AIBU to expect a teacher (primary) to know my DC DOB and congratulate on the day?

[LardiLaLardiLi]

My DS had a birthday today and his teacher hasn't said anything. I'm not sure if it's a done thing to congratulate kids in class on their birthday, though. It was when I was in school (different country). He said the school didn't know it was his BD today (he was there since nursery) and he said it didn't bother him, but he's quite shy and difficult to read, so I think he was hurt but wouldn't admit it.
WIBU to expect a teacher to say "Happy Birthday"? And would you drop a line to the teacher to remind them?

If it’s primary I am quite surprised in that almost every school I’ve been in has a birthday calendar/ poster with the birthdays on it / usually get a special mention etc. Of course teachers can’t memorise 30 Dob - which is why many do this. It’s a big deal for children and nice to be recognised- however perhaps there are reasons ( to avoid one upmanship re cakes/ presents etc when some may get none) if it is a very disparate intake. Additionally as others have said, often children bring sweets/ cakes in to mark the occasion and this is often discouraged now ( healthy diet/ dietary restrictions etc). If it “ isn’t done” in that school then you absolutely cannot email in without looking like a mad mum though!!! Nothing to stop you getting dc the biggest badge you can find for next year though ( or moving to a more pastoral school!!) ( joke)

Our teachers do, have done throughout primary school. Even in weekly assembly the children with birthdays that week all get a birthday mention from the HT too.
I don’t think it’s unreasonable though that she doesn’t and maybe the school does it a different way - like assembly time or something!

Can't believe so many people think YABU. The school my kids go to celebrate every birthday. They put together a calender at the beginning of the school year so the kids can also see when each others birthdays are. If their birthday happens to be in the school holidays they will also receive an email (to my email address of course) from the headteacher wishing them a happy birthday and saying sorry they can't celebrate with them.

People say it's unreasonable for a teacher to remember 30 odd birthdays when they are so busy.
Of course it is.
But it's not unreasonable that a teacher spend a half hour making a birthday list of the the whole group from readily available records to stick on the classroom wall.
However teachers are hammered if they don't remember protected characteristics, learning needs, family break ups, parental requests, and there will be far more than 30 of these.
So they don't have time to do a birthday list. Which is sad considering a birthday is important to a kid, and considering schools have these three word slogans conveying how much they love the kids.
So perhaps a Headteacher ought to decide that all of their teachers will do it. If it were directed from above, then it would be done.

I’m a teacher and on top of curriculum, marking, assessment and generally making sure the children in my care are safe I don’t have time to remember 29-32 (depending on how many children are in my class each year) birthdays!!! YABVU!!! Normally, parents send in sweets or something and we wish happy birthday that way, or kids tell us it’s their birthday!

🤣

This reminds me of when my son was in Year 7, September birthday so early in the school year and one of his friends said to their form teacher "Miss, Miss it's Young Wonka's birthday today, can we sing Happy Birthday?"
Form Teacher "No, there isn't time, we will have to do it another day!" 😀

My DCs teachers did in primary. They had a poster on the wall with everyone’s birthday on it. I thought it was a nice idea but didn’t expect it.

@EnoughnowIthink

It would take what, 10 minutes at the start of the school year to organise a way of being reminded

Do you know how many things we have to do at the beginning of a school year that just take 10 minutes?!

Teachers also have a birthday box with small, simple gifts (stationery, little toys, notepads etc) and they can select one

Just so I understand correctly, your expectation is that teachers should be buying gifts for children's birthdays?

@EnoughnowIthink

I think it is more about the huge responsibility we all have of educating these young people, treating them with respect, modelling behaviour we would expect from them, showing them (in a small way) that you care for them They matter. This includes the whole class singing Happy Birthday and, if they wear a birthday badge, other staff members wishing them a happy birthday, too.

Of course, a jazzy pencil, bootball-shaped rubber or brightly coloured bouncy balls (available 10 for £1 at Poundland) are not going to break the bank if you have a class of 30 , but they are not compulsory.

You sound very unhappy in your job and I am sorry about that.

@grapewine

Teachers are there to teach. They have enough to worry about beyond children's birthdays. What's sad is that it's expected that they put energy into that as well.

This is another sad comment. I am sorry @grapewine, you are very unhappy in your job, too.

At my kids schools (two different private junior schools going up to year 6) they get a happy birthday certificate at the weekly assembly (pre covid) from head of junior school and in other school they get their name in the weekly newsletter. In Reception the birthday kid got to sit on a special birthday chair all day!

For my child's last birthday I had to stay late doing parents evening. Forgive us for not remembering your little darlings birthdays.
Crazy.

FFS - I’ve taught for over 20 years and have never singled a child out for a happy birthday

comment - can you imagine if we start that and then forget one? If they had a badge on I’d say happy birthday but we wouldn’t make a fuss or sing - that’s your job.

@saraclara

It really doesn't take "just ten minutes at the beginning of the year" to collate and create a system for remembering 30 birthdays.

How do you think birthday walls (for instance) appear? They resources have to be found to make it, the display made, 30 name labels printed, and then going through the register to put dates in and the labels in the right place. That is very far from a ten minute job.

Many/most primary teachers will do it, but a parent thinking this takes ten minutes shows how they don't have a clue about the time things take and the priorities in a teacher's job.

I guess you don't think its a valuable use of time, @saraclara. Maybe I am lucky to have always worked at schools where having a small wall display of birthdays was the norm. And, every one was different!

I think they should know. How hard is it to write them on the calender at the start of the school year.

And yes, im sure they've got many other jobs to do but Christ. How joyless is this thread.

Exactly what I expected tbh.

They take treats in for the class to basically inform the teacher it is their birthday. Did you send him in empty handed? Poor little thing.

[quote Cookiecrisps]@saraclara that is very true. Also many schools dictate exactly what displays should be in each classroom. In my school we have learning walks to check the displays and there is a set list of things that are ‘allowed’ up on the walls. We have been told off for having the ‘wrong colour of paper’ on the working wall.

In terms of GDPR pre covid we were told to use only initials up on the walls in the room as parents were invited into the classrooms regularly for events.

Although this seems really petty, it is the reality of some primary schools at the moment.[/quote]
That sounds like extreme micromanaging . How awful to work in an environment where you as a teaching professional are not trusted. No wonder you don't dare have a birthday display.

@MerryMarigold

They take treats in for the class to basically inform the teacher it is their birthday. Did you send him in empty handed? Poor little thing.

That wouldn’t be allowed at my DC primary. It’d have to be done outside the classroom by a parent.

They some how manage to remember the birthdays at mines primary - who knows how ,!

There's a lot of passive-aggressive comments here.

I teach year 6. I don't have a birthday chart. Doesn't mean I don't know care about each and every child. It doesn't mean I'm unhappy in my job. To be honest, it's a reflection of the fact that birthdays aren't a big deal among my family and friends.

Some kids tell me about their birthdays, so we sing. Some don't tell me. I imagine it's because they don't want us to sing.

I had a pretty chart on the wall with birthdays when I taught reception, but I definitely don’t know the dates for everyone in my year 4 class!

Why? And what about all those who have holiday birthdays. I have taught for over 20yrs and have never seen or heard such nonsense. I actually don’t believe that you’re even a teacher. We do t have time for this.

@Toomuchtrouble4me

Why? And what about all those who have holiday birthdays. I have taught for over 20yrs and have never seen or heard such nonsense. I actually don’t believe that you’re even a teacher. We do t have time for this.

Birthdays are not nonsense when you're small.

@MarchXX Your comments are so patronising and belittling. It isn't a teachers job to "do" birthdays. I wish my colleagues a happy birthday if they mention it but I don't remember theirs. I see kids birthdays as similar.

Of course, a jazzy pencil, bootball-shaped rubber or brightly coloured bouncy balls (available 10 for £1 at Poundland) are not going to break the bank if you have a class of 30 , but they are not compulsory.

Jesus Christ!

Like I said before I'm a TA. After years in the job and excellent performance reviews I still don't take home at least £1. I don't know the kids birthdays. I do celebrate the kids birthdays though, a concept a lot of you seem unable to understand.

I buy the kids something at xmas and at the end of summer term. I buy my own stickers, I buy little things as rewards and incentives for the interventions I do. I've brought in food for the kids, I've brought in glues. I bring in my own resources sometimes, to cheer up the role play ir make it more functional (thank fuck DD has so many random toys). I top up the fund cup sometimes for whatever random thing if a kid forgot their money, or they parents refuse to give them any. Not to mention all the work I actually do and the support I give academically,mentally and emotionally.

But nope,that's not good enough. I don't care and I'm shit at my job and neglecting children and whatever other bullshit because I don't remember birthdays and I'm happy to be reminded by them,their mates,their badges,a bag of sweets or whatever.

No , pound shop stuff might not break the bank(or would it on top of everything else?) but just how much am I expected to give ?