To think it’s totally wrong to board children in another country during a global pandemic *title edited by MNHQ at OP's request*

[Totalbeach]

I live in a town with two boarding schools (junior and senior) and there’s another 3 - 18 school nearby. All are day as well as boarding. I assumed that they’d empty due to the pandemic but they are as packed as ever. As far as I understand, kids have always been able to fly home to parents as essential travel even during lockdowns etc, but many kids haven’t gone home for holidays due to quarantining restrictions either end. Pupils at the schools are largely from China but there are other nationalities too (including U.K. boarders of course).

AIBU to be totally shocked that even during a global pandemic families are willing to send their children overseas to live? I think it’s actually neglectful to the point of being deeply immoral. And I’m quite surprised that it’s even legal to have children age 7+ boarding in another country in the first place.

YABU It’s fine
YANBU It’s awful

they just have some more catching up to do than their privileged counterparts

To me this seems like jealousy, not any rational fear of boarding school Covid transmission. I thought you said that there were two adults at home and they were well looked after?

If anything, my homeschooled (with online lessons) DCs were ahead of their counterparts, especially in the first lockdown. I was almost next to them the entire time and could go over anything they didn’t understand in detail. I encouraged them to do every single extension available and came up with my own extensions if I thought the materials were too tricky.

Mine missed their friends and sports desperately but academically they did brilliantly. I assume that as a good parent (given how easily you judge others) you did the same? So your children should be ahead?

@Asposhasitgets
Thank you, I am still reading properly. And whilst I totally agree for the most part this continuing discussion may have become slightly hypothetical, I am still curious as to the thoughts and reasonings behind even an hypothetical argument. The reason I persist perhaps is because I do know of a school in my local area that had (unfortunately) quite a few children boarding throughout and for those children, it was good that they were still there and had some small sense of normality and peer company. I avoided nationalities (most have used Asian countries as an example) on purpose. But you are correct in your assertion that MOST boarding schools closed for the first lockdown. I think Janiie was also talking about the January lockdown / home-schooling period when quite a few pupils were quarantining at school.

Well now you're just making stuff up, I don't 'inflict' anything on mine. And you are being paranoid, I wasn’t being specific. In fact I had other posts in mind when I typed that. The point is as many others have pointed out that effectively parenting a 14 year old does not preclude sending them overseas to a safe and familiar environment that best meets their emotional and educational needs safely. I know plenty of children who actively wanted that environment in place of home and local schooling overseas. If you deny them that choice when there are good reasons for it and you have the resources then you are inflicting your emotional need for their presence on them.

What do you think modern Boarding Schools are like? They are no longer filled with dormitories stinking of urine with lines of weeping children sent there by emotionally stunted upper classes to be left at the mercy of bullies and abusive teachers. Pupils do actually live in warm home like units with experienced house parents who create a sense of family. As I have said it wasn’t for us but my experience does not suggest it isn’t for anyone, especially in a time of uncertainty and upheaval.

I think that you have cultivated a stereotypical view of the schools and parents and are not going to let the complicated reality of other people’s real life experience and choices get in the way. There is a lot of it about......

@Asposhasitgets very pleased to hear it! Can't believe i missed your post yesterday

Thank god for that, it did seem farfetched but you never know these days with so many thinking they're a special case.

Gees, still carrying on with the 'I had it bad, so they should, too!' under whatever pretext it is now. All the bitter, 'They think they're special!' Nah, they're just carrying on. Whatever, honestly.

Asposhasitgets point taken but this is still a thread where people are taking judgmental stands on the parenting of others when they have absolutely no experience or knowledge of the reality. I suspect that although I hate the term virtue signalling there is an element of some posters thinking they are standing up for these poor abandoned children in the face of their neglectful parents. I suggest they meet some of these children, they are perfectly able to stand up for themselves. In fact in my experience it is often why they are in U.K. boarding schools, having stood up for their choices in the face of parents who did not want them to go, even when they knew the local alternative was far from ideal. I nursed some of those stereotypes myself but having visited countless schools and been involved in the lives of pupils at a few I wouldn’t want to be the person trying to exercise their saviour complex on them.

I am commenting on China from not just experience but also academic knowledge that has undermined the judgements made from a western perspective. There are in particular very different cultural factors in the parenting of children from Confucian Societies and China in particular, choices are not just rooted in dissatisfaction with their education system but in what is regarded as important to prepare a child for success in life. The reason there is such cut throat competition to get to not just any Boarding School but certain ‘name’ schools and universities.

It’s not ‘too attached’ to want to be in the same household as your child. smile @Totalbeach

This totally depends on the situation and the child. Sometimes as a parent it is your job to find out what is best for your child and not do what you want because it is best for you.