To ask how to feed everyone?

[SleepingStandingUp]

So I had twins Dec 2019, and have a nearly 6 yo. DH went off Pat leave mod Jan and then covid hot so he was WFH since March 2020. Looking to go back to the office after May Day.

I don't know how to get three kids fed and washed, DHs dinner (and in theory mine) cooked and all ready for bed at 7.

And I know it's pathetic. I don't even have a job so there's no excuse but I can't seem to make it work even with the help of DH being WFH.

We get in from school at 4. DH in at 6. By then it's too late for the kids to eat as they're starting to get tired.

So I need to feed the 3 kids between 4-6 whilst providing supervision because the twins climb everything, house is as safety proof as possible unless it were literally bare. And they fight over every toy. And no they're not obedient enough to stop when I tell them because I'm useless.

Then I get the mat and high chairs out, put them in and they immediately try to climb out whilst I get food / get them to eat / get them to not drop it all on the food. At least one of them will barely eat and scream to be free. Then go for his big brothers food.

Meanwhile I need to have DHs dinner pretty much ready to go for 6 and ideally mine. But I can't get back in the kitchen because I need to supervise dinner, wash them and dress them.

DH, once he's eaten, takes eldest up to bed at 7 and will obv help with anything downstairs beforehand if there's time.

But it just doesn't work. I'm currently waiting for dinner to cook for us, the twins barely ate and screamed a lot, eldest had his on the sofa so he's safe from the babies and I've cried.

I know it's not hard. O know people do it and work full time and with more kids but I feel like someone's going to fall out a chair and get hurt and they're not going to eat properly and they just scream because they're unhappy and hate m3

[SleepingStandingUp]

@Xboxstolemychildren I think part of the issue is having to notgave to figure it out until now. DH went back when they were 4 weeks. People helped with school run as a had a c sec and he was WFH from about 11 weeks. It's utterly spoilt me as I've not had to suck it see since they were tiny and they slept and it was an exhausted blur

Thank you @Bodynegative, I know I need to call the HV, I keep meaning to. I will. Tried to call gp today but mine isn't in.

No@MonsterKidz I don't even have that excuse, I'm home with the kids all day. School obv for 5 yo when the pandemic isn't being, you know, pandemicy.

Thanks @picklemewalnuts. They're currently meant to be napping but are roaring at each other in their bedroom. Give me strength 😱🤣🤣🤣

[Xboxstolemychildren]

I know it is really hard, but as I said i was on my own from pregnancy so i had to get on with it. What worked for me may not work for you and you've had a lot of great advice, you just keep trying and you'll get there.

If I can remember mine were that age maybe a little older when I felt like I was at breaking point and as someone else advised, call your HV they are there to help.
I'm so glad I called mine as she had them signed up for a nursery within a few months to help me out and honestly it was the best thing i could have done for them and me, it totally changed our lives. I was able to catch up on things at home prepare meals and eventually I went back to work, 8 years later we're all still here doing well.

You've got a few weeks before your DH goes back to work, start your routine from tomorrow so you all get in the swing of things.
Good luck

[MonsterKidz]

Op, being home with the kids all day is even more difficult than being at work! My advice was just based on that assumption but now I know you’re home, my advice is different.

You get them out every morning, absolutely anything, park, toddler groups is open yet, soft play open yet, libraries, anything outdoors, you get them home and lunch and then do they nap?
While tempting to put up your feet for a bit, this is when you prepare dinner. So easy things that keep, lasagna, cottage pie, baked potatoes, pasta cakes etc, get it ready then and then once they’re up, it’s collect from school and back for dinner that’s already in the making. I used to even start dinner while my DC are their lunch so I could get it done all quicker and have that cup of tea and sit down for 10 mins while they napped.

If they don’t nap then I have no further advice!

[QuestionableMouse]

If you have space a playpen is a godsend. They can go in there with some safe toys while you get on with other things. Means you can relax a little because they're safe and not under your feet!

[GrumpyHoonMain]

6pm has always been DS’ dinner time (since he was 5 mo) because that is when we eat. He sleeps at 8pm too. I don’t think giving kids a seperate dinner time is useful because then you can’t role model table managers etc. The only time it’s useful is if you want to seperate the kids because one of them is a picky eater.

[picklemewalnuts]

It's a special time in your life, that's for sure!

Hang in there. There are better times ahead, you just need to survive long enough to see them!

I used to help at a kids' camp every summer. Harried exhausted mums would come year after year, then suddenly disappear. You'd see them, transformed, swanning around the campsite because their youngest had started school. They were taller, younger looking.... and that's why I did the kids' club, to make a safe space for them and their DC until civilisation returned!

[Heyduggee123]

@picklemewalnuts

It's a special time in your life, that's for sure!

Hang in there. There are better times ahead, you just need to survive long enough to see them!

I used to help at a kids' camp every summer. Harried exhausted mums would come year after year, then suddenly disappear. You'd see them, transformed, swanning around the campsite because their youngest had started school. They were taller, younger looking.... and that's why I did the kids' club, to make a safe space for them and their DC until civilisation returned!

😂😂😂

This is me counting down the days/weeks/months until my twins are eligible for their 30 hours

[RandomMess]

I wonder if some short term fixes can be used - DH has a cooked/much larger lunch, then snack when he comes home then you have a light easy supper together.

You make DS1 bedtime routine a little later but shorter?

The toddlers will change rapidly over the coming months. Less milk first thing and it's served in the high chair with toast or fruit or crumpet - something they like and will eat to get them shifted to eating breakfast first thing.

Remember it's what they eat over a week it doesn't matter what foods they have when really.

[Casper73]

When mine were little I’d do a proper dinner for me and my husband when the kids were in bed but do extra and then warm that up for the kids the day after.

[JonSnowIsALoser]

OP, the most important things you have to remember is that: 1) your situation is not pathetic; 2) you're not hopeless; 3) it's not true you don't have a job - housekeeping and childcare IS a job, and much harder than most other jobs too as it's exhausting 24/7 with no holiday and no pay. People make rather decently-paid careers out of looking after other people's children and houses - so don't let anyone tell you that you don't have a job.

It's very tough at the moment - few people would manage 16-month old twins and a 6-year old and all the cooking etc to the high standards you have set yourself. I can only say that it will get easier with time - in the meantime, there are plenty of great suggestions here.

My main one would be that your DH should be putting the kids to bed, settling them down and making sure they fall asleep while you cook a late dinner for him and yourself. Or you put the kids to bed while he cooks. There's no other way. Good luck

[2021ishere2021]

Be kind to yourself, the twins are at a really hard age. I am really happy to respond on your thread because I have been where you are and I got through (in part from tips I got here).


I have always fed the kids at 5:30 and sometimes I would eat at the same time (seems shockingly early now I read this thread!) DH eats whenever he gets home, usually 6-7.

I found starting my dinner early really helped. Eg I make mash in the morning because it re heats perfectly. I cook a whole bag of potatoes in one go (I think they are 5 kg) and I freeze some, the rest lasts a whole week in the fridge. I get the tray ready to just put the chicken on later.

I do a massive batch cook, this week I made 12 litres of bolonase, eat it for 2 days and then freeze a load of dinners. Your 5 year old would love to do this with you!! I took mine to the supermarket, picked the stuff and he helped me chop it in the food processor. He helped me cook it and batch freeze it too. Obviously you would need someone to remove the other 2.

By getting the batch cooking right I not have to cook a meal from scratch every other day.

Make a tray cake once a week.

Buy interesting frozen veg.

I cook a big ham at the weekend, it lasts the week.

You definitely can't be cooking 2 meals in the evening.

[SleepingStandingUp]

Admittedly cos they were awake crazy early but everyone was up, fed, washed, dressed and ready to go on time today. Even I had breakfast!! And although we still ate before bed time we've fed ("fed" given T1 throws most of it) the kids earlier and got the twins in bed earlier. Gonna try perfecting the bed earlier so that I'm then free to do dinner whilst DH does eldest.
Gonna go through and find some quick recipies over the weekend and see what I can prep early

[Caspianberg]

I think veg prep for a few days def speeds it up. Ie I just roasted a tray of Mediterranean veg yesterday and steamed whole pan of carrots and broccoli. That means as I know today is busy, I can just bung some chicken on grill later and garlic bread in oven.

I will also then give Ds some of those veg at lunch time. He is 1, he doesn’t care if it’s a slightly random meal of cheese on toast with veg on the side. He doesn’t have many teeth yet so things like raw carrot still tricky which might be the same with yours.

Those basic extra harnesses for like £5 off amazon work great in highchairs, but you can also use them in supermarket trolley seats or just as reins if you need them safely contained outside of the home

[picklemewalnuts]

Low prep easy eat food ideas...

Always put extra jacket potatoes in when the oven's on, have them next day.
Use frozen cauliflower in a dish with thick cheese poured over. It will bake in the same time as a chicken (and a jacket potato!)
As above but with broccoli and a jar of salsa.
If you add bacon on top of the broccoli/cauli dishes, you can call it a main course instead of a side.

Use chopped frozen peppers for cooking- they are as cheap as fresh and so much easier to prepare.

Pork shoulder in a pressure cooker or all day in slow cooker. Remove the fat and shred the meat. Add barbecue sauce. Lovely with a jacket or rice or in a pitta bread/bread roll.

Those all need no attention at all, and just 5 mins setting them up then serving them at the end.

[PerspicaciousGreen]

@SleepingStandingUp Well done! You've got a whole thread of people here rooting for you!