Perimenopause: why did I not know I’d feel this shit?

[CaptainAwkward]

Christ I’m tired. It feels exactly like the bone deep aching fatigue of my early pregnancies (definitely not up the duff before anyone asks!)

Why isn’t common knowledge how rubbish it can be? Well, it’s obviously the patriarchal medical/social model that dismisses ‘women’s problems’.
I’ve got the GP in a couple of weeks who has my blood results and will hopefully prescribe HRT.

Any tips?

Oh my god

I’ve suspected I was peri (am 44 and periods have been haywire) but reading this thread everything’s clicking into place

I’m nine tired, I ache everywhere, my fanny feels like it’s on fire, every joint hurts, my periods are over in a day but like something from Carrie

I’ve been tested for everything under the sink. Abs waiting to see an auto immune consultant in case it’s lupus abs NO ONE has even suggested it could be the peri menopause..

Why is women’s health care so shit?

Does anyone else get the “you’re too young, menopause is usually not for a few years” response, like peri menopause doesn’t cause any problems? Do all HCPs think symptoms happen bang on menopause date and that’s it? This is fucking ridiculous isn’t it?

The best thing anyone can do in their forties is get educated about the menopause. There are some very good podcasts about the topic.

www.menopausedoctor.co.uk/podcasts
audioboom.com/channels/5041790

Not all women will suffer, in the same way not all women have fertility issues or horrendous periods, but many will and the amount of ignorance around is astounding. This would not be the case if men had a menopause. Thankfully things are slowly starting to change, and many employers are realising they need a policy as part of their equality and diversity programmes.

I have the merina coil fitted. I asked my GP for the blood test to see if I was perimenopausal but he said it is not reliable and asked what difference would make to know if symptoms were due to perimenopause? Well, I would actually like to know if my symptoms (anxiety, anger, extreme sadness, night sweats, no libido, fatigue, lack of concentration) are caused by something physical or are they being caused by circumstances (also going through some stress in my personal life) Should I have the coil removed to see what happens? GP said no as symptoms may become worse. I don't know what to do. My relationship with my DD has been affected as I have over reacted in a few situations. She suggested I need anger management and sadly I can't disagree.

How do you know when it starts? MId 40's here and tired , a lot but could that just be normal life?

@SinisterBumFacedCat

Does anyone else get the “you’re too young, menopause is usually not for a few years” response, like peri menopause doesn’t cause any problems? Do all HCPs think symptoms happen bang on menopause date and that’s it? This is fucking ridiculous isn’t it?

Yup. Went to GPS with list of symptoms including erratic periods and was told aged 45 that I was too young. Although my mum was 45 ish when she had hers. Wankers. I persisted and am now on hrt and improving but it took a year and I had to do all the work and fight for it and I will never forgive this.

@Coldwine75

How do you know when it starts? MId 40's here and tired , a lot but could that just be normal life?

Worth noting as a symptom coldwine, fatigue was my biggest symptom I'd say, beside emotional instability. If it's not too severe have you started taking a supplement like menopace? I recommend it. If your fatigue is severe then yes I'd see the gp.

I take Menopace, have one hot flush at 5am everyday.. but it stops me wanting to hurt people .. when I don’t take it I am batshit over the littlest of things. Been peri since 2012 .. loooong time

Great. So we have puberty, periods, pregnancy, peri and then menopause
What do men get

@Jazzledazzle

I have the merina coil fitted. I asked my GP for the blood test to see if I was perimenopausal but he said it is not reliable and asked what difference would make to know if symptoms were due to perimenopause? Well, I would actually like to know if my symptoms (anxiety, anger, extreme sadness, night sweats, no libido, fatigue, lack of concentration) are caused by something physical or are they being caused by circumstances (also going through some stress in my personal life) Should I have the coil removed to see what happens? GP said no as symptoms may become worse. I don't know what to do. My relationship with my DD has been affected as I have over reacted in a few situations. She suggested I need anger management and sadly I can't disagree.

Hey, I've got merina too. I take HRT Premarin which has helped a lot with the same peri symptoms you describe. It's oestrogen only so can be taken safely with merina. Good luck!

@LemonadeSunshine Thanks, I will talk to GP again.

I’ve just started Evorel sequi after having a shed load of blood tests and everything coming back ok except my iron levels (due to 2yrs of heavy periods).
My main complaint is that my body feels like an 80 yr old ( no offence to sprightly octogenarians!) I have Achilles tendinitis, fasciitis- heel pain and stiffness, achey knees, shoulders, wrists and elbows. I have stiffness in my legs after sitting for any period or first thing in the morning, which causes me to limp. My shoulder that I tend to sleep on wakes me up most nights and I feel I need to click it to be comfortable again! Therefore broken nights sleep most nights.
I’ve been tearful thinking I’m going downhill fast and how on earth Im going to get around in 20 yrs time if I’m like this now (I’m 48!).
Anyway started Evorel sequi and iron tabs 2 weeks ago and feel better in myself. My energy levels and motivation is back , feeling less tears and anxious.Joint pain is still there but sleeping better with shoulder. I’m also getting a massage on legs and shoulders every week in the hope it helps it all improve.
I too thought it was hot flushes and moodiness which I don’t really have, I hadn’t bargained for all the rest!

Toomuchsauce your experience is similar to mine. I've never had a hot flush and I don't have vag dryness... Which were the things I thought menopause was all about! Turns out my mum had neither as well ( that was an interesting conversation 🤣) with my mother and myself particularly it was all about emotional volatility ( the rage!! The weeping!!) and aches and pains that made me feel ancient and insomnia and exhaustion. I'm on estrogel now and all those things are improving fast touch wood.

@QueenPaw

Great. So we have puberty, periods, pregnancy, peri and then menopause What do men get

Erectile dysfunction I guess, but yes they get off lightly imo!

I've been terrified I'm dying for the last couple of months because I've started having more periods but the sane part of my brain knows it's more likely this.
I'm 41, bleeding for the second time this month, miserable but thankfully have just text my partner that I'm going straight to bed after work and he's sorting the dinner and kids out so I don't need to worry.
This made me cry obviously. He can't win.

I've booked myself an appointment with a private clinic to try and figure out what the hell is going on with me. Appointments not until the end of the month though, but fingers crossed they'll be able to help identify my problems and hormone imbalances and help me. I feel so on edge and such a mess the past few months I'm barely coping. And to think this is just the start of it all 😔🤦🏼‍♀️

@WineGetsMeThroughIt

I've booked myself an appointment with a private clinic to try and figure out what the hell is going on with me. Appointments not until the end of the month though, but fingers crossed they'll be able to help identify my problems and hormone imbalances and help me. I feel so on edge and such a mess the past few months I'm barely coping. And to think this is just the start of it all 😔🤦🏼‍♀️

Chances are they will help you quite quickly. In my experience it's a long road identifying peri via NHS GPs but once hrt commenced life improved pretty rapidly. If your clinic is decent you may be on the home straight to feeling a lot better. Hope that's reassuring.

I’m so happy this thread (which started off as a self-pitying moan) has been so helpful.
I’ve learned so much about the peri menopause.

I’m counting down until my GP appointment (6 days!). I’m going to print out the NICE guidelines for prescribing HRT.

Does anyone have a link to the best document?

Thanks @ladygindiva I'm booked in here: www.mariongluckclinic.com/what-we-treat/women/perimenopause

They specialise in menopause and perimanopause. A hormone test was something I wanted to look into for ages because I have PCOS and endometriosis. And now multiple symptoms of peri 🤦🏼‍♀️

48. This last year I've had vertigo twice, aching top teeth which the dentist can't find anything wrong with, a horrendous allergic rash all over my eyes for six fucking months that the doctor couldn't explain, random itchy patches in other places, achy feet and hands, and periods that whilst not much more painful than usual, are heavy and sort of watery so I feel like I've wet myself half the time. Followed after a few days by a load of brown sticky stuff making its way out of me. Grim. I was having quite bad anxiety but I've been taking vitamins which has helped with that a bit. And I used to be able to time my PMT/rage and go 'oh thats why I'm so wound up' but now it appears I can have pre-menstrual tension whilst I'm actually bastard menstruating, to add insult to injury!!

My doctor is happy to give me HRT but was all like 'yeah you can have it if you want it', no actual advice on offer at all.

Just another one to reiterate that a stand alone bloody test means absolutely nothing with diagnosing the menopause as one of the main issues it the wildly fluctuating hormones levels!!
Also, don’t be robbed off with antidepressants....we are not mad!!!! X

Has anyone else had thinning eyebrows? My eyebrows resemble an over plucked chicken! I have a particularly fetching left eyebrow with a bald bit in the middle.

I wear makeup everyday and now have to colour in my eyebrows! Teen Dd finds it hilarious when I get out the shower and likes to tell me that I have washed my eyebrows away, ratbag, I tell her these joys await her.

I also have fatigue and can never think of the name for things anymore. I went to my GP about it four years ago and he did a dementia test, which apparently I passed and then told me I was working too hard and also doing too much. His answer was anti depressants, I chucked the prescription in the surgery bin!

I have been trying to do less at home and get Dp to do more. It has made no difference to the brain fog or fatigue (or the rage), or the swearing which seems to be my new hobby, I never used to swear .

Now I am thinking that I have probably been peri for the last four years. The GP didn’t even suggest it and as I have regular (if heavier) periods and no hot flushes, I didn’t think it could be menopause.

After reading this thread I think I am going to book an appointment with another GP.

@Tinty I’m sure I read somewhere that eyebrow thinning can be a sign of hypothyroidism, especially missing bits.

@CaptainAwkward.
Thank you, I thought that too, but my very (un)helpful GP said he had seen much worse and my blood tests were in the ok range (just) and I haven’t put on weight so it couldn’t possibly be hypothyroidism. . So I just wondered if anyone else had thinning eyebrows?

And I’ll add in Frozen Shoulder 😭