To not want kids after 30?

[Pennyblossomx]

I suspect I'll get flamed for this. But I just don't want anymore kids after I turn 30. I'm 26 got an almost 3 month old and a 5 year old and I just can't see myself wanting a baby after 30. AIBU?

You’d only be unreasonable if you were telling other women what to do with their wombs before or after 30. Do what you want with your own body.

Thanks for sharing. My life has been enhanced by you sharing this information about your life with me.

What a strange question!

Of course you are not being unreasonable to say you don't want any kids over 30, the same way it wouldn't be unreasonable of me to say that having a kid at 21 is stupid.

I was too busy having a good time in my 20’s to even think about children. Having them in my 30’s was right for me. Each to their own.

Just want to make it clear im not trying to flame women who decide to have kids over 30. I get its my choice etc.

Why would you get flamed, dramatic much?! Honestly, no one really cares how many children you have or how old you are when you have them.

But you’ve already had children. What has turning 30 got to do with having anymore

I haven’t had children but will be 35 when my first is born. So I probably won’t want any after 40. Because my circumstances are different to yours.

Don’t really get your reason for posting this.

@Butchyrestingface

It is blatantly a goady thread and poorly disguised.

Without any context, I did think it was just a not-so-stealthy attempt to blast women over the clearly jurassic age of 30 who decide to have kids.

Yup, I suspect you're 100% correct there.

No one cares if you have all your children by 22.

No one cares if you have your first at 45.

No one cares.

@Pennyblossomx

Just want to make it clear im not trying to flame women who decide to have kids over 30. I get its my choice etc.

So why on earth are you asking this question?

You haven't given any context. How could anyone ever think you should be compelled to have children AT ALL, let alone past a certain age when you don't want any?

If you are genuine, you aren't giving people much to go on.

Ofcourse YANBU unless you are judging other people for having DC after 30 or trying to pressure someone else into another baby that they are not yet ready for. You're feelings may change as you get older though, I had my first at 25 and due my second 2 weeks before my 30th and I know mine have.

Massive round of applause for you that in your early 20s you found the partner you wanted to be with for the rest of your life, were financially stable enough and had secure accomodation that meant you felt it was the right time to have children.

I wouldn't have wanted any children under the age of 30.

@Pennyblossomx

Just want to make it clear im not trying to flame women who decide to have kids over 30. I get its my choice etc.

Could I then ask please @Pennyblossomx what is the significance to you of turning 30? What does that age mean for you regarding having children, seeing as you cited it in your original post?

Perhaps the OP has some pressure from people in her life to have another child and this thread is to help her gather her thoughts?

I think we all have an ideal age when we’d like kids and when we’d like to be done having those kids. Some women want kids early and some want them late. For some women, it doesn’t work out the way they planned either due to finding themselves unexpectedly pregnant earlier than expected or not meeting their partner or suffering with infertility.

It’s all personal choice and circumstance.

@imissthe90s

YANBU.

My friends are only just having babies while mine are grown up near enough, I couldn't think of anything worse than sleepless nights, baby sick and nappies now. I feel for those who have to deal with it in their 30s +.

I looked and felt young in my 30's. I'm late 40's with a teenager and it feels right for me. Only got the one though.

Everyone is different though so I can see why people have children young though. My parents were very young.

Then just don't have any more. You've already got two kids. I don't want more than 1 so I won't.

Why would you be flamed? You have 2 kids already which has been the average sized British family for decades. Who is expecting you to have more kids after 30? Is there a backstory?

It’s a personal one, I had my first at 27 (felt too young) and my last at 35 (felt too old). There’s no right time for anyone.

@LeaveMyDamnJam

Perhaps the OP has some pressure from people in her life to have another child and this thread is to help her gather her thoughts?

She's been asked to clarify that/add context.

Well you started young and have two children so you don’t need anymore.

It's fine, of course! We all have different goals and circumstances.

I would never have been ready to have kids under 30. I finally settled on my career at 25 after having lots of fun travelling and I didn't meet my husband until I was 27.

I can see the value of having kids younger if you're in a position and have the inclination to do it (neither applied to me!). I'm currently pregnant at 38 with my second and personally I have found this pregnancy much harder than my first at 34. But that might not be age... I've sort of assumed it is though.

Why would you get flamed for planning your family as you see fit? I wanted mine before 30 too, so I did.

What an odd post. Why would you be unreasonable to not want more kids for whatever reason?

@DamnShesaSexyChick

Well you started young and have two children so you don’t need anymore.

Hmm I agree about starting young but I'm not sure the "don't need" is a helpful comment. No one "needs" any children. We can however want as many as our circumstances allow.

While I have two DCs and it is often cited as a good number, it is not THE number.

OP could have half a dozen more if she so wished. The question really is, why does 30 represent a cut off point for her, a psychological hurdle?