Children’s hunger ruining my life

[Hungryhippos123]

NC as I’ve spoken to lots of friends and family about this.

I have two lovely DC 6 and 3. They are both happy lovely children but in the overweight category and have HUGE appetites and this is literally ruining my life. It sounds dramatic but it takes over every day. I’m a physio and my husband runs a business but is an ex-PT. we are both healthy, slim, eat well, exercise. Both kids were normal birthweight, EBF but 99th centile by 6 months and have stayed there since.

I spend huge amounts of time ensuring they have a healthy balanced diet. They eat well, cooking from scratch, loads of veg, enough protein to fill them (in theory). But they are always always hungry. We tried portion control at the recommendation of an nhs dietician for 3 months solid and gave small portions but they cried constantly (every waking moment, didn’t adjust to the new portions, waking in the night hungry etc. We now do the Ellyn Satter method where we have set meal and snack times but they eat their fill of healthy food. But still between these times they constantly moan they are hungry. Now the eldest can tell the time she counts down to the snack and meal times.

Days out are ruined by them wanting the picnic or lunch but 10:30am. When we are with friends I get so embarrassed by the constant requests for food especially as they are overweight. At parties/buffets they want to eat constantly. I allow them the odd ice cream/biscuit/treat and let them to wild at parties as don’t want the single them out and Also don’t want to demonise any food and make it super exciting.

I sought help from my HVs, GPs and dieticians for years. Advice ranges between they are obese you’re a terrible mother stop feeding them rubbish (I wasn’t!), ensure they have correct portions however hungry they are (everyone was miserable), that’s just they way they are (just accept they will be obese?!). They’ve both been tested for thyroid issues/health problems but all clear. They have no other indications of a health issue, no SEN etc.

I speak to family and friends but because they don’t look obese or even overweight as they’re v heavy but strong and muscular they tell me not to worry. Or tell me I’m lucky to have good eaters and try having a fussy/low centile child. I’m so worried about the impact on their lives especially when They’re old enough to buy food or move out as I’m sure they will balloon. I go to sleep hoping they will snap out of this food obsession. I’ve looked into hypnosis etc but they don’t do that for children.

We encourage healthy diet, theyre v active walking, swimming, park lots etc. I never talk about weight, never call them greedy never say fat. We just talk about healthy choices and waiting for meal and snack not grazing.

Honestly I’m at the end of my tether. I’m close to tears every day and cry often when they’re in bed as I worry so much about it. I’m embarrassed, worried for the future and exhausted by the constant effort to stop them eating or whinging. When I’m really bad we have no rule days where I let them eat whatever all day (maybe 3 x a year). They’re so happy, well behaved, calm, chilled on those days. They eat loads but I still generally offer healthy things so it’s not a junk free for all. Part of me thinks screw it ill do this every day as it makes life 100000 x easier and we are happy but realistically I can’t.

Anyone had similar? Please be kind I’m so worried upset and am acutely aware of the risks of obesity in childhood so I don’t need to be told this more.

I'm sorry but I think you're making an issue out of something that really isn't an issue, and if you don't stop you're going to give your kids eating disorders. They are asking for food because they are hungry, and 1.5 wheatabix and some fruit wouldn't fill my 4 year old let alone a 6 year old. You'd be much better of giving them porridge or eggs on toast for breakfast. But back on topic, you need to let go of the reins, stop worrying and withholding food and just let them eat when they are hungry. When they learn that actually mummy let's us eat when we are hungry, rather than rigid food times, you'll find they stop obsessing over eating and will eat what they need when they need comfortable in the knowledge that if its an hour or so later they can have some fruit or a yogurt. They will be less emotional and food focused and so will you

My kids were all breast fed until 6-10 months and we're always in the next size up clothes. I look at pictures now and they are normal chubby babies which all went once they could walk. They are now 15-20 and are very tall and slim. I limited sweets too much so they have become a thing for one child, especially this past year when I have bought them chocolate and sweets like never before.

Seriously, you need to back right off. Someone has to be smaller and bigger for the averages to work.

As long as you are truthful in that you are giving them the decent food they need to grow and now a huge doughnut twice a day and no fruit and veg they will be fine.

If they are constantly asking for food then that should be tackled as a manners thing and not a greed thing.

A child having breakfast hasn’t eaten in, what 14 hours? They’re starving for breakfast!

My DC, one of whom is superskinny and one of whom is skinny-but-much-bigger-built, would both happily eat two weetabix, a banana, and a slice of toast at those ages. With a ton of milk poured on.

And still be ready for elevenses at 10.

If they don’t look fat, I’d try firstly much bigger breakfasts, and secondly, chilling out about it.

Sorry - to add to my comment, I'm not sure if there's something up with your children. I don't know them or you! That was a bit of a rash comment. I don't want the MN pitchforks out...
They could be perfectly healthy and you could just be over anxious. But if you are concerned perhaps you should consult a doctor who specialises in children and nutrition? Every now and then a child may have a disorder which results in overeating.

It’s just about making sure there is a balance of carbs and protein. I am a specialist paediatric dietician I work with parents of children with Type 1 diabetes. The eternal question with Type 1 children is to keep blood sugars as stable as possible. You assess the child’s carbohydrate requirements for optimal health and then you carb count every meal because insulin dosage is calculated based on carbohydrate intake. Proteins do significantly slow down the absorption of carbohydrate as does fat. One of the standard easy to remember rules in never to feed a carbohydrate without an accompanying protein.This way of eating applies successful to all children. Children will get hungry on a carb only diet, particularly white starchy carbs rather than multi grains or root vegetables. They will get less hungry between meals if you combine protein with carbohydrate and good fats. Stable blood sugars stabilise eating patterns very effectively.

@Yaya26

“I’ll speak to family and friends but because they don’t look obese or even overweight as they’re v heavy but strong and muscular they tell me not to worry.“

So what is the problem then if they’re not obese or overweight? Are they just tall solidly built children. Absolutely nothing wrong with that. If they’re eating healthily (usually) and active. - they’re perfect. You can’t turn a solidly built tall child into a petite doll no matter what you try.

I personally believe parents should be relaxed about diet, children need to have some junk occasionally and don’t put a big emphasis on it. It’s sad when parents turn into dictators. We had a picnic recently for my 8 year old’s birthday. I had a couple of cans of Coke and divided it between 5 kids. (Fixzzy drinks aren’t a regular feature in our house)Never thought anything of it. One of the little girls whose mum seems very strict downed the Coke and then went on to say it was her first time ever tasting it and that she was going to lie to her Mum about it. Very sad. How does that make sense when Mum and Dad enjoy downing vodka and wine regularly?

it's not sad for the little girl to not have had fizzy drinks at 8, especially coke. I'd been quite pissed off tbh. I work in dentistry and see what happens with fizzy drinkers.

Nothing to be smug about.

To add - sorry I don’t like the username - you seem totally hung up on this.

Ditch the scales and percentile data if you’re using them. If they look strong and healthy that’s all you need.

My daughters best friend takes after her Dad. Tall large framed girl. Towers over my daughter. Her own Mum is tiny. She is absolutely gorgeous. I could look at her all day.

Sad for an 8 year old to have not had coke? . My 7 year old hasn’t had coke. Never expressed any desire to have it. I don’t think it’s ‘sad’, coke isn’t that exciting!

Agree with a PP, children should NOT be having fizzy drinks. I only give mine water and they’re perfectly happy.

I agree with lots of PP and I really think you are making this a huge problem, which will instil very odd, obsessive food-related or controlling behaviours as they grow up.

I really think- in the nicest possible way- you need to chill the fuck out. You do sound like you're taking this way too far and being extremely controlling and weird.

It sounds like you have the issue with food. If you’re giving them healthy food, just let them
Eat!

You need to measure their height for their weight centiles to have any meaning whatsoever.

I give my DC a big breakfast...bowl of porridge (made with full milk), piece of fruit and often some toast with nut butter as well.

Then nothing until mid-morning snack (carrot sticks and houmous/cheese cubes normally).

He usually picks at lunch and dinner and is happy with small portions.

He never really complains about being hungry...front-loading his food seems to work for him.

Maybe try filling them up in the morning and they may want less later in the day?

Small snack mid-morning

I do wonder if it is your obsession with food & their weight that is causing a lot of this. Both my parents are naturally skinny, like literally so thin, and I’m not. As a child all I remember is them obsessing about what & how much I was eating, and being forced to exercise, weighed every week, and having my food restricted. It is horrible as a child to experience that, and it has definitely impacted my relationship with food as an adult.

My kids didn’t try fizzy drinks until they were 12/13, one of the doesn’t like anything fizzy, the other only drinks it if there’s nothing else on offer.

Not sure about the carb thing? Do kids need extra carbs? Surely protein is more important?

@CaraherEIL what are good combos?

It seems very light on carbs and protein the food you are giving them.
My faddy and small 3 year old would be starving on that food.
Granary toast with beans or scrambled eggs, hummous, avocado, cold high meat content sausages, as much cucumber, lettuce, tomatoes as they can eat, dippy eggs and toast, sandwiches, fish fingers, oat cakes to snack on. Sandwiches can be egg, ham, cheese, fish finger with added salad.

The problem is if you are always hungry food is constantly on your mind. Fill them up then activities that fully engage the mind. Have a range of not particularly interesting food they can eat if they are hungry, toast is our go to.

@SeaTurtles92 absolutely not being smug. I think you have misinterpreted me. It’s not sad that the girl never had coke. It’s sad that she felt so conflicted that she had to lie to her Mum about drinking an inch of it.

I don’t condone having kids guzzling fizzy drinks all day everyday obviously.That’s something else.

I hope you don’t drink wine, coffee, drinks with sugar, fruit juices, fruit, raisins ... I believe they’re all damaging to teeth too.

As kindly as possible, OP, I suspect the problem isn't with them.

I would agree with this.

Dd2 was apparently overweight as a toddler according to the hv. I just carried on as I was with healthy diet etc she is now a tall slim sporty and beautiful pre teen often scouted for modelling which we ignore but to give you an idea of her body shape come a long way from a tubby toddler/younger child.

Well what do they eat on an average day?

I don’t actually think that’s a lot of food OP .... they’re growing children. I’d honestly take a step back and not try to regulate food as much as you are. I’d also offer bread somewhere in there ... we can get too het up on healthy food - children need fat and carbohydrates more than we do as adults. Fruit and veg are obviously great and essential, but they don’t fill me up, maybe they don’t fill your dc up?

Have a range of not particularly interesting food they can eat if they are hungry, toast is our go to.

This! My kids eat but aren't obsessed with food because there is always enough uninteresting food they can eat if they want to ie peanut butter, cheese, apples, carrots, toast.

never ... OP has said this earlier on ... perhaps RTFT ... or even just OP’s posts ...

So 6 year old is generally in 7-8 and 3 year old in 3-4 and 4-5 stuff.

Hardly excessive
Check height. If they 99 centile for height and weight then no big deal.
Stress less.
They happy healthy active
Seems like you stressed over nothing