To think it’s totally wrong to board children in another country during a global pandemic *title edited by MNHQ at OP's request*

[Totalbeach]

I live in a town with two boarding schools (junior and senior) and there’s another 3 - 18 school nearby. All are day as well as boarding. I assumed that they’d empty due to the pandemic but they are as packed as ever. As far as I understand, kids have always been able to fly home to parents as essential travel even during lockdowns etc, but many kids haven’t gone home for holidays due to quarantining restrictions either end. Pupils at the schools are largely from China but there are other nationalities too (including U.K. boarders of course).

AIBU to be totally shocked that even during a global pandemic families are willing to send their children overseas to live? I think it’s actually neglectful to the point of being deeply immoral. And I’m quite surprised that it’s even legal to have children age 7+ boarding in another country in the first place.

YABU It’s fine
YANBU It’s awful

@EileenGC

(But we learn Spanish/French and the like...)

On a side note, this is completely untrue. I’m yet to meet anyone who studied French or Spanish GCSE in the UK with whom I can hold a conversation in that language. Bilingual and A-level/university language excluded of course.

A conversation on any topic I mean, they know how to order coffees, talk about the weather and describe my green eyes and curly hair, but you couldn’t give them a French newspaper and talk about an article fluently.

The (compulsory) English we learn in other countries goes all the way up to fluent conversation. Which is obviously massively improved if the child spends some of his education in an English-speaking country.

It’s not untrue that British children learn a foreign language at school, but your absolutely right in that it certainly doesn’t mean they’ll be fluent, but I never said they were.

They don’t need to be fluent, as most people speak English in the western world. Let’s be honest, most foreign students don’t learn English because they want to learn our language, culture etc... they do it because they know it will be beneficial to them.

Insert 120p* Hong Kong quarantine rules pre Christmas required returning boarders to spend 14 days in quarantine. That is what they did. Not sure where your 22 days and 21 days came from but certainly wasn’t in force when the Boarding Schools broke up. And Hong Kong borders are tight, wrist bands, secure quarantine, testing etc. so whatever the regulation were then they were tightly enforced, in contrast to the U.K.

And as well as boarders flying back to HK I know quite a few HK (permanent) residents who came here for Christmas to be with U.K.children (school and older) who found ways to fly here and back.

Obviously I was telling them to stay away as it was obvious Boris was sending us into a horrendous wave but, well, perhaps they actually loved their children enough to take the risk

Since then Hong Kong are refusing any entrants who have been I the UK, Brazil etc in the past 21 days in addition to 21 days quarantine but that did not apply at Christmas.How nice to be one of the world’s pariah nations.....

'I don’t understand your bitterness towards families whose kids stayed in boarding during lockdown. It was hellish, but I wouldn’t wish that on others just because I had to go through it.'

Well let me try and explain. Again. There was a lockdown you see. Schools closed except for key workers (i wouldn't count a non working expat chaperoning their dh on overseas work as a key worker sorry). We had to stay at home, we had to wfh, our dc had to have home schooling. Why should boarders have carried on exactly as before, mixing with their friends and I bet playing sport and having extra curricular activities. If we needed to lockdown and have restrictions that should have applied across the board. Now call it jealousy and bitterness if you like but most people would think boarders and their absent parents carrying on as normal was taking the piss.

'know quite a few HK (permanent) residents who came here for Christmas to be with U.K.children (school and older) who found ways to fly here and back.'

@JaniieJones the problem is your posts do smack of "wah it's not fair, I was disadvantaged and others weren't". Surely it's very obvious to see how a boarding school might be more protected from COVID than a day school would be? Especially if the alternative is having kids fly in and out to and from countries where their response to the virus has been less effective?

Or would you rather feel justified in having students needing zoom lessons in the middle of the night to follow the normal lesson schedule. Also, you do know that most private school lessons were virtually unscathed and they switched to zoom almost seamlessly. So not all parents were "struggling" with homeschooling. Or does that upset you too?

I agree with you op, but I’m against boarding schools for young children. I think it’s cruel. My three cousins all went to boarding school years ago and each one has physiological issues to this day.

Now call it jealousy and bitterness if you like

You said it.

@Moonpeg

I agree with you op, but I’m against boarding schools for young children. I think it’s cruel. My three cousins all went to boarding school years ago and each one has physiological issues to this day.

I bet all 3 know the difference between psychological and physiological though.

Hong Kong quarantine rules pre Christmas required returning boarders to spend 14 days in quarantine. That is what they did. Not sure where your 22 days and 21 days came from but certainly wasn’t in force when the Boarding Schools broke up. And Hong Kong borders are tight, wrist bands, secure quarantine, testing etc. so whatever the regulation were then they were tightly enforced, in contrast to the U.K.

My information comes from living in HK but I think we're slightly at cross purposes, as I agree that at end of winter term, the inbound quarantine was 14 days.

My comment was based on the fact that from observation a lot of UK boarders didn't come back to HK at Christmas because there was already talk of a 21 day quarantine and because even 14 days was prohibitively long when some schools also wanted students to quarantine in UK prior to the Lent term starting. Also, HK was basically shut down at Christmas so no fun to be had here. A lot stayed in UK, presumably with friends or relatives. Therefore, they were then "stuck" when schools didn't reopen in Jan as expected (whether that expectation is reasonable is a whole other thread). Also, a lot of UK boarding schools wouldn't commit to providing online learning if they were open so if parents chose to bring children home at Christmas and keep them here for the Jan-Mar term, they would just have missed that term of school . Some people did therefore send their DC back early Jan.

The only way anyone got back to HK from UK after 25 December was by doing the "3+3". There was no other way, other than a couple of repatriation flights in April for the truly desperate (mandatory quarantine hotel selected is awful- you'd rather be in the government quarantine centre). There is talk that direct flights may resume mid May.

I imagine with hindsight, many parents wish they'd done it differently, but hindsight is an amazing thing. HK schools here have been closed since Jan 2020 with a few patches of part time, so if a parent had chosen to bring the child back, they'd have been putting them into an unfamiliar school and unfamiliar curriculum, 95% online, in possibly a critical year, that's if you could find a school to accept the child (Hk local private and good state schools are hugely competitive, you get in for Year 7 and you stay put- v little movement). For myself, I wish I'd come back to UK with the DC for this academic year because even losing 2 months, my DC would have had a better year overall- as it is they've had 40% of the usual in person time (assuming schools stay open until the summer holidays) and there's a lot of plexiglass screens.

I guess what I'm saying is people just had to make decisions under pressure based on what might or might not happen. There are a lot of HK specific factors that currently impact why parents might be keen to keep the BS thing going.

I think everyone is trying to do their best for their children. I don’t think that a judgemental attitude towards parents obviously trying their best is helpful. Everyone has had an awful year.

As to the difference between school, it seems to have been massive. Some had a full online curriculum immediately. Our middle DC (not boarding) didn’t have a laptop in the first wave. The headmaster emailed the parents of every single pupil to check if they had access to a laptop. He then sourced laptops for the ones who didn’t and personally drove around and delivered many of them (ours included). We had a full online curriculum day one. Our oldest who boards came home and accessed an amazing online curriculum.

I know that we were incredibly lucky with the schools. I still found it hard as our younger children had trouble concentrating and I ended up spending most of my time helping them, cooking for them or making motivational cookies. We live in a tiny flat and made the best of what we could.

I personally think that this lockdown has been horrific for children. I think that the difference in attainment has been massively increased and I find this to be an unacceptable class issue. For everyone saying that Sweden got things wrong, the main reason to keep schools open was to avoid increasing attainment difficulties between socioeconomic groups.

But I think it is a big difference between finding certain government (or school level) decisions poor and attacking other parents who are trying their best.

Insert120p Yes it was difficult to get back after Christmas, I was in on the what’s app groups trying to get flights and I really did not understand why they were all still here when it had been obvious since November that London was going to be in the grip of a horrendous wave of Covid. We were all locking down when they could have been in Hong Kong with a level of safety (political situation aside) most sane people in this country longed for.

However they were in a London where crowds were flocking the pavements, bars and restaurants pre Christmas. That level of finger in ears selfishness and stupidity was certainly not confined to boarding school parents.

As to the my children suffered therefore everyone else’s should too line of reasoning.... but that has been the level of entitlement that has characterised this country’s response to the pandemic throughout.

'As to the my children suffered therefore everyone else’s should too line of reasoning.... '

Honestly it's like pulling teeth. It isn't that my dc suffered so yours should too, more rules were in place for a reason so therefore everyone should have adhered to them, not just the plebs. To stop mixing, to stop absent parents flying about for their occasional visits, to stop dc trailing around the world trying to see their absent parents. They should have gone home and had online lessons.

They should have closed all the schools even boarding schools! except for key workers and for the trillionth time a wife holding her husband's hand abroad is not a key worker.

'but that has been the level of entitlement that has characterised this country’s response to the pandemic throughout.'

Entitlement . On a thread about parents who wouldn't even look after their own dc in a global crisis.

So what, they stop their DC’s education? You are being ridiculous.

You want to see some of these kids, some are better off here than in their own countries, especially in a pandemic.
Some kids from India are better off, surely.
Many haven't been to their home country, quite a few have relatives living in this country who act as guardians, and the kids go to them at weekends or holidays.
Why are you so bothered if it doesn't apply to you?

I wish my eldest DD had been a boarder during the most recent lockdown and I don’t resent any child or family having these advantages. They pay dearly for them

Janie Yes, entitlement. As others have said there was a scientific basis to the decision to keep Boarding Schools open based on epidemiology not emotion but clearly your emotions trump science...

There has been little to commend the behaviour of many Brits during this pandemic e.g flying off to Dubai to take Instagram photos around a pool, crowding out London streets to spread a new more virulent strain out of Kent, the mothers bunched up at the school gate at the end of my road gossiping, no masks, no social distancing, no attempt to give us the space to get past them on the way to the station and our key worker jobs (Covid testing, research and vaccination) . Yet you focus on a small number of families continuing with their educational choices in an environment that can be actually be kept safer than a normal day school.

It certainly wouldn’t be my choice but I understand that there are many perfectly valid reasons for their choices and I certainly don’t have the energy to resent them when there are so many other behaviours that are far more of a threat to my safety closer to home.

'So what, they stop their DC’s education? You are being ridiculous.'

No, they home school like everyone else had to. Jesus.

'Why are you so bothered if it doesn't apply to you?'

Because, we all should have had to adhere to the very same restrictions 🙄

Because, we all should have had to adhere to the very same restrictions By that reasoning day schools should never have been allowed to reopen when the rest of us could not were still being asked to work from home and barred from opening shops, restaurants and other businesses. Opening the schools was a clear and known threat to the safety of the rest of us but it was decided that that leaky sieve that is the series of leaky sieves that are the Covid infection control measures should be removed.

Boarding Schools represented far less risk, they were always a less leaky sieve.

I agree OP it's completley sketchy at the best of times to send such young children overseas alone, in a pandemic where its not as simple as getting on a plane ASAP its downright irresponsible. What do you do if they become severely unwell?

Well my teen is at a state school and has had a really shit time of it with the lack of f2f teaching and Zoom lessons and cancelled exams and uncertainty.

I really think she would have been better off in a boarding school with some semblance of normality going on during this past year.

@JaniieJones

Honestly it's like pulling teeth. - I agree, it really is with you! You only argue the points you choose and ignore questions you don't have an actual answer for!

rules were in place for a reason so therefore everyone should have adhered to them, not just the plebs. They should have gone home and had online lessons. - They were already at home!

To stop mixing, to stop absent parents flying about for their occasional visits, to stop dc trailing around the world trying to see their absent parents. - They didn't trail around the world did they - they stayed at school! So which was it? They stayed at school, which you don't like, or they "trailed around the world to see their parents", presumably at the place you call their home, which is where you wanted them to be!

No, they home school like everyone else had to. - for goodness sake, they did "home school" because they they live at school and school is their home

Because, we all should have had to adhere to the very same restrictions

But as I've said before (not for the trillionth time as I'm not quite as prone to exaggeration as you are). The boarders DID actually follow YOUR rules because they stayed at school, which is their HOME. And I know you said that that was sad and defensive parents say that school isn't home, but that is irrelevant. For the children, residential abode (home) is school. So please, again, tell me, which of your above "rules" were they breaking?

swimlittlefishy
Lol 😂

I know a few parents who are doing it. Lots of reasons and all of the kids that I know of have other family close by their boarding school. None of them would really give a rat's about anyone else's view thankfully.