To think only some areas are full of money obsessed people?

[Sellersremorse8]

Maybe an odd one?!

We’re moving soon and I said to DH “I’m looking forward to moving somewhere where people don’t talk about money all the time - how much x property sold for, how much x earns, how much x costs.”

DH said “Everywhere is like that! Money is status. People like to show off.”

I said the area we’re in now (“up-and-come” london) wasn’t like that before it became so pricey (we’ve been here a very, very long time). That’s because, I said, people didn’t get their self-worth from their earnings when it wasn’t such a wealthy place. DH thinks I’m romanticising it.

AIBU to think that in some places people don’t talk about money constantly?! Or does everyone, everywhere?

It's hard to escape it really.

When people have a lot of it it tends to be obvious, when people don't have enough of it it's important to them so it comes up a lot.

I think there are people like that everywhere, I don't think it matter where you live or what the area's like.

Some people are like that and others aren’t. I doubt everyone is like it where you live now, you just notice the ones that are because it clashes with your values.

Yes. You get areas that are very aspirational middle class and people make snap decisions on whether you are worth knowing or their child should be allowed to play with yours based on your car and size of house. It's quite astonishing and very sad.

I think there's areas like it allover but yes to areas of london/surrey being like that. A friends private scjool here (not london) was a bit like that. We're we live isnt... but its not a wealthy area.

I so wish I could edit 🤦🏼‍♀️. I can spell...

Where I live in north wales, money isn’t really a status thing. I moved to this village nearly five years ago and it’s certainly one of the only places where no one gives a toss that I’m ‘just’ a part time receptionist. I grew up in Essex but have lived my adult life in north wales and even at 18 I noticed a real difference in people’s attitudes to money.

People round here don’t talk like that! No idea what my friends earn or what their house costs.
Round here quality of life is really valued.
In fact, a lot of people pay off their mortgages earlier and then enjoy life! No aspirations for a big expensive house here (genuinely).
When I lived in Bucks it was different though, much much prefer here. I see my kids a lot more, and that’s important to me vs out the door at 7 and not back till 7.
So no, not everywhere is like that.

I think it’s got a lot to do with who you choose to mix with. There’s aspirational middle class types everywhere. If you can find people through interest groups, etc., who aren’t obsessed with its house prices, school league tables, and the like, you might find that people are less likely to be so focussed on financial matters, and have other topics of conversation. Good luck!

I don't find this in real life. On here it is very prominent. These forums seem to be full of people earning 100k+ a year and they like to brag as well.

It's crass to ask someone what they earn or how much their house cost.

Yes! And most people that live on those areas are carbon copies of each other. They all buy the same things and try to out of each other on the latest model.

I live in a wealthy area of south London. I'm not rich we live in an ex council block on a nice street. The people are hilarious. They all: have white plantation shutters in their homes, banham locks and alarms, matching farrow and ball painted gates and doors, the mandatory Range Rover (or super car if you are really flash), very similar 3/4 carot rings, classic Rolexes, at least one pedigree dog, dress like they've robbed a boden truck! A lot of middle aged men in Lycra too.

There's no individualism just cloning the neighbours. If I had that sort of money I'd buy interesting stuff. Art, independent designer clothes, a vintage car...

I lived in a place like that, where people would only bother taking the time to speak to you after they'd seen what car you drove and if it was good enough, if not, you were snubbed.
I moved. Now I live somewhere so much better where there are few people like that and if anyone does think that way, they wouldn't show it as they'd be the odd one's out. Now I get invited to parties (pre covid) where what you do for a living is the last question you get asked not the first and your more likely to be asked how you like to spend your time and then have an interesting chat about the stuff that comes out of that.
Thank fuck

There are no expensive houses where I live so no one has anything to show off about! If you're well off you wouldn't live here.

I'm not sure it is geographical, but I disagree with your dh that people talk about money all the time, everywhere.
People I know don't. I know a lot of people, am am out and about quite a lot (well, when not in lockdown) and am a chatty, outgoing sort of a person, but I don't hear people talking about money, what they earn, what they spend on things, how much their houses are worth, ever.

In fact, growing up, it was always advised not to talk about money, religion or politics

Yes I spent an evening with my SIL’s friends in Surrey and all the conversations were about money, labels etc and they were all really flash. It’s one of the few times I couldn’t join in the conversation as we just had nothing in common.

@poppycat10

Yes. You get areas that are very aspirational middle class and people make snap decisions on whether you are worth knowing or their child should be allowed to play with yours based on your car and size of house. It's quite astonishing and very sad.

I once lived in such an area! People wouldn't speak to us as Dh wasn't on a six figure salary , wrong car etc etc. sad really.

I kind of agree with you. We live in a London suburb and money and house prices are a huge talking point, I think it's because a standard 3/4 bed house is so expensive the area tends to attract people that work in London and prioritise money and career. It's also an area where status clothing seems to be popular, think lots of Balenciaga trainers and Canada Goose coats, designer handbags.
I think some areas that are more alternative and arty tend to be less money focussed and I would love to move to an area like that. Or areas that are not commutable to the big cities perhaps.

In my ‘leafy’ part of SW London they do. It’s really boring. As soon as the kids finish school I’m off.

Nobody’s like that here. We’re five doors away from a house so grand it’s opened to the public. It’s owner is a delight and drives a ten year old car.

Its owner, dammit, its!!

I agree, OP. I am sure you can find counter examples anywhere, but not all places tend to have the same values.

Other ways of defining groups of people come up with pockets of people with different values too. I changed work sector recently and as part of my job I've sent out job offer letters so I know exactly how much many of my new colleagues are paid. I am absolutely blown away by the level of intelligence, skill and commitment they bring to the work, and what generally excellent subtle well-rounded people they are, given how little they earn. In my last job their salary was considered entry- level peanuts and I very, very rarely met anyone at any level with the amount of subtlety and intelligence that is considered standard in this organisation. I suppose it was always naive to think that being clever and trying your best woudl make you rich - I think it's really loving money that mainly makes you rich (if you're lucky - some people may love money but still never get there)

I utterly utterly cringe when people talk about their high earnings / house price increase / “we appear to be incredibly richer than yau”

I don't live in an area where people do this.

I'd like to add that Range-rovers aren't posh, some of our roughest council estates around have lot a shiny (black) ones. Finance is available to almost everyone!

Yes, that definitely seems to be my experience in London - we are trying to find a new home and am desperately looking for an area with good secondaries that isn't like that but is still fun. I've given up and don't believe it exists. I have no idea why people are that money-obsessed but they seem to be especially when it comes to cloning everything.

No idea whether that was always the case in London but it seems to have become really widespread. Perhaps it's also because unless you work in an industry that pays lots of money in which people work to earn big bucks you can't afford to live in London anymore. It's sad.

And I dont even mind talking about people's jobs - I find it fascinating to hear about what people do all day but these people dont talk about their jobs, just their bonuses or perks or whatever. They go to amazing places but say super banal things about them. Frankly, it's boring so so very boring.

I would like to put together a list of nice places in London where people are not like that. Unfortunately, most people we know who aren't like that have long left the city as they couldn't afford it.

Thankfully I’m not friends with people like this. How bloody tedious. Agree with pp that you can’t tell how wealthy somebody is from their car: it doesn’t mean anything anymore (unless it’s a Bentley or similar!) similar with clothes - truly wealthy people don’t feel any need to talk about how much their clothes cost or wear heavily branded stuff.