To ask how to feed everyone?

[SleepingStandingUp]

So I had twins Dec 2019, and have a nearly 6 yo. DH went off Pat leave mod Jan and then covid hot so he was WFH since March 2020. Looking to go back to the office after May Day.

I don't know how to get three kids fed and washed, DHs dinner (and in theory mine) cooked and all ready for bed at 7.

And I know it's pathetic. I don't even have a job so there's no excuse but I can't seem to make it work even with the help of DH being WFH.

We get in from school at 4. DH in at 6. By then it's too late for the kids to eat as they're starting to get tired.

So I need to feed the 3 kids between 4-6 whilst providing supervision because the twins climb everything, house is as safety proof as possible unless it were literally bare. And they fight over every toy. And no they're not obedient enough to stop when I tell them because I'm useless.

Then I get the mat and high chairs out, put them in and they immediately try to climb out whilst I get food / get them to eat / get them to not drop it all on the food. At least one of them will barely eat and scream to be free. Then go for his big brothers food.

Meanwhile I need to have DHs dinner pretty much ready to go for 6 and ideally mine. But I can't get back in the kitchen because I need to supervise dinner, wash them and dress them.

DH, once he's eaten, takes eldest up to bed at 7 and will obv help with anything downstairs beforehand if there's time.

But it just doesn't work. I'm currently waiting for dinner to cook for us, the twins barely ate and screamed a lot, eldest had his on the sofa so he's safe from the babies and I've cried.

I know it's not hard. O know people do it and work full time and with more kids but I feel like someone's going to fall out a chair and get hurt and they're not going to eat properly and they just scream because they're unhappy and hate m3

What time will your dh have to leave the house when back in the office? Ideally he can help with breakfast or at least make it ready and set up before he leaves

I would def do earlier breakfast and early lunch for them in your shoes.
Breakfast for everyone before school run. Then at 9am when home can offer milk.
11am lunch - something on toast, with raw veg and fruit. Cheese. Yogurt. Easy prep, easy to self feed ( apart from yogurt maybe)
11.30-2/2.30 nap as usual. You can eat lunch then in piece and do simple dinner prep ( max 15 mins)

I would do dinner for all at the same time. I couldn’t be bothered cleaning up twice. Make dinner later. 6-6.30pm. That way your dh is home and can help feed twins and be around to help plate up and get everyone strapped into high chairs.

And your not lazy. Sleep when the twins nap - you deserve it. Also Friday night takeaway meal and dh cooks Saturday and sunday

My dd does it this way. Feed DC toddlers hot meal.ftom previous day microwaved. Eg Monday DC have warned through toast from Sunday, she makes Shepherds Pie for her and DH, DC have their portions warmed next day. Tuesday she and DH have fish, mashed potatoes and peas. DC have their cooked fish, mash and peas warmed through the next day. And so on. One adult baths kids and one cleans up after feeding them. Kids put into bed then they sit down to eat their meal. They eat together at weekends and I know they picnic on floor sometimes or in garden.

Have you considered a large playpen for the twins?

Sounds lovely, wow how lucky to have a child you can 'put' into bed and they stay there!

You have a routine. You dont have to change it, just tweak it. Theres no way I'd want to do twins breakfast before school run so I'd do a later lunch after nap and make that their main meal. Then finger food at teatime or some porridge.

She hasn't got room for a table! So probably not for a large play pen.

Is your eldest having a hot meal at school? If so, cool for the twins at lunchtime and make 'pack-up' for their evening meal and pop in the fridge ready for straight after the school run.

@SleepingStandingUp YABU about one thing... you are not useless! It’s bloody hard work with little ones and I can’t imagine having twins.

As other people have said give twins main meal at lunch time and older child school dinners and then do snacky tea.

Slow cookers are great, easy shove in oven meals like jacket potatoes for kids. I batch make Bolognaise, chilli etc and split it into sistema soup mugs and freeze. You then just have to ping it in microwave and cook some pasta to go with it (fresh cooks in 3 mins).
Most of all... be kind to yourself OP, you sound overwhelmed if I’m honest x

I have 7 kids and another due in a couple of months. Also run a couple of busy businesses so not a sahm. Oldest is 13 and youngest is 14 months.

They have dinner at 5.30 every school day and the little ones are in bed by 7.

I also prefer to eat all at the same time I t he week as I’m not cooking twice/eating reheated food when I can have it fresh, and it’s good to eat together as a family when you can.

It’s hard sometimes if the younger ones are into everything or being clingy but you just work around it, I use a slow cooker sometimes, occasionally I’ll make something easy that needs chucking in the oven, but usually I cook from scratch, but try to stick to things that dont take longer than 30 minutes.

I find making sure it’s not late helps, my youngest starts screaming if he’s not eaten by 5.31

they need to eat a good decent balanced diet. how this is delivered does not matter. if it comes in small chunks through the day, or picnic food or finger food or snacks, stealing the adults food as it is so much more appealing, whatever. they do not even have to eat at the same time. if the stuff you give them is flung/dropped messily, find an alternative way to give them that nutrient. (washed yogurt out of the curtains too many times, calcium deliverd through milk etc)

I would say batch cooking might help you. Batch cook bolognase, casseroles and even pasta sauce. Could you have a couple of hours at the weekend when your DH is home to do this? Or do your twins nap well so you could batch cook once or twice a week when they sleep?
Also maybe feed your twins at lunch time so they can have a finger food tea whilst your eldest has dinner (make enough of whatever the twins eat at lunch).
Sending though. I have three (no twins) and post school/dinner time is crazy time and reduced me to tears many times. It does get better.

OP, I don't think you are lazy! You have 3 children, which includes 2yo twins. 💪 to you!

I do think this is an over-stated problem tho.

You can either:

• eat with the DC before DH gets home & he'll heat up dinner himself later
• use the nap time to prep dinner.

Also, they need lunch! I know you need to get out with them but they've got to eat a proper lunch.

@Babyboomtastic no chance of changing hours, work is only open those hours

@WhatWouldTheDoctorDo @PerspicaciousGreen @Fullofthejoysofspring
Def need to get bfast earlier so they can eat again before nap.

@MayorGoodwaysChicken agree re milk, we need to rely on it less for naps and get an earlier bfast.

OP I have no advice at all as I never had 3 of those ages but I just wanted to say I think you are doing bloody brilliantly and you need to start believing this rather than being so hard on yourself.

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Fellow twin mama here, had similar age gap with my older child. Alone from 7.30am to 6PM

I'm trying to remember, it was a lot of mayhem, survival mode.

Definitely bought the Heinz baby food trays a lot as we had building work and no kitchen for 4 months at one stage.

Would do big pot of mash potatoes, to reheat a few days, packet of carrot mash,
Big pot of spaghetti bol.
Loads of veg in it . Would do 3 days worth.

Its exhausting hun, and it was just riding a wave. Go easy on yourself.

I obsessed over nutrition with my first and found it SO hard to ease off when the twins were at that age.

It will get easier.

Slack off a bit.

Have some nights where you do waffle, beans and egg, then u guys get a take way later (or have the same!)

Worst bit for me was picky eaters

Frozen veg, stir in pasta sauce, cooked chicken, egg, waffles, spaghetti bol, fruit pots, yogurts, toast, beans.....

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Cook one main meal for everyone, either for lunchtime or for 5pm/5.30 children's dinner. Put food on plate for DH to microwave when he gets home. You can eat either with children or with DH.

I think you're being pretty hard on yourself to be honest. This is temporary, in 12-18 months the babies will be much more likely to sit and watch tv for half an hour whilst you sort dinner for everyone. You just need to get through this bit is all, it doesn't have to be perfect.

In the meantime, lower your expectations a bit! Tonight my DC had a breaded fish fillet shared between them, mash (I cook potatoes in the microwave, scoop out the insides and mash in a bowl with butter, much quicker!) and a packet of frozen veg shared between them. Took 20 mins from start to finish. They ate it, it was reasonably balanced, it's fine!

Just do what you need to do to get through, batch cook, get some easy freezer foods on for days when it's all gone to shit! Also nothing wrong with having some kids ready meals in the freezer for emergencies.

I usually roast a chicken mid week, have it with sweet potatoes wedges and salad. Everyone can eat that, plus if you do a big chicken you can mix the leftovers in some pasta and sauce the next day.

Omelettes are great and take 5 minutes. Jacket potato with cheese/beans/tuna/ham.

Annabelle Karmel does a great butternut squash risotto recipe that only takes about 35 mins and freezes really well. I used to make a massive batch on a weekend and freeze, use bags if you don't have much space in the freezer. It's got lots of veg in so only needs a bit of salad on the side.

Bung some cucumber, avocado, sweet corn, raw carrots etc on the side of most stuff and you're fine!

Honestly, you're doing great!

Just to note, dont compare yourself to others. Twins are a lit of work, from the pregnancy through, so you are burnt out, not lazy. This age is chaos when both are on climbing mode and you take one off the coffee table to turn around and find the other on the kitchen table to turn around and find the other one back up on the window sill!!
You are smack in it now hun, as well as covid, and as I said, go easy on yourself. Xx you are not lazy, you are doing great

@KM38 drop is at gate, quick word with 121,home. Pick up I'm early, walk down, wait for him to come out, chat with 121, back up in the crowd, chat to other Moms and then DS is slower, sometimes needs a wee, or a sit down.

@DevonorLondon we don't have tons of space but have a play pen but they can climb out now. Literally cock a leg over. Doesn't help they're tall (and fat) so have the height (and momentum). I might have to look at taller ones. And better high hairs they can't escape.

@Palaya it's literally killing me lol. DS was non verbal and is still v quiet. Was a horrific sleeper for a while hence the 60 minute bed routine but he's QUIET. and then you creep in and it's dark and they're still so you don't even know who did it (probably T2)

@Shadow1986 prob more the bottle, they hate dummies but will empty a bottle of anything in zero time and they wake for water overnight. It's a bit chicken and egg (egg came first). I'm scared for them to not have the milk and still not eat and lose weight (they have spare I should add, they're... robust)

@Hankunamatata there's no way o can get hem up,do nappies, high chairs, food, clean, coat and put on 30 minutes. T1 isn't a fast eater, and both take a bit of time to come round.

@Caspianberg he's out at 8, so only just before us. Will Def be a joint effort to get them out. We found doing dinner at 6 T1 was just over it. And actually eating with them means I don't eat nicely, I fight T1 for my tray and dinner as they eat in high hairs in front of my chair (oh for a table!!) so I'm prob up for a later dinner and washing up tomorrow

@Ericaequites small one they can climb out. T2 can't walk yet but both can climb anything. They're tall for their age so Def need a taller one

@Phineyj their sleep over night doesn't help anything else though esp as they don't sleep through

thank you @hesma @doodleygirl

@DancyNancy thank. Ds has feeding issues so o find it triggering if they won't eat and then o get upset and it all cycles round. I feel guilty buying frozen veg beyond peas because we're not a high income family, it feels like I'm cheating. And yes to the climbing. Get OFF the TV table. Stop touching Nigel from Baby Club, he doesn't like it. Get OFF the sideboard and stop licking the wall.

There's lots of helpful and lovely comments, too many to tag so thank you.

I accept i need to get solids in the kids earlier, and then get another set of food in before nap. I'm aware they need more food pre nap but struggle. But we'll work on this. There nap is not something o can reasonably change much because they have to be up. But yes of o can fed them before bed and then do a lighter dinner.
DS has issues around food so always has something light and seperate to us so it's not like I'm cooking him a cooked dinner unfortunately.

DS will eat when I cook it so I'll try the feed kids for 5 then get them washed and dressed ready for Dad (😂) and I can do some dinner prep for us / tidy / hang and try and get the babies up to bed earlier. Then DH can leave DA and come down to eat

We usually have supper so well just be swapping that to an early snack and late dinner.

Got two weeks to practise before he goes back

I'm on my own with my two most of the time and so meal plans rule in this house on a Sunday, I batch cook for the week, e.g. Bolognaise, chilli (mild), chicken stew, pasta sauce etc.
We also have things like Baked potatoes. Just fling them in the microwaveh for 10 mins, then in the oven when you get home and they're ready to eat quickly.
My kids favourite is Tuna pasta (literally, pasta and sweetcorn cooked in a pan then add tuna and mayonnaise).
I work full time and

Re large lunch.
We get up, they have milk, we get them all ready for school and I leave at 8.15, back for 9 and then o do th bfast. They nap about 11.30-2 and then it's clean bums, stretch legs and out for 2.30ish with a buggy snack and back for 3.45-4 so they eother have a big bfast but end up with no play and learn time or a big tea

You must be exhausted, however the only way to help that is to alter your routine and find a way to get through the tough years.

Start the day earlier by 30min and ensure all kids have breakfast before school run. Home, play, change and nap at 10.45am. Wake 1.15pm with lunch ready to eat. Try to avoid popping to shop etc after school, that’s unduly stressful.

Dinner prep for kids. Five batch portions could cover mon-fri for a month. On busy days we have ready prepared restaurant quality meals delivered for DH and I, all calorie controlled and fresh... possibly something similar local to you?

Ps. No kid needs a daily bath! Save yourself.