Perimenopause: why did I not know I’d feel this shit?

[CaptainAwkward]

Christ I’m tired. It feels exactly like the bone deep aching fatigue of my early pregnancies (definitely not up the duff before anyone asks!)

Why isn’t common knowledge how rubbish it can be? Well, it’s obviously the patriarchal medical/social model that dismisses ‘women’s problems’.
I’ve got the GP in a couple of weeks who has my blood results and will hopefully prescribe HRT.

Any tips?

@Divebar2021

My mum was a menopause trained nurse and this dependence on blood tests used to drive her nuts. Blood tests are a snap shot of one day and shouldn’t be used in isolation. If the GP is any good they will consider all the symptoms together not just rely on one test.

The same applies for hypothyroidism. It really annoys me to be told I'm perfectly medicated, or even over-medicated on the results of a blood test when all my symptoms say otherwise. I think the only medical people that should have a say on treatment for things like this are those with the actual condition.

I'm 53 and started HRT 5 months ago. I feel like a new person. My sleepless nights are gone as is my low mood. Life had started to feel pointless/bland, but I now can cope with life (even with some very stressful family situations recently) and feel overall very positive...how I used to be in my 30's. I'm on patches, and needed to move from 50mg to 75mg to really benefit. I'm in Ireland and my GP was fantastic. She had attended HRT training before Christmas and was really well informed. I just wish I had started 5 years ago. I would also recommend the NICE guidelines. I printed a copy out and brought them to my appointment, but didn't need them as my GP was so open to HRT.

I think I'm about 2 years into this hell. I want to cry.
The brain fog ,periods all over the place and skin reacts to most things I've always used .I've no idea what to use skincare wise .

*can't remember a time in my life when I didn't know that "The Change" can be exhausting and difficult. I'm shocked that people don't know this. I'm over 50 now.

btw: I am not exhausted at all. My peri has been easy peasy so far*

Good for you
Like you OP I thought menopause was hot flushes & rage and I had neither!
My main symptoms were anxiety & night sweats but agree with you at the start it is utterly shit.
HRT changed my life

Had to go back 3 times to get HRT, it sorted out the sleeplessness/ brain fog/ fatigue, but not until I'd had an HR review for sick leave taken, which had never happened to me before

I’m not thick about my body (can track my fertility, know about endocrinology etc etc) but one nearly only hears about the ‘classic’ symptoms: hot sweats, brain fog, pmt, wonky periods. Not fatigue, nosebleeds, migraines and anxiety.

I was fobbed off by two Drs, the third listened and helped.
The first two were women, a bit older than me, the third was a man!
I wouldn't have expected that.

...plus the whole ‘peri’ bit!

I knew plenty about menopause, so I thought, but nothing about peri. I’m delighted for the poster up thread who is breezing through it and can’t believe none of us knew everything about peri (or that it even existed)

40 btw, and apart from the fatigue I wish someone had warned me about the crippling anxiety. It’s deeply shit.

The appointment was great! The doctor talked me through it in great detail, taking into account my history of extreme PMS too. I have HRT arriving by Friday - I really feel this was worth the money, the doctor was so knowledgeable and had the time to discuss everything with me in detail.

I’ve just started on HRT patches. My main symptom was hot flushes, especially at night which left me exhausted. I had a hysterectomy 5 years ago (I’m 49) due to never ending heavy bleeding. No blood tests needed, the GP just went through the risks and types or HRT and then writes prescription.

I am 40 and in the last 2 yrs my periods have changed from very light & extremely irregular to much heavier, longer, big clots and more regular. I get palpitations, increased anxiety, feel like shit at different times, gastric/digestive issues, insomnia, my resting hr fluctuates massively over my cycle etc. I was wondering if this is maybe peri menopause? Some people have said I’m too young but I don’t know?

I’m 44 been in HRT since October last year ! Made a huge difference to my life .
Please please push do not be fobbed off with anti depressants !!
I had blood tests and all was normal ! But low moods feeling hot all the time anxiety and sleepless nights and heavy periods are peri menopause symptoms.
My dr tried to give me anti depressants medication but I refused and said I’m not depressed it’s my hormones then offered me the contraception again I refused and asked for HRT !
Be firm we do not have to suffer needlessly xxx

40: start of peri with sudden onset of alarming cardiac issue (AF)
42: night sweats (to the point I would have to change my pjs) rage, worsening hayvfever, itching, tried hrt in desperation - this caused my already bad and rare type hormonal migraines to become unbearable. Tried mirena. 6 months of bleeding. Migraines horrendous.
Tried hrt patches and then gel - still had awful migraines which make me a stroke risk.
45: periods go haywire: bleeding 3 times a month.
Had an endometrial ablation.
Didn't work -
Still bleeding but it is lighter and only lasts 2/3 days.
48: digestive issues, aches and pains, joint issues, ovulation pain, horrid mood swings
Inability to lose weight.
I am SO over peri
Bring on menopause!

I'm so exhausted, difficulty concentrating, anxiety, achy bones...I think I'm going through it too.
I'm worried I'll have no work life balance at this rate.... work takes all the energy I have!

Many GPs don't seem to understand much about it.

The worst thing for me was the dry eyes. My eyes would start streaming around 8.30 at night and I was unable to drive, which was a huge problem. Reported it to GP and they sent me to the eye hospital and for a brain scan!!! It was just dry eyes caused by perimenopause hormone imbalances.

And having spent my entire life wishing I could just press a button and have my whole period in one go...I've recently discovered that's not so great.

Cheers for that one @MintyCedric - I just snorted out loud and then had to fib when my 18yo DS asked what I was laughing at

43 and perimiserable here. Thoroughly, utterly browned off with the whole thing. The constant fucking itching that kicks in at night is my favourite symptom. That and the balding hairline.

God the itching is hideous

@Divebar2021

My mum was a menopause trained nurse and this dependence on blood tests used to drive her nuts. Blood tests are a snap shot of one day and shouldn’t be used in isolation. If the GP is any good they will consider all the symptoms together not just rely on one test.

So much this. That's one GP at my surgery who just dismisses everything I say. Blood test within the normal range, can't be peri menopause. Actually she doesn't even seem to acknowledge that it's a thing. It's menopause or nothing and as I'm still having periods it's nothing.

The other GP is fantastic, listens to me, says the blood test is within the normal range but that doesn't tell them what was normal for me. After discussion I went for the Mirena, which thankfully stopped the flooding, not had a night sweat since having it either.

Seeing the right person makes such a difference. If anything changes I know which GP I'll be asking to see.

You ladies are cheering me right up! I have SO. MUCH. RAGE. I can’t stand to hear myself ranting. Absolutely exhausted so much of the time, quick to tears, aching joints, absolutely no motivation... I’m mid forties.

Sounds horrible. I was very lucky - my mother had a good menopause at 47 - I had a bad peri at the same age with terrible heavy periods but luckily no other symptoms, but periods continued on and off until 56!! It is so wonderful when you finally get through it. Try not to take HRT because eventually you will have to come off it and go through the same symptoms (so I have heard).

Has anyone else had to cut all the labels out of their collars because of the fucking itching they suddenly cause?

Mystifying.

I found my people at last!!! I’m 42 and my periods have just gone nuts. Lasting for 10 days?! And the rage with them, a dear mother of God and that we donkey it’s shit. I’m so glad that at least one woman on this thread was prepared and knowledgeable Coz I’m not.

Oh, the rage!
I am angry about everything. Every fucking thing.
Its the patriarchy.
On the plus side I have absolutely zero fucks to give anymore. I no longer do things I don't want to do, or see people I don't want to see.
Its rather freeing.