Private school 'culture'

She sounds horrible sorry you had to go through that. When you deal with the general public you risk this. She will be coming at this with her own preconceived (wrong) ideas. I’d don’t think it’s fair to draw wider conclusions from her behaviour though (state school parent sure there are difficult people in both sectors).

Though yes guess in the private school the parent is a “client” to be placated...different dynamic at state

I think she sounds like someone who is just rude and selfish. I've known people from very posh AND very working-class backgrounds who behaved just like this. Nothing to be done except spend as little time as possible with them.

Sorry that you don't feel more backed up by your team.

Nothing to do with private schools. Just a very rude woman.

I wouldn't say it were specifically private school culture, although certain people with money have the attitude that anyone in a customer based role is lowly and a bit thick - especially if they are young. I work in a shop - have done for years - and occasionally get this. Less so now I am older .

I hate it when managers do this. It should not be part of the job and, in the end, it was fruitless as she couldn't be pleased anyway.

Just be glad to be rid of her. Poor child, having her as a parent

In my experience, yes. Taking money for schooling. Is a business and means that the school and services are answerable to parents in a way they aren’t otherwise, and there are some incredibly entitled rich parents out there.

Having not been to one myself, I sent DD to a well known private school. There were some mums like that. She's now at a state school in Belfast and if anything there are more mums like that, which did surprise me. Their child is precious, can do no wrong, the teachers aren't up to scratch, too much homework for their little darling...the parents Facebook page is clogged with complaints.

Unfortunately I think people like this are found in all walks of life.

So she sends her daughter to a private school.

What else is unique about this woman? Does she drive a Merc? Maybe this is a thing with Merc drivers?

Is she overweight? Could be a problem with large people?

Or maybe she's skinny - well they're ALWAYS troublemakers aren't they...

Or perhaps it's an accent? Anyone who talks differently .....

You poor thing. What a shitty person, and of course she'll only get worse because no one will pull her up on it. I don't think it's a private school thing - I've seen both an dif anything, to my surprise there was more of a sense of entitlement at the state than the private school. Having said that, I guess it depends on the school. But mainly its just because some people, like that mum, are right rude twats. Hopefully you never have to deal with her again...

Nothing to do with private schools. Just a very rude woman.

This.
Rude people come from all backgrounds and income brackets. Or maybe you just wanted to have a go at privately educated people.

This is NOTHING to do her being a private school parent and EVERYTHING to do with this woman being an arsehole.

At private schools- the parent and DC are the clients. It is up to the school and teachers to meet their needs and expectations.

This is overall much better than state schools where teachers have no incentive to satisfy parents. In private schools, teachers know they simply won’t have a job if parents aren’t happy.

As I say, this system works better overall but does lead to a few unfortunate situations where a parent behaves slightly unreasonably. Not worth getting annoyed about though.

I think you just encountered a rude entitled bitch. They come from all walks of life you know!

Slightly clickbaity of you to have put "private school culture" in the subject line, but you knew that when you wrote it!

OP was no having a go at people who send their kids to private schools she was asking is this the norm for people who have money to think they can treat people like this!

The OP works as a riding instructor. She's met people with money before!

I don't think the OP is asking if the woman behaved like this because it is private school culture to do so; I think her question about private school culture referred to the fact that the woman, as a customer, has been accommodated where outside of the private school connection, she would have been told to take her business elsewhere. That's how I read it anyway. In answer to that question, there are parents like this in private schools, thankfully not so many in my experience. Unfortunately, if they spoke this way to their child's Maths teacher, yes they might get away with it, especially if the school is undersubscribed...

I think some of the replies are a bit off: the OP is not characterising the mother as a 'private school parent', she's asking whether the management of the riding school are unduly lenient with abusive clients because of the money they get from working with the school. It's a fact that you will get crappy clients from every walk of life, the problem here is the riding school management not supporting its staff and bending over backwards to accommodate rude clients. Personally, I would say this is less to do with the school specifically and more to do with weak/money grabbing management, which you could get anywhere. It's still not a nice environment to work in though, but since you're freelance I guess there's not a lot more you can do beyond what you've already done in making your dissatisfaction with the handling of the incident known.

Nothing to do with private school - just a horrible person and they exist in all settings.

In terms of the school bending over backwards - I would say it depends on the school. I know of a child who was asked to leave a school based on the behaviour of their parents (regarding fee discounts during COVID), so it isn't necessarily a case of stamping your foot and getting what you want.

In oversubscribed, successful private schools the parents are scared of the staff! One of the big perceived benefits of those types of private schools is that they can and do kick kids out, and it's seen as a privilege to have a place at the school (rather than the school being grovellingly grateful for the fees).

But at smaller, less financially stable schools, the staff do have to suck up more to the parents. Fwiw there are plenty of state school parents with the "my taxes pay your wages" attitude - I don't think rich and rude are in any way synonymous.

Don’t get me wrong @ViceLikeBlip, I quite agree with heads removing DC who can’t or won’t follow rules (state or private). I’ve posted before that the head at my DS3 at a state academy will have DC out the dot if they don’t co operate.

My point was more than private school staff tend to and have to be more willing to listen to what parents actually want as the clients and listen to their needs, from my experience with DC1 and 2 at private.

The head at DS3’s state school has adopted the private approach and expects all staff to treat parents and DC as the clients.

*out the door

I used to work at a private school and this was my experience too - the school will always bend over backwards to placate the parents. It's one of the reasons I left in the end because every time a parent made an unreasonable fuss about something that I said couldn't be done, said parent would go to the HT or DHT to complain about me and then they would come back to me and tell me I had to do what was asked. On occasions this even extended to ringing Exam Boards and asking then to extend national deadlines/regulations.

Many parents actually did believe they were paying for their children to get great results even if they did no work at all!