Year 1 child had accident at school and they had no spare clothes - AIBU?

[ArtemisFlop]

I'd appreciate views about this as I'm turning it over in my mind and feel really uncomfortable (cross!)
DD in year 1 had an accident at school on Thursday, apparently not long before pick up time. This hasn't happened in year 1 before, pretty unusual for DD. In reception we took spare clothes to school but hadn't thought of it when we went back to school after the last lockdown ending in March. After-school nanny called me at work sounding quite worried and said she didn't know what to do as she has been due to take the kids to older child's activity but the TA had handed DD over to her in the playground at pick up time and DD was absolutely soaked. Nanny asked TA if they'd got some spare clothes so she could change her before coming home and TA said they don't have spare clothes and would usually just call a parent and ask them to come in with some but as it had happened so close to pick up they didn't think there'd be time. Nanny ended up bringing both kids straight home so DD could change but we live 30 minutes walk or a 15 minute bus ride from school so DD was wet through all that time plus however long it was before end of the school day that she wet herself. Nanny also told me the conversation about this took place in front of a bunch of DD's classmates and other parents. She said she felt like they just couldn't wait to hand over DD so it was someone else's problem.
I saw the TA in the playground the next day whilst handing over spare clothes for DD which I'll ask them to keep on her leg in case of any further incidents. I told her I was very surprised and disappointed they hadn't been able to offer a change of clothes. T A was apologetic but kept saying 'but I expected to see you shortly' as if the problem had been that nanny picked up and not me. I told her whether it was me or the nanny DD would have the same journey home. But the TA just said they don't have clothes for children and mumbled something about COViD. Have since received an email from the class teacher basically saying the same thing (ie sorry, not sorry).
For info this is a very large primary with a wide catchment and so there'll be many other families who don't live on the doorstep.
AIBU or should primary schools have a change of clothes for the occasional accidents and not leave children in wet clothes until parents arrive?

I would be very cross. This shows that vivid implications haven't been thought through. I don't understand the covid risk of having your PE kit there.
It just seems like very OTT rules, can't these be toned down now?

I'm sorry this happened to your child. In the school I work in we do have spare clothes ( Covid isn't stopping us using them) but one issue we have is that we keep running out because parents don't return the clothes their child went home in. As a parent myself I don't understand this...surely you wash said clothes and return to school? We had issues a few weeks ago when the Primary ones were getting sodden with mud outside. We had no spare clothes left and couldn't get hold of parent. In the end we had to dress a boy in brand new trousers from the uniform stock that can be purchased by parents. We had put numerous emails out asking parents to ensure their child had spare clothing with them but parents are busy people and sometimes forget.

You could say, why didn't nanny have spare clothes in her bag/car if it's that vital. ? Not nice for your child of course but I can understand why the school didn't get her some spares during covid, and as it happened right at the end of the day. I'm surprised a year 1 had an accident, poor thing must have been humiliated :(

Rules can’t be “toned down” because covid still spreads in schools and teachers haven’t been vaccinated yet.

Either way, covid isn’t the issue here. The issue is a TA being stuck on her own at the end of the day without any spare clothes or extra staff to help her. She can’t just walk off and leave the class unattended at the end of the school day. If it’d happened a few minutes earlier it probably would have been sorted.

I'd be really upset, of course the school should have some spares and should have called you if not. Covid is no reason at all not to do this.

I work in a primary- this is really sad. How embarrassing for your dd too :-(. At the very least I'd have kept her inside and asked you in to explain rather than on the playground if it was last minute!!! Also we would use lost property clothing in this situation- surely they have something somewhere??!!

I'd completely agree sending a child home in wet clothing is not on at all. COVID does not trump safeguarding!! I treat the children in my care as I would like mine to be treated.

Also I don't understand why schools are getting chn to come in ready changed??!! It's an airborne virus- this obsession with surfaces/ clothing doesn't make sense.

I have kids sneezing on me, grabbing my hand and understandably wanting a cuddle if upset.... I think it's naive to think school staff can avoid covid. If it's in school we will be exposed. The best we can do is wear masks imo.

And with a lengthy trip home, the accident could happen anywhere between the school and the home, particularly if she was taking them to an extra activity. Why didn't the nanny take extra clothes, of have extra clothes with her for pick ups? Why did she have to get home wet?

It doesn’t have to be a parent that attends school to hand clothing in.

It could be a grandparent, aunt/uncle, family friend that stays home. Parents should at least try and have an emergency contact that’s available during school hours. What would they do if they got into a terrible situation and couldn’t collect their child? Surely it’s only normal and sensible to have a back up in place when you are a working parent.

With this situation, it may be mindblowing but back in the 90s when my Mum was nursing and found herself in this situation with one of us kids, knowing that she couldn’t leave the ward, she called up the cheapest department store, asked to be put through to the kids department, explained the situation, asked for the cheapest leggings/T-shirt combo and a packet of underwear to be set aside with her name on it, paid by card over the phone and then called a local taxi company to pick them up and drop them off at school reception. Clothes arrived in 20 minutes and only 5 mins on the phone. We weren’t rich, in fact we were struggling to get by on her part-time wage, but she believed it was important for always have £20 spare for emergencies exactly like that.

It’s even easier now. School or Mum Friends WhatsApp Group “Lily May has had an accident and I can’t get to school. Is anyone off today and able to help me get some clothes to school?” If I was off, you’d bet I’d be taking some spare clothes as dropping them in the office. Plenty of us work shifts/irregular hours/flexibly from home and have empathy for a kid that’s sitting in mess.

My friend’s newborn was 14lb. Yes. One stone. So obviously nothing she took fit him and she had nothing to take him back in and not much in the way of family to help. She FB messaged a local baby shop, they sent some clothes in an Uber. Sorted in less than an hour.

There are always ways and means.

I would be angry and upset too. I thought all schools had spare clothes, there’s usually lost property or old school uniform people have handed in? My dd had a few accidents in year 1 and school would find her some clothes even if it was too big for her.

They should have called you so you could have at least sent some clothes In for pick up time. It’s awful that they let her sit in wet clothes with all her class mates to see ☹️.

TAs don’t go home when the bell rings.

Ha, yes we do! At least in my local authority. Do you honestly think schools have the budgets to pay staff a second over the time they are needed?

People keep saying about lost property - it's unlikely lost property would ever have pants, skirts etc but even less likely during covid as children aren't charging for PE. We actually have lots of clothing in school as we take donations to give out to families as it's a very deprived area, however because if a spare of accidents we've used all of it - there isn't a single item left for the bottom half under age 11 now.

@Lweji

I'm sorry, but you're the main culprit for not supplying the spare clothes. And yet your post is very much a complaint about the school and just briefly about your part in it.

How do you expect a school to keep spare clothes? And, yes, particularly during the pandemic?

Glad your LO now has spare clothes, but you're the one who should be apologising to her.

I disagree. See above for my post where I supply spare clothes, but end up needing extra. It isn’t always that simple and some schools are not allowing bags or clothes (we had an exception due to my sons condition, most children at his school are asked to bring only lunchbox and nothing else).

If they didn't have spare clothes then they couldn't provide. Unreasonable is not an issue, it was was an accident they happen. I left clothes at school until end of year 2

That's appalling, our school has a second hand uniform shop where most of us hand things in our children have grown out of, there would be clothes in there that would fit anyone from 3-18!

I can't imagine someone with such little empathy (firstly leaving a child wet and secondly not being discreet) is the right fit for working with children.

Hello. I’m a head of year and a teacher in an inner city school without TAs and we can manage it.

OP mentioned a TA.

It’s a one off. It doesn’t happen all of the yoke.

Neither does basic humanity apparently. Get a grip.

*time

Why on earth would covid prevent them having a box of clean shorts/tops /pants ? Are clean age 6-7 clothes a known prime spreader of covid ? Can they not just tell the parent of a child who goes home in them to keep them and not bring them back, or ask them to bring them back clean in a sealed ziplock and quarantine for 72 hrs?

@lunar1

That's appalling, our school has a second hand uniform shop where most of us hand things in our children have grown out of, there would be clothes in there that would fit anyone from 3-18!

I can't imagine someone with such little empathy (firstly leaving a child wet and secondly not being discreet) is the right fit for working with children.

Completely. How could any decent person disagree?

I appreciate why you're cross, and I think schools have gone overboard with some of their 'covid'-related excuses for no longer doing certain things but, this isn't unusual. My child's school has the same policy. No spare clothes are kept on site "because of COVID". At least you're allowed to take spare clothes in - many schools aren't allowing this!

I would be very upset too op! In my children’s school I think they have a stash of uniform there just in case in most year groups! It’s often old uniform of other children that have been washed and reedy to use. The school ask for donations too - particularly in the younger years!

So infair to send your Dd out of school like that. Even if they didn’t have any spare clothes they could have rang you and you might have been able to sort some clothes to get her dressed in after school...

@C152

I appreciate why you're cross, and I think schools have gone overboard with some of their 'covid'-related excuses for no longer doing certain things but, this isn't unusual. My child's school has the same policy. No spare clothes are kept on site "because of COVID". At least you're allowed to take spare clothes in - many schools aren't allowing this!

So what happens to the children who soil themselves and have parents who won’t take clothes in?

There are too many situations where covid is being used as an excuse for crappy behaviour. He’s not unbelievable that year 1s who have been significantly disrupted through both reception and y1 might have the odd accident. Spare clothes at school at that age would seem sensible if not essential.

I’m still baffled by some of the no PE kits in school rules. 30 kids are spending time together in close proximity. I really have no idea what extra risk a PE kit is supposed to represent. Ours have been in school as normal and most people have some spare pants etc in the PE bag.

I have a year 1, It wouldn't even cross my mind to take spare clothes to school. Do you take spare clothes on every trip out??

What would happen if you were out for the day and she had an accident?

Unfortunately many parents don't return the spare clothes that are given out (precovid times as obviously not happening at the moment at all) so it does get to the point that there are non left at times. Schools don't go out buying spare clothes, they're usually ones teachers own children have grown out of and are donated, plus unclaimed lost property for the jumpers. Having said that, unless in reception, all children have a PE kit And that would have been preferable to nothing at all (though quite often parents forget to bring this in so early in the term).

Completely agree.

Some parents don’t provide, so we do.

It’s a drop in the ocean compared to what the management teams of schools earn annually. Children are the priority aren’t they?

@Jamboree01 - I honestly don't know. It hasn't happened to anyone in my child's class. Presumably the office would call the 2 emergency contacts, but I don't know what they'd do if they couldn't get hold of anyone.