AIBU to expect a teacher (primary) to know my DC DOB and congratulate on the day?

[LardiLaLardiLi]

My DS had a birthday today and his teacher hasn't said anything. I'm not sure if it's a done thing to congratulate kids in class on their birthday, though. It was when I was in school (different country). He said the school didn't know it was his BD today (he was there since nursery) and he said it didn't bother him, but he's quite shy and difficult to read, so I think he was hurt but wouldn't admit it.
WIBU to expect a teacher to say "Happy Birthday"? And would you drop a line to the teacher to remind them?

Are you actually kidding?? I’m a primary school teacher and I have enough to remember without every child’s birthday as well. Usually they come in wearing a badge or they tell me the day before so then I will wish them a happy birthday but unless you check DOBs everyday, how are we supposed to remember that?!

@Kellyread

Are you actually kidding?? I’m a primary school teacher and I have enough to remember without every child’s birthday as well. Usually they come in wearing a badge or they tell me the day before so then I will wish them a happy birthday but unless you check DOBs everyday, how are we supposed to remember that?!

Have you ever heard of a calendar

I worked as a TA in the past. In primary school classes we've always had a birthday chart on the wall with some fun way to mark the birthdays throughout the year. There was also a birthday hat that the birthday child got to wear all day - and they were sung to in assembly.
It's not too.much to ask for small kids.
At my kids' secondary school the kids friends can request a happy birthday from the head over the tannoy. He would sing if asked to.
I think it's awful to not mark a birthday, especially in primary.

Having read the other posts from current teachers I think I might be out of date. Such a shame that you don't get time any more.

@AccidentallyOnPurpose

Of course, a jazzy pencil, bootball-shaped rubber or brightly coloured bouncy balls (available 10 for £1 at Poundland) are not going to break the bank if you have a class of 30 , but they are not compulsory.

Jesus Christ!

Like I said before I'm a TA. After years in the job and excellent performance reviews I still don't take home at least £1. I don't know the kids birthdays. I do celebrate the kids birthdays though, a concept a lot of you seem unable to understand.

I buy the kids something at xmas and at the end of summer term. I buy my own stickers, I buy little things as rewards and incentives for the interventions I do. I've brought in food for the kids, I've brought in glues. I bring in my own resources sometimes, to cheer up the role play ir make it more functional (thank fuck DD has so many random toys). I top up the fund cup sometimes for whatever random thing if a kid forgot their money, or they parents refuse to give them any. Not to mention all the work I actually do and the support I give academically,mentally and emotionally.

But nope,that's not good enough. I don't care and I'm shit at my job and neglecting children and whatever other bullshit because I don't remember birthdays and I'm happy to be reminded by them,their mates,their badges,a bag of sweets or whatever.

No , pound shop stuff might not break the bank(or would it on top of everything else?) but just how much am I expected to give ?

I'm a TA equivalent in Scotland and know just how important our input is in a school. We have a different relationship with the children than the teachers do.

The original comment at the top of the thread was not directed towards support staff but to the OP's child's class teacher.

I certainly was not suggesting that you buy gifts for children but that some teachers at my school do.

Sigh. No, I don't dislike children. I had a very successful 30 years teaching and many. many happy students and parents. Not making a big fuss over birthdays did rank very low on my list of priorities though. This past year (before I finally gave up - burnt out and exhausted) I have donated and distributed food parcels to families, volunteered to teach the students who had key worker parents in my Easter holidays, supported students to fill in uni applications and finance forms because no one in their family had ever been to uni or encouraged them to apply,, and many, many things beyond my paid job descriptions.

But no. Apparently I dislike children. How pathetic.

Oh gosh.

Pre Covid all of ours went to the front in assembly and had happy birthday sung to them - in a Covid world that doesn’t happen.

I’m rubbish at remembering my nephew and nieces, best friend’s, EVERYONE’s birthday, if I was asked to remember another 32 plus the degrees to which their families celebrate or don’t celebrate birthdays (Jehovah's Witnesses, Muslims etc) my brain would implode.

I remember what they know, what their next steps of learning are, the aspects that they struggle with, their likes and dislikes, who their friends are, who they really shouldn’t sit next to, any triggers that they may have, allergies, medical needs, family situation, specific needs, gaps due to COVID, periods of absence (because they need to be caught up)...and on the list goes, but birthdays, sorry NO! Doesn’t mean I don’t do my absolute best for them though!

Perhaps send your child in with some sweets or individual cakes for friends to be given at home time (if the school allows) and everyone will say thank you, happy birthday and maybe sing.

Please don’t write an e-Mail, your child’s teacher’s time would be much better placed teaching your child than placating you and really, what will you achieve?

YABVVU

There was like 30+ kids in my children’s classes it’s a bit unrealistic and unreasonable to expect a teacher to know all their birthdays ! Send him in with a birthday badge on next year

Wow, some miserable answers. No you are not unreasonable op. They just need a simple alert on whatever system they use it have phone reminders.

@LardiLaLardiLi

My DS had a birthday today and his teacher hasn't said anything. I'm not sure if it's a done thing to congratulate kids in class on their birthday, though. It was when I was in school (different country). He said the school didn't know it was his BD today (he was there since nursery) and he said it didn't bother him, but he's quite shy and difficult to read, so I think he was hurt but wouldn't admit it. WIBU to expect a teacher to say "Happy Birthday"? And would you drop a line to the teacher to remind them?

I had a similar situation this week as DS said the teacher knows all their bdays but was surprised the teacher only realised it mid-morning when he took off his jumper and had hid birthday badge on. It was his idea to wear a badge as he wanted to stand out and sure that worked. They have birthday perks in school being first in line for going home and lunch/ play so I'm sure that makes the child speak out if the teacher forgets. Also the birthday boy/ girl chooses 2 people to sit next to them at lunch time. He learnt the hard way that the boys he chose only got close to him for this special perk but that's life.

@Stophammertime123

What a ridiculous thread. Everyone who doesn't make a fuss of birthdays in school is 'unhappy in their jobs'

The thread is not 'ridiculous' its informative. You are not compelled to read it nor respond.

If a teacher is so under pressure with the job and cannot take a few minutes to make a note of pupil's birthdays and then sing 'happy birthday' with the whole class then that is a teacher who is unhappy with their job.

Sorry but celebrating a birthday is a parent's job. If a child says it's my birthday I would certainly reply with a cheery "HappyBirthday" and we have a weekly celebration assembly when children with a birthday that week get a sticker and a clap. But more than that, no.

Exactly Honeynutloop. I know the children in my class really well, and try my best to make sure all their varying needs are met. I know which need extra reminders for things, who need extra time to process information, adaptions need to help SEN pupils, what is going on at home and who needs etc TLC, the things they need help with, all the things you have mentioned. Plus all the message give. Each morning, like who is going home with who, who needs a new reading record or set of spellings. Who lost their coat or water bottle the previous day. We try our best and really care about the children, but we can’t remember everything.

Never did this when I was at school.

As a teacher, I have a birthday wall with the kids birthdays on it. I buy 30 badges from card factory and give them each one on or the Friday before. To be fair, the kids reminded me as I often forgot to check. As a parent I think YABU to expect a teacher to remember it. Like others have said, you put the child in a badge or bring in treats.

WTF

Because teachers have nothing else to think about! Your child's birthday is special to you and your family and that's probably about it. The world does not revolve around just your child.

That's a ridiculous expectation. Wow...

I have a birthday chart on my Y5/6 classroom wall and we sing HB to them & make a bit of a fuss of them, (but no card/present) plus in assembly we sing to everyone with a birthday that week. Not that big an ask and really nice for the child I think.

Jesus, I'm a teacher and I have primary aged kids. I do not memorise all the birthdays. I do not have a "birthday wall" as I already have a list as long as my arm of "essential" displays that SLT expect to see and tick off on a list and limited display space. Making displays takes forever as it is.

Children in my class seem to always tell me it's their birthday when they come in. If they don't tell me, there are usually 4 or 5 others that will. Most wear a badge or bring sweets and we always sing Happy Birthday to them at the end of the day, although I have had kids that don't seem to like this attention.

I spend a fortune on stuff for my class. I'm in a small school and once the limited resources budget for my class I supply whiteboard pens, glue sticks. If I'm doing a science experiment or cooking I buy the stuff for it. I have a reward system in my class with prizes (which all children get a turn at) and I buy multiple of those each year. At Christmas, Easter and end of the year I buy each child a gift.

I always send my own kids to school with sweets on their birthday but I don't expect any fuss to be made of them. They're my kids so I make a fuss of them on their birthday at home.

When I worked at a school some teachers had birthday boards with who’s birthday was on which day in each month and then accordingly made an effort to celebrate it. Some teachers didn’t. I think a badge might be best in future so they know x

My kids' teachers always sang happy birthday with the class at home time or first thing in the morning. It's not hard to keep track of birthdays - the school can provide lists.

I would say if the teacher normally does this your son might feel hurt, in which case give the teacher a heads up that she/he missed one. But if they don't do this then it's not personal.

Teachers are too busy teaching to learn 30 kids birthdays and spend time congratulating them. YABU

Teachers are too busy teaching to learn 30 kids birthdays and spend time congratulating them. YABU

They don't need to learn them and it takes all of 5 seconds to say Happy Birthday.
Don't be so ridiculous.

OP I am really sad to see all those sating this is BU.
I am a teacher (secondary) snd the birthdsys are all on the system.
I just take s print off and check each day -it is really bot difficult! And always make a fuss of the child -eh they get yo leave class first with s friend, fo any choosing etc easy to find simple ways to make them feel special. Am totally mindful that for done children in chaotic families this might be the only acknowledgment they get.