Feel like I’ve failed, 2 year old still in nappies

[AgnesWeston]

DS is 2 years and 7 months.
He hates the potty and won’t entertain a toilet seat cover either.
We’ve tried to talk about him being a big boy, we’ve tried to make it into a game, we’ve bought books about potties and toilet training.

He’s very bright, he recognises every letter of the alphabet already and can tell us the correct phonic sound for each one. He can count 1-10 and recognise each number individually. His speech is fantastic.

So I’m not sure what more we can do?

Thanks for reading!

@earlydoors42

I don't get why children used to be able to train earlier in the past but apparently can't now.

Mine were between 21 months and 31 months (3 boys and 1 girl, who was the latest) and all really were fully trained at those ages (I saw some posters saying kids trained younger weren't really trained - all I can say is that mine were).

Good luck with your training.

Because modern nappies take away the wetness and cloth nappies don’t do children would recognise they were wet at a younger age. Having said that I used cloth with 2 dc and both of them potty trained around their third birthday.

It’s fine. Both of mine went nappy free around their 3rd birthday but I know many who were much later, nearer 4.
If they’re not ready, they’re not ready. We decided my first son was ready; he cried for half an hour then went on the potty and all was well. 2nd son decided himself he was ready; “mummy I don’t want to wear nappies any more” And that was it. We never had any proper accidents other than not quite getting to the potty in time. And within a few weeks they were dry at night too.
At two and a half you really don’t need to stress.

I kept pushing my ds to potty train , it became a war and then I read about it and realised he had to show me when ready. Eventually he decided himself , he was 3.
It helped having the nursery working on it too and it seemed the major push were his friends at nursery all using the potty! It will happen but you have got to relax a bit about it

Eek, poor kid doing phonics as a baby.

www.janetlansbury.com/2014/08/3-reasons-kids-dont-need-toilet-training-and-what-to-do-instead/#:~:text=Bright%2C%20sensitive%2C%20aware%20toddlers%20can,ashamed%2C%20lead%20to%20severe%20 constipation. Look no further than this. I went this route with both of mine. Worked a charm, no stress, no staying home, no accidents, yes really.

He'll get there when he is ready. 2 years and 7 months is still very tiny.

www.janetlansbury.com/2014/08/3-reasons-kids-dont-need-toilet-training-and-what-to-do-instead/#:~:text=Bright%2C%20sensitive%2C%20aware%20toddlers%20can Absolutely very young still, yes. Mine literally decided one day and that was that.

All kids are different. DD was 18 months and potty trained herself whereas DS has just turned 3 and still has the occasional accident unless I take him to the toilet.

Precocious pooping in a potty doesn't make for a lifetime of superior toilet skills.

All three of mine were still in nappies at on their 3rd birthday. There's no rush, it's not a failure. Don't stress.

Ds was 3 before he was potty trained. He was at ft nursery since 1 year old and they worked with him to train him consistently. They must know what they are doing and it still took that long. Dd was faster. I wouldn't worry .

I didn’t start potty training dd1 until a week before her 3rd birthday. I don’t know why you are worrying!

It’s not an issue but if you are keen to get it done my recommend method is a huge amount of bribery. Play his favourite cartoon but pause it every time he gets up without using the potty. Give chocolate or sweets too.

My almost 3 year old DS is still in nappies 🤷‍♀️ if those that are judging you for your DS still being in nappies want to do the extra laundry & other associated cleaning then IMO they are welcome to deal with the toilet training 🤷‍♀️😂 I'm happy for my DS to remain in nappies until such a time that I feel he's ready to be toilet trained. My eldest was definitely ready at 3 years 7 months. So much so that she only had 1 accident in the 1st 3 days & that was it. 🤷‍♀️ I believe in waiting until they're ready, however long that may be.

My mother swears i was potty trained as i emerged from the womb!

My four? I don't bother starting till the summer of their 3rd year. Chill OP.

In other words 3 and a half ish.

DS was 3 and a half. He went from point blank refusing to using a toilet seat and accident free in a week. They get there when they’re ready.

You sound very pushy. Why on earth does it matter what letters and numbers he knows? What you say he can do is not expected of a 2 year old and when I hear that I am not impressed I just feel sorry for the kid who has been drilled to perform. Just let him be a kid.

@AgnesWeston

Reassuring to hear it isn’t an issue.

My parents keep mentioning it and I know a few at his nursery of a similar age who are out of nappies already.

Most nurseries are willing to help? Get them on board.

How early your child is 'potty trained' is related to how keen you are as a 'catcher' :).

They all seem to be securely trained (little or no catching required) at about the same age.

If he isn't interested yet - well he has all the cards here - so relax and wait.

Aim to have it settled before school but remember that not everyone is perfectly secure by then. Whenever you worry too much, remember that it is going to happen eventually.

(A friend pointed out to me that mine was unlikely to still be in nappies by the time he walked down the aisle with his true-love.)

Just leave it a bit longer.

It's easier once they know they are going to wee and/or poo and that happens at various stages. You can even apply a little, gentle bribery at that time if there is an item he would particularly like.

Your boy is fine for now and it won't be long. Reassure the grandparents.

Relax. It sounds like he isn't ready yet and that is perfectly normal. I let my son choose some big boy pants and had a potty/toilet seat available and we just carried on. One day he announced he would be wearing pants going forwards. Still wore pull ups at night for another 2 months and was then dry overnight. By 3 and half he was dry and it was drama free. Teaching him to wipe his own bottom well is more of a challenge and he is 6

I left all of mine until over 3.

No 1, had a go at about ?2 and a half - no good. So left it, stuff happened, didn't try it until 3 and 2 months for various reasons (international move among them!)

It was cracked in a DAY. They were ready. Omg bliss. Potty training simply didn't need to be done.

Did exactly the same for the others, waited until ready.

Bliss.

One day of wet pants for each. That was pretty much it.

So I’m not sure what more we can do?

You're expecting too much. He's not even three yet! Just stop going on about it and leave him until he's ready. It will happen soon enough.

I'd forget about it entirely until the summer holidays, then think about it again.