To not want kids after 30?

[Pennyblossomx]

I suspect I'll get flamed for this. But I just don't want anymore kids after I turn 30. I'm 26 got an almost 3 month old and a 5 year old and I just can't see myself wanting a baby after 30. AIBU?

I wonder if the OP had no children, would she still be saying 'no children after 30'.????

A share of people don't have children until much later, not a choice, it just 'doesn't happen'. If we all said this we would wind up with no family completely.

Absolutely not. DD was born when I was 29 and 11 months. I was determined it would be done by 30. Sterilised and never regretted it

I was too busy in my 20's having fun to have kids - didn;t even meet my husband until I was 30

I am 51 with an 18, 16, 12 year old - how awful for us all

I am glad I did it that way - it worked well - but everyone is different

OP I am fairly sure you meant this as a wind up - which doesn;t demonstrate huge levels of maturity really

Hi guys. I’ll probably get flamed for this but I’m so glad I didn’t waste my 20s producing children and instead spent it studying, travelling, working, saving, partying, more studying, way more travelling, loads more working and saving, a shit ton more partying, studying for a doctorate, buying a house, partying, more partying, more travelling and partying. I don’t know why just the idea of having kids and not being able to do any of those things just freaks me out, you know? 💁🏼‍♀️

Who cares ?!

I didn’t have kids in my 20s but can’t really relate to those saying they spent the decade travelling the world and partying. I worked full-time mon-Friday with 4 weeks off a year. Met my now DH, we saved up hard to be able to put a deposit on a house and have a mortgage and have stability before starting a family. Enjoyed not having the responsibility of kids until later but do wonder how I could have had these amazing carefree years of endless travelling people talk about, mine seem so boring in comparison.

@1milk2sugars

I didn’t have kids in my 20s but can’t really relate to those saying they spent the decade travelling the world and partying. I worked full-time mon-Friday with 4 weeks off a year. Met my now DH, we saved up hard to be able to put a deposit on a house and have a mortgage and have stability before starting a family. Enjoyed not having the responsibility of kids until later but do wonder how I could have had these amazing carefree years of endless travelling people talk about, mine seem so boring in comparison.

Yours aren’t boring, you got a house! That’s awesome. I was exaggerating my level of travelling to make a point.

@1milk2sugars I also worked full time during my twenties and had 20 days' leave a year, but I remember it being a lot of fun as well!

First house, bought in a dodgy AF area for 75k in 2002.
First holiday with DH - last minute deal, £100 each in the Italian lakes.
Loads of festivals, loads of cheap nights out.

Good times - would have been bloody miserable if we'd started a family though.

1milk2sugars we did it by not getting a mortgage (felt the same about getting a mortgage as having kids ). Cheap rent, worked hard but played hard. So lots of parties, clubbing, drinking with friends and work colleagues, festivals, trips away, holidays and a 12 month trip round the world. Just the best time. We bought a house when we were early 30s and had satiated the wanderlust a bit.

@alaiahagsv

Such a weird and pointless post.

Not entirely pointless from the OP's perspective when we're at 300 posts and they don't even need to come back to reply and stir the pot etc

The AIBU crowd seem to love these frothing sessions, the OP just needed to light the blue touch paper and stand back..

Your body. Your life. Your choice

two kids enough anyway

@GrumpyHoonMain, I didn't have the money to travel as I would have liked to. If you really want to know, in my 20s I had to use my income from my shitty part-time job to take care of my youngest sibling, because one parent was dying and the other fucked off. It's not relevant anyway in terms of travel, as it's still not my top priority. It's not for everyone.

As it happens, everything that most 'I just had to wait until x, y and z was sorted before having children' people say on these type of threads happened for us regardless after having children. We got a mortgage after our first, I bought my near-new car outright (something I couldn't have dreamed about 5 years ago) and I have savings in the bank. As far as I'm concerned, I'm reaping the rewards of life and have children, it's win-win for me. My life up to now wouldn't have suited everyone but I wouldn't want any 'I lived so hard in my 20s' person feeling sorry for me. You do you, as they say.

This post made me laugh a little, not at you or anything, just I said the exact same thing at 30. I had my first at 23 and second at 30. Fast forward 10 years and at 40 I had my third and am currently pregnant with my fourth at 42!!! 😅.
My point is, absolutely your choice and nothing wrong with it at all. You can also change your mind later if you fancy more and are blessed like me and can have them 😁 x

What a strange post. Personally I wanted to enjoy my 20's which I did thoroughly with no responsibilities in addition to bedding down my career which has served me really well. I absolutely did not want a baby in my 20's so I had them in my 30's - each to their own

I’d say having kids pre30 is weird.

Live your life whilst you can.

I dont think OP is showing off. A lot of ppl are talking negatively about her which I dont think it's fair.
Then again ppl on mumsnet are like this anyway.
OP, I am in your situation as well. I have 3 kids and I'm 25 and there is no way am I having anymore after I hit 30. I'm bloody exhausted!
There are down and upsides of having kids young or old but I think it's important to remind some mothers here that there are many advantages of having kids young. Naturally fitter, can run around their kids, help out with future grandkids etc.
Some women also have chosen to have kids after doing their undergraduate and postgraduate degrees. Like myself.
Of course getting into the property ladder is harder but once the youngest child hits 3, there isnt much stopping parents out there from working and saving to get their dream careers and jobs.
I have noticed that women on mumsnet talk about careers and all but in the end, when we all pass away, the main thing we think about is our loved ones. NOT our careers, as we are all disposable and easily replaced.
Rant over

@Doomsdayiscoming

I’d say having kids pre30 is weird.

Live your life whilst you can.

Weird? Not even remotely

@Doomsdayiscoming

I’d say having kids pre30 is weird.

Live your life whilst you can.

Weird in what way? To those saying they wanted to "enjoy their 20s" why have kids at all it life was more enjoyable without them?

Yanbu op , I had my first 2 children at 21 and 23 then after an almost 11 year gap had my 3rd child and I can honestly say I found it much tougher I have less energy compared to my early 20s

@Doomsdayiscoming

I’d say having kids pre30 is weird.

Live your life whilst you can.

I lived my life fine thanks, having a child in my 20s. We all want different things from life.

I had my first at 18 and am now 31 due with my second.

Happily married, own home, hubby earns well so i don't have to work etc. I certainly struggled as a teen mother although I wouldn't change it.

My point is everyone's different, some have babies earlier, later or stagger them throughout the years like me.

Without sounding harsh, no one gives a flying fuck op.

@Jackie7527

I dont think OP is showing off. A lot of ppl are talking negatively about her which I dont think it's fair. Then again ppl on mumsnet are like this anyway. OP, I am in your situation as well. I have 3 kids and I'm 25 and there is no way am I having anymore after I hit 30. I'm bloody exhausted! There are down and upsides of having kids young or old but I think it's important to remind some mothers here that there are many advantages of having kids young. Naturally fitter, can run around their kids, help out with future grandkids etc. Some women also have chosen to have kids after doing their undergraduate and postgraduate degrees. Like myself. Of course getting into the property ladder is harder but once the youngest child hits 3, there isnt much stopping parents out there from working and saving to get their dream careers and jobs. I have noticed that women on mumsnet talk about careers and all but in the end, when we all pass away, the main thing we think about is our loved ones. NOT our careers, as we are all disposable and easily replaced. Rant over

Why do people say ‘rant over’?

We’re you ‘ranting’ about having three kids by 25?

I’m in my 30s and am extremely fit and not tired, while looking after my baby. People don’t suddenly become elderly and infirm at 30, FYI.

Why’re*

@GrumpyHoonMain

* That simply isn't what every wants though. My options of doing all the 'typical 20s' stuff was pretty much not accessible to me due to many reasons. Travelling, as I said above, isn't something that appeals to me unless done very nicely, and most people don't have the income straight out of uni regardless*

What strange logic. You didn’t have enough money to travel so had kids instead.

You're deliberately misreading her post

She's absolutely right. Not everyone has the chance or wants to party and travel so starting a family suits them

I had one at 17 so I didn't get to do all that. I chose to have another a few years later as a result. It suits me.

You had your first at twenty one, I wouldn't want to spend more than a decade having babies either! I didn't want babies before 30, nor do most of the people I know. Plenty of time to establish career, marriage, buy a house, travel etc first. Each to their own surely?