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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder what it is about “no overnight stays till 17 May” that is so hard to understand?

821 replies

HaveringWavering · 29/04/2021 16:22

So many colleagues and acquaintances merrily talking today about plans to go and stay with relatives for the bank holiday. Nobody has any shame. We’re waiting till the 17th. Does nobody care any more?

OP posts:
ComDummings · 29/04/2021 17:13

The rates are so low now 🤷🏼‍♀️

5zeds · 29/04/2021 17:13

Everyone I know is following the rules. The only rule breakers I know are described on threads like this on MN.Confused

Neonprint · 29/04/2021 17:14

Urgh you sound so smug. It's not that people don't understand it and you absolutely know that. If you're going to complain about people say what you mean.

Lweji · 29/04/2021 17:15

@ComDummings

The rates are so low now 🤷🏼‍♀️
Let's keep them that way, shall we?
Stevenetween · 29/04/2021 17:15

We’re not breaking any rules, but I’m not going to get bent out of shape over someone stopping at their mums for the night.

Original poster
HaveringWavering · 29/04/2021 17:15

@Neonprint

Urgh you sound so smug. It's not that people don't understand it and you absolutely know that. If you're going to complain about people say what you mean.
It’s a figure of speech. You must have heard it before?
OP posts:
shouldistop · 29/04/2021 17:15

@RedcurrantPuff what's legal in Scotland?

PegPeople · 29/04/2021 17:16

@5zeds

Everyone I know is following the rules. The only rule breakers I know are described on threads like this on MN.Confused
Unless you only know a grand total of about 3 people I can absolutely garuntee that some of the people you know are breaking the rules, they are just not telling anyone about it.
StillRailing · 29/04/2021 17:16

Yes forget about wiping down your groceries and open windows in the office

murbblurb · 29/04/2021 17:16

a large percentage of the UK population (and those on here) are fuckwits as the responses show. Expecting absolute answers, and chucking the toys when they don't get their own way.

we aren't even supposed to be in each other's houses until May 17th, when hopefully cases will have dropped sufficiently to reduce the risk of spreading it, and more will be vaccinated. It is deliberately timed to avoid one bank holiday and to allow for the post infection time lag. Dates have to be set although they can change.

We all want to see our families. None of us wanted this pandemic.

BlaBlaSmthSmth · 29/04/2021 17:17

So if you aren't worried about them putting anyone at risk and it's just 'the rules' then I don't get why you'd expect them to feel 'shame' surely you understand that other people are able to make their own risk assessments and judge situations for themselves. Who cares for the sake of a couple of weeks 🤷‍♀️

NothingIsWrong · 29/04/2021 17:17

Not even waiting until next weekend. My Mum came to stay last weekend and we were over the moon to see her.

Do I get a medal for my lack of shame? I feel like I need one.

Original poster
HaveringWavering · 29/04/2021 17:17

@murbblurb

a large percentage of the UK population (and those on here) are fuckwits as the responses show. Expecting absolute answers, and chucking the toys when they don't get their own way.

we aren't even supposed to be in each other's houses until May 17th, when hopefully cases will have dropped sufficiently to reduce the risk of spreading it, and more will be vaccinated. It is deliberately timed to avoid one bank holiday and to allow for the post infection time lag. Dates have to be set although they can change.

We all want to see our families. None of us wanted this pandemic.

Amen.
OP posts:
BlaBlaSmthSmth · 29/04/2021 17:17

@Stevenetween

We’re not breaking any rules, but I’m not going to get bent out of shape over someone stopping at their mums for the night.
This ☝️
ginswinger · 29/04/2021 17:18

I'm with you OP, it's not long to go and after so long, it's not long to wait.

Seeing the footage of the situation in India is enough to make me stick to the rules just a bit longer. It's only being done for our own benefit so we have more freedom longer term.

Original poster
HaveringWavering · 29/04/2021 17:19

@BlaBlaSmthSmth

So if you aren't worried about them putting anyone at risk and it's just 'the rules' then I don't get why you'd expect them to feel 'shame' surely you understand that other people are able to make their own risk assessments and judge situations for themselves. Who cares for the sake of a couple of weeks 🤷‍♀️
No. If the govt announced tonight that the rules had changed it would be due to a reassessment of the risk.
OP posts:
LuaDipa · 29/04/2021 17:19

Sometimes common sense trumps rules.

This.

I know a small number of people who technically have broken the rules, but in each case there has been a strong compassionate reason. I know this because I have spoken to them and not rushed to judgement. I have tried to follow the rules, but I would not hesitate to break them if it meant supporting a friend, not leaving a struggling adult dc alone over Christmas or seeing a terminally ill relative. In each case, they have agonised over whether or not it is ‘right’ to do what in any other circumstance would be the compassionate thing. Yes rules are rules, but people matter too and you have no idea what is going on behind closed doors.

trappedsincesundaymorn · 29/04/2021 17:19

manage your own risk but if the rules were changed so that you could visit next week you'd be ok with that? I don't reckon covid has a diary so it wouldn't care if you visited this week, in 3 weeks or never. But how long are you willing to wait to see them if the rules get pushed back...and back? I'm not prepared to wait anymore everybody who will be in my house next week (all 4 of us), have been fully vaccinated so why shouldn't we meet. We promise to stay 2 meters away from people and wear masks when we have to but other than that we will just get on with having a great time.

XenoBitch · 29/04/2021 17:20

It wont be suddenly safer on the 17th. All the deaths, hospital cases etc are going down. I am not sure why the 17th is some magic date that we have to wait until, other than Boris told us so.
I do not blame anyone for meeting overnight now.

JennyBond · 29/04/2021 17:20

Nothing magic is going to happen on 17th May to make overnight stays suddenly drop from high risk to low risk.

Hopefully rates will be even lower by then.

More people will have been vaccinated.

We’ll have a better view on the impact of easing certain restrictions from April 12th.

So yeah, leaving it a few more weeks probably will lower the risk.

Doghead · 29/04/2021 17:20

@HaveringWavering

They’d all be the first to complain if their employers asked them to come back to the office a millisecond before the government relaxes “work from home if possible”.
Eh?

Some people have never worked from home.

RedcurrantPuff · 29/04/2021 17:20

[quote shouldistop]@RedcurrantPuff what's legal in Scotland? [/quote]
Overnight stays. Well in accommodation anyway. Not yet in private houses maybe now I think about it. But hotels, campsites, B and Bs, self catering etc are open here now. Indoor hospitality too but no alcohol

JennyBond · 29/04/2021 17:21

The reason it’s the 17th is because after last years debacle they are leaving more time between each step of easing restrictions. Not sure why that is so hard to understand.

Original poster
HaveringWavering · 29/04/2021 17:21

@LuaDipa

Sometimes common sense trumps rules.

This.

I know a small number of people who technically have broken the rules, but in each case there has been a strong compassionate reason. I know this because I have spoken to them and not rushed to judgement. I have tried to follow the rules, but I would not hesitate to break them if it meant supporting a friend, not leaving a struggling adult dc alone over Christmas or seeing a terminally ill relative. In each case, they have agonised over whether or not it is ‘right’ to do what in any other circumstance would be the compassionate thing. Yes rules are rules, but people matter too and you have no idea what is going on behind closed doors.

Visita in those circumstances are not prohibited. And believe me that no compassionate reasons for any of the bank holiday jaunts I have been told about.
OP posts:
FatAnneTheDealer · 29/04/2021 17:21

It is the law that is shameful, and the pre vaccination briefing is BS.

Bad laws ought to be broken.