I would never want to be with a man who had used a prostitute

[ATieLikeRichardGere]

I hope I haven’t unwittingly ever been. When I know some friends of friends who have on stag dos etc. I find it really hard to reconcile with the fact that they then have girlfriends, wives, children. I can forgive people a lot of things, and I sort of believe that everything should be forgivable, but for some reason my visceral reaction to this is very extreme. I feel like I can more easily find sympathy for a terrorist, which probably isn’t rational, but I just feel like this is something I can’t accept. It’s so upsetting.

I hope every women that has written on this thread is following with real life action for example not buying from companies that are involved in Uyghurs slave labour and human trafficing : www.aspi.org.au/report/uyghurs-sale
www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-china-55794071

Otherwise you're just hypocrites.

In all honesty any man that is over invested in his sex drive wouldn’t do it for me.
I want a man to get turned on by me or other specific women ( the fact he once fancied his ex for example).
Men that prioritise sex over relationships are a big turn off be it serial daters, cheaters or using prostitutes.

Do you have a source for this claim?

As I understand it, the amount outstanding under arrangements that the CMS are responsible for is less than 10% of the figure that you have mentioned

Well it seems 2 billion was just written off, so it is lower now. www.mirror.co.uk/news/politics/2-billion-unpaid-children-support-23415081

But yes, it was 4. www.thesun.co.uk/news/3191235/single-parents-owed-4-billion-in-child-maintenance-due-to-official-blunders-and-3bn-of-it-is-unlikely-to-ever-be-recovered/

@GeorgiaMelissa

I hope every women that has written on this thread is following with real life action for example not buying from companies that are involved in Uyghurs slave labour and human trafficing : www.aspi.org.au/report/uyghurs-sale www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-china-55794071

Otherwise you're just hypocrites.

I'm sorry, are you trying to suggest that women on this thread are the reason men rape and abuse women? Have a fucking word with yourself.

Wouldn't bother me , and having been to Amsterdam the ladies and men in the red light area seem to love their jobs

Well, as long as they look happy, we can yet again pretend there’s no problem, right?!

www.nzherald.co.nz/world/appalling-truth-about-amsterdams-red-light-district/A4RMWQUM5RWIAY6RNDHKRWJAQ4/

@GeorgiaMelissa

I hope every women that has written on this thread is following with real life action for example not buying from companies that are involved in Uyghurs slave labour and human trafficing : www.aspi.org.au/report/uyghurs-sale www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-china-55794071

Otherwise you're just hypocrites.

There are hardly any large companies that don't use forced/slave labour or have extremely shit working conditions. Sadly, a boycott from a few thousand people does next to fuck all to their profits, which is all they care about. Loads of people have been boycotting nestle for years, they don't care.

@BrumBoo
How did you reach that conclusion? I only said that majority of people are happy to say that they don't agree with something but they rarely follow with real life action to support their beliefs. Some women went as far to say that man cannot know if the woman doing sex work is doing that voluntary and I agree, but I also wanted to show that there are many things is this world which aren't ethical and you don't know either ( or you're happy to put your beliefs on one side for a pair of new cheap shoes). I wish there was no trafficking and the women working in sex trade were there because they wanted to but vilifying every man who ever chose to pay for sex is wrong.

YANBU. I also wouldn't want anyone who watched porn all the Time. Very occasionally, together, is fine but my friend was with someone once who watched it literally every day. Yuk

@ImAlrightThanx
But that's what I mean! Many people are aware and they don't care. I bet every single woman on this thread owns clothes from company profiting from slave labour, but guess what, they don't give a shi*t. Yet, they're happy to call man disgusting because they've paid for sex and that's exploitation.

How would you know?. They don't get branded on the way out.

YANBU.

There's a four letter word that begins with r when you coerce someone into sex they don't actually want. Including when men coerce women into sex by means of paying them. I wouldn't date any form of rapist.

@Flowers24

But they are choosing to do the job , they could do something else? Rape is a forced attack

Are they?

Didn't sound like it from some of the UK punting reviews I read.

Oh and rape is not necessarily a forced attack - I know a lot of women who've been raped in circumstances that were not quite a forced attack .. but the men knew they were pushing, cajoling, pressuring, nagging, wearing down resistance over and over, guilting etc into sex they didn't really want.

There's also lots of grooming that results in sexual contact and sex that the recipient is not qualified to give consent to ... That's not s forced attack but is still rape.

Yet, they're happy to call man disgusting because they've paid for sex and that's exploitation.

No, it's sexual abuse. They are abusing people, mainly young women, for their sexual needs.

You're whatabouttery doesn't change the facts that it's men who abuse and exploit. Don't try and put that on the women of this thread as if we directly partake in the actions of violent and perverse men.

If sex workers actually wanted to sleep with these men they'd do it without the financial coercion. They're only sleeping with these men because there's a price. In my eyes, coercing anyone into rape is not a consensual act

*into sex, not into rape

(the women didnt really want, obviously).

In some of those cases, obstacles like locked doors were used too. Like he didn't hold her down forcibly and rape her but he wouldn't give her the key to unlock the door and exit, and spend all night pressuring he'd and escalating towards sex over and over until he got it.

@MarshmallowAra

Oh and rape is not necessarily a forced attack - I know a lot of women who've been raped in circumstances that were not quite a forced attack .. but the men knew they were pushing, cajoling, pressuring, nagging, wearing down resistance over and over, guilting etc into sex they didn't really want.

There's also lots of grooming that results in sexual contact and sex that the recipient is not qualified to give consent to ... That's not s forced attack but is still rape.

Indeed.

I was watching Leaving Neverland yesterday about the two men who were sexually abused my Michael Jackson as boys. They said they never felt unsafe during the sexual acts, it felt like a loving connection. One of them was 7 - so not a forced attack but all part of the grooming stage

Would bother me, but in a previous life I have been what is termed a "sex worker" on here.

Sorry, that was meant to say, wouldn't bother me

It ooozes desperation or pervertion. Its a No No for me but suppose context matters....Grotty brothel in the Uk planned... VS higher end place in say amsterdam on a stag absolutly pissed being egged on by 'mates'

@BrumBoo
Let me enlighten you, women also pay for sex, but I forgot that on mumsnet man are the root of all evil. Man also happen to be sex workers, but it doesn't fit your narrative, does it?

[quote GeorgiaMelissa]@BrumBoo
Let me enlighten you, women also pay for sex, but I forgot that on mumsnet man are the root of all evil. Man also happen to be sex workers, but it doesn't fit your narrative, does it?[/quote]
The number of Female sex workers far outweigh the number of male sex workers. And when you look at how 98% of sexual predators are men, it puts a very different spin on it.

Men like that (strip Clubs etc) aren't my type, but I'm not really that hard line about it. Back in the 90s going to strip clubs was normal, and plenty of normal blokes went along. As my DH said though, only the creepy pervs actually wanted a lap dance. In countries like Germany prostitiution is completely legal and they have mandatory health checks, pay taxes etc. That changes it a bit for me.

Predictably someone popped up to say sex work is just like any other job because every employee sells their body and labour for money....please, shifting boxes in a warehouse is not the same as having a penis put in your bottom, flipping burgers is not the same as being exposed to STIs, 45 hours a week on the laptop is not the same as having a stranger you are not attracted to cum on you, delivering a pizza is not the same as risking pregnancy.

Sex work IS different. Do not compare it to other employment, because you absolutely know it not! Eg. I used to work in care and so much PPE and risk assessment was needed just to change conveens due to the risk of fluid transmission...do sex workers get to wear full PPE and background check clients? No...so it is not just like any ther labour exchange.