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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Perimenopause: why did I not know I’d feel this shit?

269 replies

CaptainAwkward · 28/04/2021 13:23

Christ I’m tired. It feels exactly like the bone deep aching fatigue of my early pregnancies (definitely not up the duff before anyone asks!)

Why isn’t common knowledge how rubbish it can be? Well, it’s obviously the patriarchal medical/social model that dismisses ‘women’s problems’.
I’ve got the GP in a couple of weeks who has my blood results and will hopefully prescribe HRT.

Any tips?

OP posts:
postcardfromme · 29/04/2021 11:23

Following. This all makes so much sense

MrsMaizel · 29/04/2021 11:32

I don't know if people are aware but you don't need to stop taking HRT . You can continue . I saw Dr Tina Peers who started me on it and then like another poster the NHS took it up on regular prescription . I am appalled at the flippant attitude taken by most of the female young GP doctors I have at my surgery . I think " just you wait " . My advice is if you can afford it is go to a menopause clinic or specialist doctor . I can assure you I'm not connected to this doctor or clinic other than being a very happy patient .
www.menopauseconsultancy.co.uk

Tallpaulwho · 29/04/2021 12:07

I have been having issues for a couple of years now, but all have worsened in the past six months. Started getting palpitations a lot, had an ecg and bloods done at GP, were fine so never had anything done about it. I find I can't have any caffeine and very little alcohol as it sets off the palpitations. And now more recently I am getting migrains, all the damn time, about 5 a week. My migraines were always hormonal before. Have seen GP about them too, but never has menopause or peri been mentioned to me. I am 47.

I have an implant in which I have asked to get out early as I need to know what is going on with my periods. I also have ramped up anxiety and difficulty losing any weight. Lots of bloating round my middle. Put all these things together and its obvious to me its peri menopause, but GP just looks at individual issues, and treats (or dismisses) them, no linking them together.

I hope when my implant is out I can maybe get a better idea of what going on, and head back to GP for help. I just fell a complete mess all the time for the past six months now. I am so fed up.

the80sweregreat · 29/04/2021 12:13

It is horrible and I can sympathize. Once my periods stopped completely I did start to feel a bit better , but I know this isn't the case for everyone. It just takes a while before that happens unfortunately. It is shit.

Look into some supplements. They helped me. My doctor just suggested HRT but I didn't want to try that but others say it's great.

Puffalicious · 29/04/2021 12:45

Noone answered about the reported weight gain on HRT? Anyone?

Londontown12 · 29/04/2021 13:08

@Puffalicious
Been on Hrt since October 2020 no weight gain for me ! X

FickleFingerOfCake · 29/04/2021 13:13

CaptainAwkward
Another thing has been migraines that have made the vision in my right eye go. It stays fuzzy for a while then slowly returns

Apologies if this is missing the point but have you had a recent eye test or spoken to an optician at all about this? Any loss of vision, even temporary, needs checking out and should be taken seriously by whoever you speak to. (I work in optics hence sticking my nose in...)

Puffalicious · 29/04/2021 14:02

[quote Hairobsessed123]@Puffalicious
Been on Hrt since October 2020 no weight gain for me ! X[/quote]
Thanks Hairobessessed asthat would be my worst nightmare.

Eyevorbig0ne · 29/04/2021 14:40

@serin are you me?
Practically the same, I've changed and everything and everyone pisses me off.
Everywhere is so busy I don't want to go anywhere..
I'm paranoid, angry, sad, anxious it's awful.
I cannot see my ltp remaining with me. I don't want sex.
I'm seriously doubtful I'll keep my job.
I can't find joy in much. My cat made me happy but she's dead 😭
Joints are painful, grip is weaker and my hand goes into claw spasms which I hide. I'm often very cold.
Hair is thinning. Labels itch like crazy. Periods more frequently but flow is the same.
I'm struggling to raise my trans teen and am finding the school very frustrating.
I'm watching catastrophe during my last hour of work...

BillieSpain · 29/04/2021 15:30

@Puffalicious

Noone answered about the reported weight gain on HRT? Anyone?
The opposite for me. My figure went back almost to normal, the bloating/fat stomach stopped. I am skinny anyway, but ANY weight would go to my stomach, I looked like a weeble.

Much better now.

Molly499 · 29/04/2021 15:58

*Molly499
I suffered terribly for ages, my doctor begged me not to have HRT because apparently when you come off it the symptoms are much worse and you are just delaying. I tried some homeopathic stuff with some success but the thing that worked for me was a drug call Abufene which you can buy over the counter in France - www.soin-et-nature.com/en/menopause/9277-abufene-400-mg-menopause.html

The information is in English but I have not found it in the UK so would buy it online once I was back in the UK. This literally saved my life and I took it for years with a reducing dose, no hormones so no risk of breast cancer of which I have family history.

I would urge anyone on HRT to have frequent mammograms as the link to breast cancer is quite bad.
This is appalling advice. The increase in breast cancer with HRT for low-risk women is approximately the same as the increase in risk from drinking a couple of glasses of wine a night (and very few people think twice before doing that!)*

My Mum had breast cancer and was told it was directly related to years of HRT treatment.

DinosaurDiana · 29/04/2021 16:03

I was having palpitations and put up with them as I thought it was peri.
Found out my ferritin was in my boots, and they’ve gone since I’ve been on ferrous Fumarate.
So has the breathlessness form going upstairs and long walks, and the tingling hands/arms.

Deux · 29/04/2021 16:29

@Puffalicious

Noone answered about the reported weight gain on HRT? Anyone?
I haven’t gained any weight on HRT. I do find though that it’s the progesterone that can cause my appetite to increase so maybe consider a separate estrogen and progestogen?

My waist returned when I started on testosterone.

sugarlost · 29/04/2021 19:20

I going to start taking my vitamins again!
I had the feeling of my bones aching...I just feel unwell and upset!

ghostyslovesheets · 29/04/2021 19:28

HRT - started it last year - gained weight quickly so stopped - started again about 6 months ago as symptoms were just shit - different HRT - no weight gain and I FEEL amazing - and very frisky!

MrsMaizel · 29/04/2021 21:30

@Puffalicious

Noone answered about the reported weight gain on HRT? Anyone?
Not for me but it's just a general slow down of your metabolic rate as you age although perhaps you eat more if you are happier ?
MrsMaizel · 29/04/2021 21:35

@Molly499

*Molly499 I suffered terribly for ages, my doctor begged me not to have HRT because apparently when you come off it the symptoms are much worse and you are just delaying. I tried some homeopathic stuff with some success but the thing that worked for me was a drug call Abufene which you can buy over the counter in France - www.soin-et-nature.com/en/menopause/9277-abufene-400-mg-menopause.html

The information is in English but I have not found it in the UK so would buy it online once I was back in the UK. This literally saved my life and I took it for years with a reducing dose, no hormones so no risk of breast cancer of which I have family history.

I would urge anyone on HRT to have frequent mammograms as the link to breast cancer is quite bad.
This is appalling advice. The increase in breast cancer with HRT for low-risk women is approximately the same as the increase in risk from drinking a couple of glasses of wine a night (and very few people think twice before doing that!)*

My Mum had breast cancer and was told it was directly related to years of HRT treatment.

assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/5d680409e5274a1711fbe65a/Table1.pdf Have a look at the official stats on this .
WineGetsMeThroughIt · 29/04/2021 21:52

I'm turning 40 this year and wondering if this may be my problem. I have been suffering from extreme anxiety for months. So much so that I hd to take time off work. I can't concentrate (this was always hard as I also believe I have ADHD) but this year has been so much worse but I just figured it was because I was working from home for the past year and a half. My children and husband annoy the fuck out of me and I experience intense rage on a daily basis. I feel awful for it. I have to leave the room so I stop yelling. My eyes are itchy as hell all the time - I assumed maybe hayfever. My period is normally around the 30 day mark, but I've hit 34 and it's still not here. I also have PCOS and endometriosis so my periods have always been a bit out of whack. My energy levels were super super low this past year as well. I often had to have an afternoon nap.

How do I know if I'm in peri-menopause? My mum and I aren't close and she lives in another country. I don't have anyone else to talk to about this and no one seems to bloody talk about it. This is really the first I've read. I always thought you hit menopause about 50 and your periods just tapered off. Didn't know I'd be dealing with all this shit. It's making me so anxious and sad that this is what my life has come to now. Dealing with all this plus weight gain and all the shit that comes with aging. And I'm not even bloody 40 yet 😩😩😩

OhWhyNot · 29/04/2021 22:14

My symptoms are not too bad and hoping they won’t get worse

But the itchy skin is horrendous I scratch myself until I bleed at times

An odd thing wine goes to my head really quickly (one glass I feel quite tipsy) and I’m sure I’m more sensitive to medicines

SinisterBumFacedCat · 29/04/2021 23:30

Has anyone had success with HRT for itchy skin because l am finding this the hardest of all?

Puffalicious · 29/04/2021 23:31

Thanks for the replies about weight.

Maggiesfarm · 29/04/2021 23:40

I couldn't stand having itchy skin. There must surely be something that gives relief - Oil of Evening Primrose, taken in capsule form and applied locally to the skin might help. It is marvellous for urticaria, eczema and such like. I've had both but not with the peri-menopause, I only had flushes with that.

Deux · 29/04/2021 23:43

@SinisterBumFacedCat

Has anyone had success with HRT for itchy skin because l am finding this the hardest of all?
My itchy skin disappeared when I started oestrogen. It was especially bad on my stomach and sides.
Deux · 29/04/2021 23:51

@WineGetsMeThroughIt

I'm turning 40 this year and wondering if this may be my problem. I have been suffering from extreme anxiety for months. So much so that I hd to take time off work. I can't concentrate (this was always hard as I also believe I have ADHD) but this year has been so much worse but I just figured it was because I was working from home for the past year and a half. My children and husband annoy the fuck out of me and I experience intense rage on a daily basis. I feel awful for it. I have to leave the room so I stop yelling. My eyes are itchy as hell all the time - I assumed maybe hayfever. My period is normally around the 30 day mark, but I've hit 34 and it's still not here. I also have PCOS and endometriosis so my periods have always been a bit out of whack. My energy levels were super super low this past year as well. I often had to have an afternoon nap.

How do I know if I'm in peri-menopause? My mum and I aren't close and she lives in another country. I don't have anyone else to talk to about this and no one seems to bloody talk about it. This is really the first I've read. I always thought you hit menopause about 50 and your periods just tapered off. Didn't know I'd be dealing with all this shit. It's making me so anxious and sad that this is what my life has come to now. Dealing with all this plus weight gain and all the shit that comes with aging. And I'm not even bloody 40 yet 😩😩😩

It could very well be perimenopause as peri is the 10 years leading up to periods stopping. The average age of menopause is 51 so for all women from early 40s onwards is the perimenopausal period.

It’d be worth getting some blood tests to rule out other things. Also have a read up on progesterone intolerance. A lot of women are very sensitive to progesterone and it’s progesterone that causes PMT. my doctor calls it the angry hormone. It is possible to use oestrogen gel in second half of cycle but not sure if a GP would prescribe. For me, my PMT morphed into lasting for about 2 weeks. I’m very intolerant to progesterone.

stressfuljune · 30/04/2021 00:21

I'm in this club. Early 50s. Feel 40