Mil claiming to be a orphan at 54.

[Thedarksideofthemoon30]

Sorry, I’m really annoyed and upset.

I’m 30 and my mum died when I was 19. My dad had a life changing stroke when I was 16, which caused him to lose his voice, leg, arm and gave him slight brain damage. He lives in assisted living now.

My husbands grandad died before Xmas, I completely understand it’s her dad and she would be devastated but she’s been wishing him dead for years.

Aibu to think that 1, you are lucky to have many years with your parents and 2, you aren’t a fucking orphan.

Argh.

BIL mopping and mowing around following the death of his mother, who he hadn't seen for months, hadn't visited in hospital, said pretty much the same - how he was an orphan and all alone in the world. His wife, daughter and three brothers were slightly

My dad died when I was 28 and my mum died when I was 44. Ok the difference is o did have good relationships with them, but after my mum died, yes I felt orphaned. It was actually life-changing realising there was no generation between me and death.

ZOMBIE THEAD!

it's something most of my friends have said when their final oarent died, however close they were or not.
So you're allowed to feel like an orphan at 30, but she isn't at 54?
YABU

Usually, I’d just say she’s expressing her grief (although I agree it’s a bit daft).

However it’s very insensitive given your experience - can you husband as her to be more considerate?

Sorry you lost your parents so young, it’s very tough.

It isn't a competition.

It’s easier to lose a parent when they’re older…my dad died last year at 87 and it wasn’t nice but it was expected.

Your MIL didn’t like her dad so she isn’t really grieving. It’s just that because a lot of us are older than you, we know that you probably think that someone in their fifties is a ‘proper adult’ and can cope with things like illness and death. And that’s a bit irritating.

And it just totally depends on the situation. I’m a single parent to two teenage aspies and my ex H is useless. I have pretty severe depression and anxiety. I need my parents but I haven’t had any support for several years and I feel abandoned. If I was a fully functioning adult with a supportive DH and more independent children, things would be very different.

I feel for you .I lost my dad when I was a child ,My DM died when I was 49 and I felt lost.My cousin felt the same when her DP died within a couple of years of each other.There is no age limit as such .The manager in Mums care home said even if they were 150 ,the shock would be as real .You expect them to go on forever and when they are gone you have to come to terms with it.

You were too young to have so much loss, and for that I am really sorry. Relatively speaking your MIL's loss was not as 'tragic' but it's still loss, and she is still an orphan. Again, not as tragic as a very young child being orphaned, but hard all the same even as an older adult.
Hopefully the fact that she had him for so long will be of a comfort to her but it doesn't negate the loss. Often when people have poor or no relationships with a parent, when that parent dies they need to grieve for the poor relationship as well as the person.
As PP said, it's not a competition. Your MIL really could do with your compassion right now. I am older than your MIL, my last remaining parent probably won't live mich longer. If I thought my DILs or SILs were taking about me like this it would add to my heartbreak.

@FinallyFluid

You sound delightful.

That’s the second one on the thread, can we please stop this! It’s so sickly.

Hello everyone. As this thread is from last April, we're going to close it to new posts.