Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to expect a teacher (primary) to know my DC DOB and congratulate on the day?

665 replies

LardiLaLardiLi · 22/04/2021 21:19

My DS had a birthday today and his teacher hasn't said anything. I'm not sure if it's a done thing to congratulate kids in class on their birthday, though. It was when I was in school (different country). He said the school didn't know it was his BD today (he was there since nursery) and he said it didn't bother him, but he's quite shy and difficult to read, so I think he was hurt but wouldn't admit it.
WIBU to expect a teacher to say "Happy Birthday"? And would you drop a line to the teacher to remind them?

OP posts:
Plumbear2 · 23/04/2021 06:46

When my kids where in primary each class had a calender on the wall with birthdays on. Everyone was sang to on their birthday or soonest day if it fell on weekends or holidays. It was lovely. Completely depends on the school.

stayingaliveisawayoflife · 23/04/2021 06:49

Ok so I am a bit OTT but I have a birthday display on my classroom wall. I usually get reminders of how many sleeps it is from the month before! I even get told when it it their mum, dad, cousin, next door neighbour, aunty Joan but she dead now's birthday!
For their birthday or their first day in school after their birthday they get to hold the wobbly singing birthday cake, we sing Happy Birthday, they tell us anything they want to about their presents, We give them a clap for each year plus an extra one for fun. I give them a birthday badge, pencil with happy birthday from your teacher on it and a credit card sized birthday card.

I used to do Key Stage birthday assemblies but we can't do those at the moment. Yes I know I probably go over the top.

Longtalljosie · 23/04/2021 06:51

Wow the teachers on here are angry.

OP - all I can tell you is that in both schools my kids have been to, it always happened in primary. There has been without fail a wall display in each classroom with kids’ birthday month on and they all sort of hop over from one side of the chart to the other. Both schools also had birthday assemblies.

I think if teachers are starting to say it’s ridiculous to expect me to know stuff about your individual child, something has gone very wrong

TheThingsWeAdmitOnMN · 23/04/2021 06:51

@sorryforswearing

I make a list of birthdays at the beginning of the school year so I know in advance when it’s a child’s birthday. The class sing to them, they get a sweet lolly and ‘Happy Birthday’ certificate (downloaded free from the internet also at beginning of the school year so they are ready and require no work on the day. It takes half an hour to organise for the whole class for a year. When it is a small child’s birthday that’s all that’s important to them on that day and it should be acknowledged, particularly as for some unfortunate children it’s the only recognition their birthday gets.
Posts like this are heart warming.💐

And it's FRIDAY 🍹🍹

Longtalljosie · 23/04/2021 06:52

@stayingaliveisawayoflife not OTT at all - this is what all my child’s teachers have done.

rc22 · 23/04/2021 06:54

At our school they all get to stand at the front of assembly on the week of their birthday and get given a birthday sticker. I make a fuss of the child on the day because they tell me it's their birthday.

Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin · 23/04/2021 06:55

This is by far my favourite ever teacher bashing thread of all time!

Littlefluffyclouds13 · 23/04/2021 06:55

@Mayra1367

😂😂😂 Go on , email the teacher , it’ll give all the staff a laugh at breaktime 😂😂
Please do! It's been a tough year for teachers, we all need a laugh Grin
TheThingsWeAdmitOnMN · 23/04/2021 06:56

@year5teacher

It’s so hilarious that I can spend literal hours of my evenings thinking about ways to support children who haven’t been able to write a sentence until they’ve got to my class, lie in bed worrying about certain other children, spend my own money on books I know they’ll like, and frankly at the moment out my relationship on the rocks because I am massively prioritising my job due to all the time they’ve missed... and because I chose to allocate the limited display space I have to a grammar display rather than a birthday one then I “can’t be arsed”. It’s actually really belittling.
@year5teacher

I'm sorry I hadn't read this post when I replied earlier or I wouldn't have posted as I did. 💐🍫

However, I do think ALL the posters saying how can they be expected to remember them all are being a bit daft. No one is expecting them to remember just load them into a calendar.

I hope you have time this weekend to soend it with your partner & do something nice together 🍸🍸🥡🥢

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 23/04/2021 06:56

I think if teachers are starting to say it’s ridiculous to expect me to know stuff about your individual child, something has gone very wrong

Is that what’s being said though? Or is it that we’re so busy thinking about each individual child’s progress in every subject along with any safeguarding concerns or SEND there may be that birthdays are one step too far?

Whoopsies · 23/04/2021 06:57

I actually don't think it's too hard to have a list of birthdays up in the classroom which can be checked each week. This is what we did when I worked in a reception class.

TheThingsWeAdmitOnMN · 23/04/2021 07:01

@LardiLaLardiLi

Poor DS. Yes I think a primary teacher should say Happy Birthday & get the class to sing/clap HB.

Putting their birthdays into a calendar takes 15 minutes at the beginning of the school year and makes the kids feel cared about.

I woukdnt email the teacher to 'remind' her no, but you could email her & tell her it was his birthday yesterday, but he wore his badge under his jumper 🙄& could she possibly, please, say HB for yesterday to him. Send in sweets if you're allowed.

Littlefluffyclouds13 · 23/04/2021 07:02

@Longtalljosie

Wow the teachers on here are angry.

OP - all I can tell you is that in both schools my kids have been to, it always happened in primary. There has been without fail a wall display in each classroom with kids’ birthday month on and they all sort of hop over from one side of the chart to the other. Both schools also had birthday assemblies.

I think if teachers are starting to say it’s ridiculous to expect me to know stuff about your individual child, something has gone very wrong

I'm far from angry my dear Grin

I would be delighted to receive an email from op about the matter, I'd then definitely be in the running for the funniest/worst email of the week!

dobidobidooo · 23/04/2021 07:04

And THIS is why I left teaching, fucking parents! I once had a mother ask me why there had been pork on the school menu twice in a weekend could we change it...do I look like the bloody cook!??No. Ffs 🤦‍♀️ OP the teacher is trying his/her best to TEACH your child, birthdays are NOT a priority, especially this year!

Londonnight · 23/04/2021 07:06

My children are all adults now, but when they were younger they were always very excited about their birthdays' and would tell anyone they met it was their birthday [ even in the lead up to the day ], so I am not sure why your child didn't go into school and tell the teacher it was their birthday? That way the teacher could have wished them happy birthday.

pippitysqueakity · 23/04/2021 07:09

I usually ask the Birthday child if they want to come up and tell the class, in case they are shy/just don’t want to. I see it on the register although usually have a display, just not this year for various reasons. Does make me laugh tho when people say but what about those with birthdays in holidays etc as tho all teachers of all years will read this thread and suddenly realise they have been missing out children every year! It is usually celebrated restrospectively in my class ,but sometimes in advance depending on timing. We have noticed some birthdays fall in holidays.

MsTSwift · 23/04/2021 07:16

Even my infant teacher in the 80s the laziest woman ever had a pretend birthday cake she would get out for every birthday and we would all sing.

At my dds bog standard large primary they had a chart on the wall of the classroom with everyone’s birthdays. I think it’s a nice thing to do.

MsTSwift · 23/04/2021 07:17

Also seems a good easy way to teach months of the year!

Looubylou · 23/04/2021 07:19

My son had a fabulous teacher at age 7, who had a Birthday Train on the wall at ceiling height, with their pictures in carriages for the month - they received a card made by class. Lovely! I was a bit surprised when next year no mention at all - then I thought actually that's real life. You don't go into work announcing your birthday. He is 10 now and as it happens, school have just started a monthly birthday celebratory Friday afternoon in their bubbles. They have one today. This was inspired by feeling sorry for children not being able to have a party during pandemic. I think there is cake and games.

Capricornandproud · 23/04/2021 07:21

Sorry Op, I’m with you!!! I think thats a disgrace.

Floweree · 23/04/2021 07:22

@Whoopsies

I actually don't think it's too hard to have a list of birthdays up in the classroom which can be checked each week. This is what we did when I worked in a reception class.
Same here, to some children it means the world and just takes a few minutes at the start of the school year.
AuntieStella · 23/04/2021 07:24

Same here, to some children it means the world and just takes a few minutes at the start of the school year

It won't mean the world if the norm in their classroom is different.

Provided of course that no-one is telling an individual child they should expect different. Which is a bit off really

howmanyhats · 23/04/2021 07:25

My DC's primary teachers have always made the effort to know when children's birthdays are and mark them.

It's a big deal to kids and teachers know this.

In reception they had a poster up with the months in and the DC's names on their birthday month.

You're getting pushback here as it's AIBU and it's full of narrow minded people who just like to have a go, sorry to say.

AuntieStella · 23/04/2021 07:26

Does make me laugh tho when people say but what about those with birthdays in holidays etc as tho all teachers of all years will read this thread and suddenly realise they have been missing out children every year!

Comment wasn't aimed for teachers

Floweree · 23/04/2021 07:26

This thread demonstrates how much teaching has changed over the years, it's sad what ridiculous targets, pointless exams at primary school and all round general pressure exerted by successive government's have done. There is nought more exciting to a lot of children than their birthday, isn't it sad that in primary school where children are all under 11, there isn't 'time' for anything outside of academics, not even a happy birthday.