Year 1 child had accident at school and they had no spare clothes - AIBU?

[ArtemisFlop]

I'd appreciate views about this as I'm turning it over in my mind and feel really uncomfortable (cross!)
DD in year 1 had an accident at school on Thursday, apparently not long before pick up time. This hasn't happened in year 1 before, pretty unusual for DD. In reception we took spare clothes to school but hadn't thought of it when we went back to school after the last lockdown ending in March. After-school nanny called me at work sounding quite worried and said she didn't know what to do as she has been due to take the kids to older child's activity but the TA had handed DD over to her in the playground at pick up time and DD was absolutely soaked. Nanny asked TA if they'd got some spare clothes so she could change her before coming home and TA said they don't have spare clothes and would usually just call a parent and ask them to come in with some but as it had happened so close to pick up they didn't think there'd be time. Nanny ended up bringing both kids straight home so DD could change but we live 30 minutes walk or a 15 minute bus ride from school so DD was wet through all that time plus however long it was before end of the school day that she wet herself. Nanny also told me the conversation about this took place in front of a bunch of DD's classmates and other parents. She said she felt like they just couldn't wait to hand over DD so it was someone else's problem.
I saw the TA in the playground the next day whilst handing over spare clothes for DD which I'll ask them to keep on her leg in case of any further incidents. I told her I was very surprised and disappointed they hadn't been able to offer a change of clothes. T A was apologetic but kept saying 'but I expected to see you shortly' as if the problem had been that nanny picked up and not me. I told her whether it was me or the nanny DD would have the same journey home. But the TA just said they don't have clothes for children and mumbled something about COViD. Have since received an email from the class teacher basically saying the same thing (ie sorry, not sorry).
For info this is a very large primary with a wide catchment and so there'll be many other families who don't live on the doorstep.
AIBU or should primary schools have a change of clothes for the occasional accidents and not leave children in wet clothes until parents arrive?

If you can't see that I'm not sure you should even be working in a school tbh.

Why do you assume I work in a school? I do teach, but my students are well past having wet accidents.

My point of view is strictly as a parent. And, IMO, the parent is the main fail here, for not supplying the spare clothes to be kept at school.

@Lweji

If you can't see that I'm not sure you should even be working in a school tbh. Why do you assume I work in a school? I do teach, but my students are well past having wet accidents.

My point of view is strictly as a parent. And, IMO, the parent is the main fail here, for not supplying the spare clothes to be kept at school.

Why do I assume?

Ooh because you don't believe a teacher can ever be wrong?

Well everyone else disagrees with you. And tbh, your attitude, as a teacher, is vile.

2. What would have happened if she had an accident on the bus? The trained nanny would have dealt with the situation. I'm assuming by jumping off the bus at the nearest supermarket and buying some pants and shorts.
Why didn't she do that on this occasion?

[quote Blueeyedgirl21]@Sbk28 the head of a multi academy trust I work with is on £95 plus bonuses[/quote]
And that one person is a large team?

And tbh, your attitude, as a teacher, is vile.

That is very funny indeed. My adult students will be very amused.

Op is responsible for one child. The school's is responsible for hundreds

If they didn’t have spares, they didn’t have spares.

Clothes disappear, parents don’t donate, or give to a charity shop instead of the school, I know teachers who buy spare underwear and socks because there aren’t any in school.

I always had spares when out, kids had spares on pegs.

OP should’ve thought about it and sent in spares and that goes for any other parent as well. Your child, your responsibility.

@Lweji

2. What would have happened if she had an accident on the bus? The trained nanny would have dealt with the situation. I'm assuming by jumping off the bus at the nearest supermarket and buying some pants and shorts. Why didn't she do that on this occasion?

Why didn't the nanny walk 30 minutes, hop on one leg 30 times, swim accross the channel and pop to the nearest French supermarket to get a change of clothes? Because as we all know that's SO MUCH EASIER than a school giving out a pair of trousers to a child under their care, In the actual building.

This is laughable.

@Sbk28 there are a network of VPs, exec directors etc under them who are all on £50,000 plus and all earn from doing consultancy work also.

My son, OTOH, did have spares and whatever when he needed, as I am a responsible parent. Unlike the OP.

I think her attitude is "vile", as she failed her DD and her issue is with the school.

@BluebellsGreenbells

Op is responsible for one child. The school's is responsible for hundreds

If they didn’t have spares, they didn’t have spares.

Clothes disappear, parents don’t donate, or give to a charity shop instead of the school, I know teachers who buy spare underwear and socks because there aren’t any in school.

I always had spares when out, kids had spares on pegs.

OP should’ve thought about it and sent in spares and that goes for any other parent as well. Your child, your responsibility.

Schools have a responsibility for every child in their care if they don't want to have that, they shouldn't be taking children.

@jent13c

The trained nanny did not deal appropriately in this situation. No jumping off the bus to buy clothes.

Instead, the nanny (not the school) made the child walk for thirty minutes in urine-soaked clothing.

@Lweji

My son, OTOH, did have spares and whatever when he needed, as I am a responsible parent. Unlike the OP.

I think her attitude is "vile", as she failed her DD and her issue is with the school.

Yeah so do I, but accidents happen. Maybe you are the perfect parents but there's no way in hell id want my young child in your care. You clearly have no concern for their wellbeing and are more preoccupied with vilifying parents than managing the well-being of children.

@Sbk28 I completely agree. Whilst I'd have been annoyed at the school for not having phoned me to tell me, I do think the nanny should have just gotten a taxi home to avoid the child being any more embarrassed. I definitely wouldn't have made her walk or get on a bus in wet clothes.

Why didn't the nanny walk 30 minutes, hop on one leg 30 times, swim accross the channel and pop to the nearest French supermarket to get a change of clothes? Because as we all know that's SO MUCH EASIER than a school giving out a pair of trousers to a child under their care, In the actual building.

This is laughable.

Why didn't the PA or the school swim across the channel to get clothes? Good point there... you're absolutely right.

Good job Lweji teaches adults (known as the cop out of the teacher world tbh), as she clearly dislikes kids and would rather they suffered

@Lweji

Why didn't the nanny walk 30 minutes, hop on one leg 30 times, swim accross the channel and pop to the nearest French supermarket to get a change of clothes? Because as we all know that's SO MUCH EASIER than a school giving out a pair of trousers to a child under their care, In the actual building.

This is laughable.

Why didn't the PA or the school swim across the channel to get clothes? Good point there... you're absolutely right.

The school should have clothes. And probably did. They used covid as an excuse. Not acceptable.

Yeah so do I, but accidents happen. Maybe you are the perfect parents but there's no way in hell id want my young child in your care. You clearly have no concern for their wellbeing and are more preoccupied with vilifying parents than managing the well-being of children.

This is getting so ridiculous now.
I DON'T TEACH CHILDREN. LET ALONE YOUNG CHILDREN.

(And the few times I had children in my care, other than my son, I cared brilliantly for them. Kids usually like me for some odd reason.)

Also, I despair of fellow parents that are so worried about villifying schools rather than taking responsibility as parents.

@Jellybabiesforbreakfast I completely agree with everything you have said. Also- the child shouldn't be punished whether the parent or school is at fault here. Generally this situation is avoided because pe kits would be in school and personally think this is an excellent reason to do this. Is it in the guidance not to being changing for pe then? Because all the kids are in my school......

For those saying it's unusual in year 1- I can tell you that witholding then having accidents is actually a very common reaction for children to the stress we've all been under. (Not saying this is the reason here but an argument for schools having spares).

OP I'd express disappointment in the lack of care shown and say you'll send in spares in case it should occur again so your dd can change herself. No point in pursuing if they have shown no remorse imo- they sound blinkered by covid guidelines.

Discussing the incident in front of her classmates is unprofessional.

On the assumption it happened minutes before pick-up, the lack of changing sounds like one of those things.

The covid excuse is as crap as some of the non sensical rules of covid around schools!

There is FAR less chance of catching covid from clothes than there is of 30-35 people together in a room all day with no SD. Unless the covid safe walls of schools only attend to the people breathing in it and not the actual items with very low transmission risk within it?

I've never worked in a school that doesn't have spares? Regardless of that I'd be upset about their seemingly lack of empathy for DD around this because they couldn't offer her any.

On that logic, you should have provided spare clothes just in case.
I don't think anyone is at fault here, it's just a learning experience

@Lweji

Yeah so do I, but accidents happen. Maybe you are the perfect parents but there's no way in hell id want my young child in your care. You clearly have no concern for their wellbeing and are more preoccupied with vilifying parents than managing the well-being of children.

This is getting so ridiculous now.
I DON'T TEACH CHILDREN. LET ALONE YOUNG CHILDREN.

(And the few times I had children in my care, other than my son, I cared brilliantly for them. Kids usually like me for some odd reason.)

Also, I despair of fellow parents that are so worried about villifying schools rather than taking responsibility as parents.

I'm incredibly glad. Because you'd be awful at it.

The school deserve vilifying. They did not live up to their duty of care. The child was in their care.

It makes no sense for every child to have a spare set of clothes that 99% of the time won't get used, and the school to have absolutely none.

You're trying to absolve schools of all responsibility for the children but they are responsible for them when they're in their care.

I do think the nanny should have just gotten a taxi home to avoid the child being any more embarrassed.

I'd be reluctant to take a child covered with wee on any form of public transport, bus or taxi. Ughh! Why should the unsuspecting public have to sit on wee-covered seats? Can't believe this is being suggested.

Our spare clothes stock is always running low. Parents don't always return them, especially paints and tights/leggings.

I'd encourage all parents to have some spare clothes in a bag in their child's peg. Even in covid times we want them to do this, especially as they don't have their PE kits in a bag at the moment - they come dressed in PE kits in the right days to avoid the getting changed scenario at present.

I'd also encourage parents to donate any spare clothes they might have or donate a cheap pack of pants/tights/socks each year, especially in the slightly bigger sizes. School budgets aren't used for this and they spares come from donations or staff buying them themselves quite often

If my child wet himself at school, I would expect a phone call if the school were unable to put him into spare clothes. I'm not sure how that's villifying schools? I think that's basic care. I despair at teachers thinking it's okay for children to be left in urine soaked clothes as a way to teacher the parent a lesson that they should have provided spares.