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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I work for a complete narcissist..

561 replies

Pebbledashery · 22/04/2021 12:52

I'm leaving my job in a few weeks.. Currently working my notice..moving onto a new role elsewhere.
My CEO is a complete narcissist.. Today she has pushed me to the absolute limit and I've broken.. She then tells me she doesn't need me crying and putting that on her as well as everything else.
I'm on a part time contract and I'm working full time hours. I'm a single parent but never ever let my personal circumstances get in the way of work. I think I'm a hard working and professional EA. I've got 15 years of experience in the industry.
I've resigned primarily because of her.. I actually feel bullied by her. Nobody seems to tell her she behaves inappropriately or speaks awfully to colleagues.. We have no proper HR department in our company..
I hate every day I have to work here. They've kept me to my 4 weeks notice and asked me to work an extra couple of days to help because its a ridiculously busy time. I agreed because I'm a good person but now feel like telling them to stuff it. I hate it. I hate my job and I hate her. I don't respect a CEO that is a bully.
No point to this thread just wanted to vent because I've been in tears all morning.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pebbledashery · 30/04/2021 14:30

I hate the fake niceness.. My leaving presentation is going to be Cringe worthy. No doubt she'll make it all about her.

OP posts:
magicstar1 · 30/04/2021 14:36

I had a boss I got on with, but his wife was a bitch. She didn’t want the accounts / admin position but when I got it she kept interfering....kept telling me that the previous woman, Linda, had been amazing. She’d come in after work and go through my desk to see what she could complain about. One morning the boss came in shouting that I hadn’t written in tiny letters the list of cheques on the back of a lodgement slip and that it was a disaster. So I showed him the new spreadsheet I’d set up. Same with the order book that was scribbled on daily...new efficient excel document. So he ranted at her instead for stirring.
When I was leaving I offered to show her everything but she kept giving excuses why she didn’t come in. On the day of my uncles funeral I told them not to contact me...she rang 15 times which I ignored.
When I did leave she had no handover as she was “too busy” at home. After a few phone calls I got my brother to say I’d emigrated to Australia so not to ring again Grin
I did get a phone call a year later from the new person asking if I’d had problems with her. Apparently they were telling her how wonderful I was and that she couldn’t live up to me.

magicstar1 · 30/04/2021 14:39

I also worked in finance in a big bank where they were so horrible to work for. When they asked about my leaving do, I said “why would I go out with such a bunch of two faced, back stabbing bastards” and that I never wanted to see any of them again. It was great...but the nice manager had left and was my reference so I knew I’d be okay.

YukoandHiro · 30/04/2021 14:41

You're leaving. Call the GP and get signed off, don't go back.

Ahwelltoobad · 30/04/2021 14:58

Remember, there's no other logic behind her actions than wanting to mess with you, possibly break you, that is the narcissist's way. There are no valid reasons for her demands. You will get nothing for treating her with decency, because she's not rational. Think Trump. Just do the bare minimum and get out, and then enjoy your freedom! Glitterball

SpacemanDad · 30/04/2021 15:09

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius

Never mind just telling them to stuff the extra days, *@Pebbledashery* - If I were you, I'd be leaving right now, going to the GP and getting signed off with stress for the rest of your notice period. Your mental health matters too much for you to put yourself through more weeks of this.
This
Orgasmagorical · 30/04/2021 15:22

That's the breaking she wanted. And she ain't going to get it!!

Star Star Star

booksandnooks · 30/04/2021 15:23

If you're leaving anyway then do the bare minimum and only the hours you get paid for. don't be a mug!
I know its easier said than done but if they treated you better then you wouldn't be leaving.
Bullying is disgusting, in the workplace, school, home, street. let that bitch reap what she sows.

Original poster
Pebbledashery · 30/04/2021 17:29

I logged off at 4.30pm and handed over what was outstanding to a colleague who was happy to help me.. I've not told her. She's been ringing me at 5pm and my phones on divert 🤣🤣

OP posts:
Newestname001 · 30/04/2021 17:41

@Pebbledashery

I logged off at 4.30pm and handed over what was outstanding to a colleague who was happy to help me.. I've not told her. She's been ringing me at 5pm and my phones on divert 🤣🤣

Well done! Now block/mute her over the weekend so her digital presence doesn't affect your weekend - and don't be tempted to log in until five minute before your official start time next week! 🌹

nixso29 · 30/04/2021 17:46

Im having a horrible time in work atm with a bitch boss and these stories are really cheering me up, Pebbles I think you're great! I cant wait for your final farewell update and I hope it includes plenty of f*ck offs

TinaTurnoff · 30/04/2021 20:01

I’m so invested in this, and am impressed by how empowered you are sounding @Pebbledashery 💪🏼

LookItsMeAgain · 04/05/2021 08:33

Good luck this week @Pebbledashery!

Fireflygal · 04/05/2021 08:58

I worked for a narcissist whilst in a relationship with a narcissist. I think the universe was trying to tell me something about my boundaries!

I got out from the job and ultimately the relationship. Narcisstic people are not as rare as official statistics as they are rarely diagnosed.

Op, good luck

fourquenelles · 04/05/2021 09:18

I've dusted off my Mumsnet pom poms for you Pebble. You've got this!

Original poster
Pebbledashery · 04/05/2021 16:49

Thanks everyone... 4 working days count down.! She's been especially vile today... Thinks I'm going to fail in my new job pretty much and has said many times there is still a job for me at her company if it doesn't work out.
I'd rather work in the NHS and get abuse from patients thanks.. Least i won't see them again 🤣

OP posts:
Original poster
Pebbledashery · 04/05/2021 16:50

@Fireflygal

I worked for a narcissist whilst in a relationship with a narcissist. I think the universe was trying to tell me something about my boundaries!

I got out from the job and ultimately the relationship. Narcisstic people are not as rare as official statistics as they are rarely diagnosed.

Op, good luck

Are you sure you didn't replicate my life 🤣
OP posts:
MAMAW31 · 04/05/2021 16:54

Go off work with stress! Get a DR to sign you off, this sounds like hell Sad

Ohdeariedear · 04/05/2021 17:07

Pffft, she can say what she likes about you and your new job, you know it will be better simply by her not being there! Plaster your happiest face on (which should be easy as you’ve only 4 more days of this shit to tolerate) and enjoy watching her get madder and madder. You’ve got this!

Cowbells · 04/05/2021 17:13

How bizarre that she is telling you you'll fail but offering you a job back with her.

LannieDuck · 04/05/2021 17:19

4 days to go.... ignore her, ignore her...! :)

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 04/05/2021 17:47

I think it is time to look her in the eye and say, “For heaven’s sake, Bossy McFartface, stop being such a bully.” Mic drop, turn and walk away.

NotSorry · 04/05/2021 17:48

Anything she says regarding the new job I'd answer with "oh ok" and then just get on with your work - she's trying to get a rise out of you, don't let her - twat (her, not you)

Original poster
Pebbledashery · 04/05/2021 18:06

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius

I think it is time to look her in the eye and say, “For heaven’s sake, Bossy McFartface, stop being such a bully.” Mic drop, turn and walk away.
Mic drop 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
OP posts:
Original poster
Pebbledashery · 04/05/2021 18:08

She'd have a heart attack as she's never been stood up to before. She thinks she's some high flying CEO that runs multiple offices in international locations.. She's nobody

OP posts: