AIBU to be annoyed when being told everyone needs to self care?😡

[GloomyWaters]

Been asked today...'So, what do you do for selfcare?"........ha ha ha!!!!! I dont have the flipping time!!!! "Well you need to make the time, everyone needs to have some selfcare"
ANNOYED.......AIBU???

Elite sporting twice a week? Thought elite sporting was at least 6 times per week 🙄

@LaurieFairyCake

Yes, asking about self care is a vitally important question

Do you know how many people I see sliding or have slid into depression and burnout???

Almost EVERYONE over the last year (therapist)

And there is ALWAYS something you can do - you get allocated the same 24 hours in the day as everyone else

If you think there is NOTHING you can do it might mean you're gripping on with your last fingernail as you're now not able to see a way out 🤷‍♀️

So.... cleaning less/buying ready meals/allocating chores/batch cooking/sharing lifts
And a gazillion other tiny things make a difference when there is very little time

Even taking 10 minutes to meditate/listen to a podcast is a good start as you are then saying to yourself out loud that you are doing this- acknowledging that this time is for you is a really important part of it

You have to value yourself, no other fucker is going to do it

It's really 'do self care' or end up crying at nothing, completely overwhelmed and unable to stop your thoughts racing during the night...

This ALL of this. I used to work with the partners of people with bad disabilities. I knew the ones who were going to not manage because they would tell me how hard things were and ask for suggestions but everthing i suggested was met with "yes but" Examples like "he shouts at me and I have to stand and take it" me"so walk away"
her "yes but"

This is not a criticism and yes its easy when you are on the outside but EVERYBODY needs me time. Its not just the fact of having the time its acknowledging that you are entitled to it...as entitled as everyone else. Everybody's "me time" is different, everybody gets mental refeshment from different things but everybody needs something.

Sheesh. Any excuse to whinge about something......

Sounds like your self care for the day was whinging about being a martyr on Mumsnet for 10 mins!

If this comment annoyed you so much you needed to spend 10 minutes checking in with the internet looking for people to validate your annoyance... then, yes, I think self-care would be great. Self-care doesn't have to be drinking a glass of wine in the bath with a face mask on or whatever springs to mind, it's personal to you, doing something (or maybe even nothing) that you enjoy, something that makes you feel good.

Don’t understand op...surely the person saying this was looking after you by saying this!

It's a bit of a daft question, particularly when asked of someone juggling so much.

Just laugh at them and say you get up in the morning, shower regularly and manage to get through the day. At the moment, that's more than enough.

YANBU, it’s just another thing on a to do list for me which can actually make it even more stressful!

Make time for self care now or make time for illness later. Trust me.

Self-care is a phrase that I use all the time in the counselling room. Of course you have time for self-care else how do you shower, eat or go to the toilet. Do you honestly not do anything at all that gives you pleasure? Read a few pages of a book? Listen to a song on the radio? Because if there is absolutely nothing that you do for yourself just because you want to then I would be very concerned about your mental well-being. At the least it will lead to bitterness and resentment, possibly turning into long term depression.

My self care is not having a mobile.

4 months ago I would have said YANBU, I have a jon, house to run and 2 kids so I know exactly what you mean.... however in January I was diagnosed with Cancer and it's been a real eye opener for me. Take time out, don't let rushing about and stress be your downfall. I am saying this in hindsight, make time for yourself.....no one else will and you will just keep giving and giving until you are empty xx

Self care is a cringe phase but a) who looks after elderly parents the other 5 days, can you get them to help for more? B) is your child doing elite sport more than twice a week, as this does not seem a lot? Is it that you drive them twice a week or they just attend twice a week? Can they get public transport or lift share? My niece trains for gymnastics 4x a week and my sister only actually takes her once as she shares with another two parents. C) when your child is doing the sport can you take a book, go to a cafe or pub, FaceTime a friend, do an online course, watch a Netflix show? This is ‘self care’

YANBU to feel annoyed by someone assuming you should have the time for self care, as you obviously spend a lot of time caring for others and your commitments. However, we do live in a selfish society now days, with a lot of spare time on our hands compared to previous generations, and I don’t think many people can relate to your selfless existence. Self care blah blah is a huge wellness trend being pushed by health and beauty companies so this is where people are making the assumption that ‘everyone does it’. However... based on how much you do, it wouldn’t hurt to make some time for yourself once in a while. Its good and healthy to take a break and recharge. Xx

Whats self care?? No time !

My doctor and counsellor both told me to make time for self care when I was totally overwhelmed with various massive family responsibilities last year including a bereavement and an attempted suicide. They both said if I don’t make time for myself then soon I’ll be no good to help anyone. It really hit home.

Flowers24
Whats self care?? No time !

Always time.

Self-care please! The world won't end without you. Do what's best for you.

I remember when I was with exh being annoyed about this. I had small children and a husband that didn’t help. I was at the drs with one thing and another and they said “you need to rest”. How can I rest? I thought. Turns out it was a DH problem, in the age old MN phrase.

I get to rest and self care now, although with a demanding full time + job and two dc, as a single parent, it can be tricky!

I did the ironing today whilst watching itv hub, all by myself, does that count as self care 😂

For me self care is as simple as cleanse, tone and moisturise my face each day and I feel great after it. Doesn't have to be alot just 5 mins. It all depends on what YOU feel is self care. If thats the difference between brushing your hair with a brush or your fngers before you leave the house then so be it.

Thought “self care” was incognito for masterbating. Thread therefore wasnt that juicy

Yabu to be irritated that someone thought about your needs and asked you a caring question.

You come across as a complete martyr. No one asks me what I do for self-care because I don't talk about my commitments or tell people I am busy.

I do lots of self-care which takes no time at all, make up, hand cream, cutting and colouring my own hair, going swimming.

My sister constantly moans about not having time to care for herself.
She is a crazy iron person, irons socks, my BIL's overalls for work ( in an industrial plant) gets up early to bake quinoa muffins for him to take to work ( which I am sure get binned in favour of a bacon buttie from the canteen) she cleans for her church, spends hours posting bible literature through letter boxes in her neighbourhood.
We all have time for self care.

Just a few thoughts and ideas that might help.

My life can be crazy, job, volunteering, 2 children, way to many fingers in too many pies,

I have always been a bit rubbish and giving myself time to do things, I have lots of unfinished projects around the house due to this.

I now am having an hour a week of counselling as it has had an impact.

I don't consider exercise self care, its a job!

What I have done is during some of my children's clubs I used to work whilst waiting for them, I now either read a book, magazine, or watch a tv programme on my ipad. It was something I really missed when the clubs weren't running!