Just wondering if I should be bothered about this, have a right to be bothered about it or am making a fuss over nothing.
Dp and I have been together a long time, both always worked full time, I’ve generally earned a small amount more for the majority of the time. Our money was always in a shared account, paid bills, shared the money, bought things if we needed them..never an issue from either of us as to what the other spent as neither made big purchases etc.
After years of infertility, ivf and stress, we finally were blessed with our Dd (almost 3) I only worked a few hours per week since she was born (when he returned from work) and for the last year haven’t worked (I will return to work next year when Dd is at school)
We still kept the same system of it being ‘Our’ money, never even discussed it..bills are paid, weekly amount for food, clothes/bits for Dd etc.
Last week I was clearing out a cupboard and found a tin with £70 hidden away. I didn’t say anything, but then saw this week that Dp had more money in his weekly wage (gets paid some wage weekly in cash and the rest monthly in the bank-we’re in another country and fairly normal here)
He had mentioned he was having a pay rise maybe a month or so ago. I decided not to say anything and we went clothes shopping for some summer bits for Dd. Oh the way there he said ‘Oh yeah, I had a small pay rise and was trying to save some money back for you to go shopping’ now, this just sounded like a lie and I think he knew I’d seen the tin. He then said he’d had the rise a few weeks ago, why didn’t he say anything 🤷🏻♀️
We went shopping and I didn’t mention it.
Was making dinner earlier and noticed that same tin on top of the cupboard high up (I’m a short arse so will have to get a chair to get up there and I’m guessing he thinks I won’t see it there.
Is he out of order hiding money for himself or is he entitled to because he earns it? It’s our money though still and why not just say 🤷🏻♀️
I don’t think there’s a sinister reason for it and is likely for something he wants to buy that probably costs a fair bit. Yes, he earns the money but I take care of every other thing to do with Dd, the house, bills, cooking etc.
I don’t know, it’s just made me feel strange and a bit out of control and to want my own money again.
Sorry it’s long!