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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I work for a complete narcissist..

561 replies

Pebbledashery · 22/04/2021 12:52

I'm leaving my job in a few weeks.. Currently working my notice..moving onto a new role elsewhere.
My CEO is a complete narcissist.. Today she has pushed me to the absolute limit and I've broken.. She then tells me she doesn't need me crying and putting that on her as well as everything else.
I'm on a part time contract and I'm working full time hours. I'm a single parent but never ever let my personal circumstances get in the way of work. I think I'm a hard working and professional EA. I've got 15 years of experience in the industry.
I've resigned primarily because of her.. I actually feel bullied by her. Nobody seems to tell her she behaves inappropriately or speaks awfully to colleagues.. We have no proper HR department in our company..
I hate every day I have to work here. They've kept me to my 4 weeks notice and asked me to work an extra couple of days to help because its a ridiculously busy time. I agreed because I'm a good person but now feel like telling them to stuff it. I hate it. I hate my job and I hate her. I don't respect a CEO that is a bully.
No point to this thread just wanted to vent because I've been in tears all morning.

OP posts:
Horehound · 30/04/2021 11:44

She's actually crazy

WindyRose · 30/04/2021 11:45

Skeemee, totally agree. From what I read recently (sorry, can't remember where as I've been reading heaps about narcs) and it was stated that a higher percentage are female, but there weren't any figures to support the comments.

NotSorry · 30/04/2021 11:52

Yes, my narcissistic, pathological liar, boss from hell was a woman too

Pebbledashery · 30/04/2021 12:09

Honestly can't get over the fact people like this in the workplace environment. I wish we had a proper HR department where I can have a proper exit interview.. Do you think I could request one?

OP posts:
Ohdeariedear · 30/04/2021 12:30

I was just going to ask you if your hr person routinely offered exit interviews as that could be why she’s suddenly gone for the ‘you’re my friend’ angle.

Can she see your diary? Put in a 2hr slot called Exit Interview on your last day, just for shit and giggles. The sit back and see what happens 😂.

billy1966 · 30/04/2021 12:42

Does she own the company?

If she does there is hardly any point in an exit interview.

I really do think taping any further screaming at you would be good to do.

A record of her batshittery.

Pebbledashery · 30/04/2021 13:01

She's being a complete bitch this afternoon.. Asking me to make sure I have completed a priority task which will be given to me at 3.30pm and will take at least 2 hours to do, she wants it completed before I log off for the day and if I have to stay late then so be it.. Knowing I finish at 4.30pm and need to pick my daughter up.

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 30/04/2021 13:02

Just tell her you’re finishing at 4.30 so you’ll do as much as possible but if it needs to be completed then it will need to be delivered by 2pm.

Push back.

thebestnamehere · 30/04/2021 13:07

Work till 4 as you should

NotSorry · 30/04/2021 13:07

@NoSquirrels is right @Pebbledashery

You have nothing to lose - push back in a professional manner - you can do this, we've got your back!

OldBean2 · 30/04/2021 13:14

In the immortal words of Mumsnet, say, "No. I will not be able to finish this, I finish at 4:00pm.".

You could explain, "I will not be doing any extra unpaid hours and I am afraid you will need to prioritise the tasks which need completing during the time that I am available and I will do my best but I will not be encroaching into my personal time during the time that is left before I leave. This is not up for any further discussion on my part."

Pebbledashery · 30/04/2021 13:23

I just said to her I have my caring responsibilities which is why I'm contracted till 4.30pm and I'll do what I can until then but I need to leave at 4.30pm.. She's called me twice since that email and I've ignored both calls 🤣

OP posts:
Orgasmagorical · 30/04/2021 13:24

She's going out of her tiny mind because she sees you as 'winning', because she hasn't broken you.

MindBodyChocolate · 30/04/2021 13:30

You don’t have to explain. You’re contracted til 4:30 and that’s when you’ll be leaving. You’ll do what you can in the limited time available before then. The end.

Not long to go now :)

NoSquirrels · 30/04/2021 13:33

Well done! Just get in with what you’re sent and log off at 4.30 with an email about what’s outstanding. Bank holiday Monday, whoop!

ThewaterlilliesofGiverny · 30/04/2021 13:34

She should be better organised herself to have given it to you at least 2 hours before you leave shouldn’t she the silly moo!

Pebbledashery · 30/04/2021 13:46

@orgasmagorical that's what kept me going... The fact she can't say I left before my notice period is up because I'm so useless I just had to go.. That's the breaking she wanted.
And she ain't going to get it!!

OP posts:
thenewduchessofhastings · 30/04/2021 13:46

@Pebbledashery

Best foot forward for those remaining days;start counting them down and focus on the clock hitting finishing time on your last day.

Good luck

Pebbledashery · 30/04/2021 13:47

God she rings me like a lunatic.. Imagine if she had a husband!! (she doesn't)

OP posts:
Blacktothepink · 30/04/2021 14:04

What a nightmare!

Saltyslug · 30/04/2021 14:20

Give you’re self a pat on the back, the end is in sight!

NoSquirrels · 30/04/2021 14:21

Just think, by the time you log back on Tuesday morning you will basically just have one week left. Hurrah!

Pebbledashery · 30/04/2021 14:22

1 week till freedom.. I can't wait to post my update on here on my last day, 😁

OP posts:
Szyz2020 · 30/04/2021 14:24

@Pebbledashery you are doing brilliantly!! Keep your cool, hold your nerve and don’t give in. Don’t work a minute past your hours, turn off notifications and don’t check work emails until work starts again on Tuesday. You deserve a lovely weekend. You’ve got this.

To add to the stories of awful bosses ...
I worked for a (male) narc once. It was horrendous - he must have spent so much energy and time trying to make my life difficult rather than just doing his job.

His favourite thing would be to ring me up, tell me to call X or Y, tell me exactly what he wanted me to say, word for word. He could have done it himself by this time clearly.
I would get off the phone to him, ring X or Y only to find they were on another call. I would call them again to deliver the message only to find the reason they had been on a call was because Narc Boss had already rung them to say the exact spiel he’d just delivered to me. So I would look like an idiot.

I’d get off the phone to pick up a voicemail from Narc Boss demanding me to call him and questioning why I wasn’t picking the phone up to him.

When I’d ring back he’d tell me off for not having called X or Y and that he’d had to do it instead. Confused

It got to the point that I felt physically sick when his number came up on my phone. But then once I had to go abroad with him for an event and he was so nice! It was bizarre. And that didn’t make up for all the other times he was vile. I left because of him and when I told him I had a new job he put the phone down on me! He was outraged and refused to speak to me for a day (bliss).

Cowbells · 30/04/2021 14:26

@Pebbledashery

She's being a complete bitch this afternoon.. Asking me to make sure I have completed a priority task which will be given to me at 3.30pm and will take at least 2 hours to do, she wants it completed before I log off for the day and if I have to stay late then so be it.. Knowing I finish at 4.30pm and need to pick my daughter up.
Tell her this is a two-hour job and I finish at 4.30. I;ll do what I can and leave it on your desk at 4.30.