’t worry about it. Try again in a few months.

stormelf · 01/05/2021 14:06

DD wasn't interested in potty training at 2.5 when I tried. I put it off for a few months but then she still wasn't interested, she would have continuous accidents and scream for a nappy. I decided to wait for a bit and tried again at 3 years 2 months. She got it straight away and was dry day and night in under a week. I'm glad I waited now

Thesearmsofmine · 01/05/2021 14:06

Sounds pretty normal to me, I used to be the lead in a toddler room, some were potty trained at that age and some weren’t.

DelilahTheParrot · 01/05/2021 14:07

A friend we knew at nursery insisted her DD was ready at about 26/27 months. We all gently cautioned it was probably v early, but she wouldn’t hear it because the “books said”.

Needless to say it didn’t work, and now three years later her DD is 5, at school, and still has regular accidents (number 1s and number 2s) as she just isn’t fussed at all about how it feels. In the meantime, most people waited until closer to age 3, trained within a month, have no accidents and are out of night nappies.

Moral of the story is that it could all backfire!

Blondeshavemorefun · 01/05/2021 14:07

He’s still little. He’s 2

Leave fir a few months

I tried dd at 2.7. Wasn’t interested and wet herself countless times in one morning so I stopped

6mths later just as we had our first lockdown at literally 3 she said wanted to do wee in potty

And did. And no accidents

Think in the past year she’s had one and that was as she was in the garden and left too late

Point I’m. Making is that many children esp boys are still in nappies at 3. Not th end of the world

When a child is ready pt is easy and barely any accidents

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