To think only some areas are full of money obsessed people?

[Sellersremorse8]

Maybe an odd one?!

We’re moving soon and I said to DH “I’m looking forward to moving somewhere where people don’t talk about money all the time - how much x property sold for, how much x earns, how much x costs.”

DH said “Everywhere is like that! Money is status. People like to show off.”

I said the area we’re in now (“up-and-come” london) wasn’t like that before it became so pricey (we’ve been here a very, very long time). That’s because, I said, people didn’t get their self-worth from their earnings when it wasn’t such a wealthy place. DH thinks I’m romanticising it.

AIBU to think that in some places people don’t talk about money constantly?! Or does everyone, everywhere?

I live in a town in Derbyshire and money is not really a talking point. One of my best friends lives in a commuter belt village and it is the opposite amongst her social circle.

Where we are, people don't talk about salaries, how much everything costs. But I expect you will always find some people like that. Most people gravitate towards people who share their values

I live in London and cant say I’ve noticed it at all and have friends across a range of salaries.

As I never need to drive anywhere nobody see’s my car. And its London, nobody talks to anyone anyway!

I can’t think I’ve ever discussed money socially. It’s vulgar and most people would change the subject, surely?
Yes we talk about property prices with children in the context of buying but most discussions around money are, at best, rather vulgar.

My family living in London and Surrey have it a lot - competitiveness at the school gate. I’m in the West Country and haven’t a clue what my friends earn. Money just isn’t a subject. A good friend bought a new (2 year old) car recently and is nice and it’s black... no idea re cost. So I think it is an area thing, although an ex friend used to go on about her brand new iPhone and how much it cost etc but she really stood out in the group as different.

YANBU. Different areas are definitely more flash/gin and jags type places- this means they attract those types. Certain areas of Bucks and Surrey spring to mind.

DH and I are moving out of London soon to a cathedral city and just hope it’s a bit more low key and understated! But I think, hopefully, you can find your “crowd” anywhere. Fingers crossed...

I've managed to reach my 50s without ever having a conversation where people brag about how much they earn, how expensive their house is, what labels they wear, what car they drive etc.

I've lived all over the US, UK and a couple of other countries.

I've lived in cities, large towns, small towns, rural.

I've been well off, average, poverty stricken.

I'm not saying it doesn't happen but I do wonder why I've never experienced it.

It's not like that where I live, although, my car is shit and covered in scratches so maybe it filters out all the money obsessed knobheads

Never heard anyone admit how much they earn, ever! It's like a taboo. No one talks about house prices or cars either, or designer labels. Perhaps in the context of looking for a house to buy, but not otherwise. North West, where a household income of £30,000 is enough to live comfortably.

Where we live people dont automatically talk about the money, although shock horror at the thought that anyone would be getting 30hrs free childcare.

However, they all know what/where the right thing to buy everything is - so that becomes the conversation from the right deli to buy this and that, the lovely little shoe store they found for their kids, the right little hotel with a pool for a weekend away with the kids.

I find that tiring - in part, because I can never remember what/where am meant to be buying but also because they seem very intense in making sure what they get is just right. No idea why.

Surely, if you have a lot of money then you might actually try and live a more interesting life. As it is they mainly seem to live exactly the same life as everyone else but with more expensive brands. And therefore there is little to talk about as they mainly dont have all that many hobbies ( I am not sure whether tennis, skiing or whatever is a hobby in this context, just a cliche) or do anything out of the ordinary or think about anything.

I agree with you. When I lived just outside London people talked about money A LOT. How much they earned, what their house was worth, etc. Now I live in NW England I have no idea how much those things are for my friends. I much prefer living here - it feels like quality of life is more valued.

I live in Surrey and was waiting for my county to come up .

Some of us have lived here for years. I grew up here. My friends and I love each other because we have had that bond since school. It's wholly irrelevant what we have materially.

The minute though my SIL comes down from Newcastle.. oh wow. Suddenly I am made painfully aware of my own house price, the fact we drive a [ so-called premium brand car ], the so-called "famous" parents that made a similar choice of my DCs school...

It's all a matter of context for me. I live here, I don't talk about "it" because this is my life! It's other people who obsess about trying to point out how moneyed things are.

I almost never talk to friends how much x property sold for, how much x earns, how much x costs.

Maybe very occasionally we might comment on how ridiculously over priced a house for sale in the village seems to be. Or if someone compliments something I am wearing I might tell then it cost £5 from ebay/charity shop. But that's it. And I've never ever discussed how much people earn.

Live in affluent, expensive, south oxfordshire village.

Do other people really talk about this a lot?

I would like to put together a list of nice places in London where people are not like that. Unfortunately, most people we know who aren't like that have long left the city as they couldn't afford it.

I am starting to wonder exactly this!

Yeah I don't live somewhere like this. I never have conversations about money. But I do think there are areas where this is the most important thing to people.

Also I left London because I couldn't afford to buy a house. We both earn a good wage.

You only have to look at the recent thread about earning goals. It didn't take long for a group of very high earners to start talking about their huge pensions and hitting the lifetime maximum contributions and comparing corporate packages. Lots of them admitted sacrificing everything early in life for these huge salaries like it's the be all and end all and everyone should aspire to that.
That's why wealthy areas tend to be full of people taking about money and house prices because that's what a lot of them spend their lives thinking about.

I live somewhere that lots of Londoners are coming to for more quality of life. We have new neighbours and while they have a lot of the outward trappings of wealth (matching Audis, pedigree pets etc) I wouldn't know what they earn or even how much their house cost. It's fascinating me, how do these conversations go?!

I tend to find this kind of attitude in the SE, not exactly explicit about how much people earn etc, that wouldn't be discussed, but having the right postcode, the right car, the right school, the right supermarket, wearing the right brands, going on the right holidays, eating in the right restaurants. Most of my friends /family are absolutely not doing it consciously, it's just tied up in their lives and social circles. We left London 15 years ago, now live in a village and there's a complete mix of people. There will always be some people obsessed with money, but the majority just live within their means and rub alongside each other as part of the village community. And actually, especially where I live, there is less choice available in people's lives (eg there is only 1 state secondary school in the area), so less ability to compare.

I don't have neighbours .. 🌸

We live in an inner London borough and I don't recognise this at all. It's a really diverse area, so there are £1.5million homeowners rubbing shoulders with parents entitled to free school meals at the school gate. I cannot imagine money chat in these circumstances.

The only thing commonly said is that house prices are ridiculous. There has been a significant exodus of parents seeking bigger homes out of the area (it preceeds covid) and school rolls are dropping so that gets mentioned.

Maybe us being nurses and using state schools means we don't get subjected to this, as people who would discuss it can dismiss us from the outset. Good!

I live in the north east of england in one of the so called most deprived areas of england ,i dont feel in any way deprived ,i have a lovely little flat which i dont own and dont want to own im not in debt im not starving ,when i look out of my windows i see loads of beautifull blue sky and white fluffy clouds and bright sunshine , i dont own a car ,cant even drive ! Half my family are southerners and half are northerners ,the southerners are quite nice for southerners but eventually in their company the talk always ends up on the subject of money ,this doesnt happen too much with my northerners ,some one on here said the less you have the more you talk about it ,noooooo ,you cant talk about what you dont have and are not likely to ever have ,people talk about what they are interested in and they talk about these things with people they think are interested in the same as them ,me ? Ive just read anna karenina and im gonna read an edith wharton next ,how about you ?

I find it funny how people insert the value of their home into a conversation. The way the daily Mail always have to mention how much the house was worth when they write a piece about anything. These days you can look up most places on zoopla and find it all out yourself anyway ( if your really that interested of course!)

When I lived and worked in a Surrey commuter town it was all anyone seemed to talk about, they were obsessed. New cars, house prices, second properties, private schools etc. When you’re struggling to cover your rent it’s pretty soul destroying.

Moved to a coastal town and it’s not half as bad. A bit more of a mixed bag of people.

I live in a rural part of Wales where rich and poor mix, most people don't judge you like this. There's a great sense of community here in this tiny town, it's a lovely but in the middle of nowhere.