Y3 top performing child doing at leat an hour extra work set my parent after school Aibu to be surprised/pissed off?

[Starzinhereyes]

Dd has a nice little friend who by all accounts is away ahead of her classmates. This child is always chosen for play parts, was constantly praised on zoom 😬& is just known as the classes naturally talented kids.... However the child does numerous workbooks, twinkl worksheets & parents extend every bit of learning... The mum (V wealthy sahm) freely talks about extending the child... Aibu to think there is no need for the mother to spend an extra hour a day giving the child extension work?

It's none of your business.

Sweet Jesus, an hour a day of some Twimkl worksheets? Hardly swotting for MENSA is it?
A: none of your business.
B: good for them.
C: see A

As parents we have to do what's best and what works for our individual children. This mum is doing just that for her child. As parents we have to make our own children our priority, what others do is insignificant.

Would you say the same if a parent nurtured their child's sporting talent by taking them to sporting clubs? What about parents supporting their child's talents in music or drama? Would you be pissed off if a child who is interested in learning goes to museums and family friendly educational events?

It sounds more like you're annoyed that this bright child is flourishing and has a parent who values their child's academic achievement.

Lots of parents think their child is bright & want extra work to push them on. As a teacher I can on the odd occasion see the benefit in this, but rarely. However, if the child genuinely enjoys extra work, I can’t see the harm in that.

Starzinhereyes

your posting history shows you really have issues with people who achieve more or are more wealthy than you!

May i suggest that you retrain, and join a better paid career maybe? If you are genuine, being bitter about others is not helping you, and is really damaging for your own kids.

Your attitude should be to praise hard work that obviously pays for your friend, not tell your kids that life is not fair!

Why is this any concern for you? Why is it any of your business?

I thought lots of parents do extra work with their kids?

There are 2 types of clever children/people, those who are naturally academic and bright and then there’s those that work bloody hard to expand their knowledge by doing the extra work. I’m lucky my dd is in the first category so I haven’t had to do any extra work (as you can probably tell, I am not academic at all).

If kids enjoy learning then why not give them work to do?

Ha! OP not been back then? 🤣

I would have loved to have been that child.

As it was, I did what I could myself.

Btw... I’m the wealthy working mum who spent and entire weekend with my Y4 on a voluntary project for science week - the experiment, the trip to the pharmacy, teaching her to video edit her presentation... we both loved it.

But then, unlike the OP, I value education and my daughter found it fun and was very proud of her work.

I agree with mathanxiety.

I have a DC who is doing really well at school and really well in his extracurricular stuff. I don't think he is the brightest star in the school but one of the reasons he gets some of the best grades is because he works his socks off. He is very organised, hardworking and driven.

I think the problem is that parents who do this can sound as if they are boasting, both about their children and themselves as parents, without meaning to. Its one of many things that can make other parents feel inadequate. It can also be hard not to resent the parent who has loads of time to spend on extras. Large case of having to remember that everyone's circumstances are different. The Mother who is wealthy, stays at home and is able to spend considerable time on extra curricular education for their child, could still be having all sorts of problems, even though it sure as hell doesn't look that way. I am very guilty of resenting people like that and have to check myself. My kids are bright enough, but the second one especially doesn't like schoolwork. Like many parents I'm run off my feet, dont have time to do anything properly, feel as if I'm failing and parents who seem as if they are boasting are not a good thing.

I teach my dc after school and through the school holidays. If I don't I find she isn't mentally stimulated enough and plays up all afternoon.
She's gone from bottom of the class to the top according to her teacher so I intend to continue. Most other parents in my dd class also help their dc at home though so it's not so much of an issue where I am. I hope to help my dd continue to be top and I hope it helps her in the long term. She is getting a fantastic work ethic as well now as before she's struggle with doing homework now we have a routine she just gets in with it.

I agree there being two types of able dc too. Mine has to work hard so I feel like I'm helping her learn that sooner rather than later.
I don't think it should bother you OP

If she's a bright child to start with then yes, she probably does need to be extended, as it's rare that will happen in school. She sounds like a responsible parent doing what she feels is best for her child - since it's not harmful, it really isn't any of your business.

@KeyboardWorriers

Some very bright children genuinely love being extended. I did lots of workbooks and extra tuition as a child because I enjoyed it. My son is the same. He does some extra maths classes for the sheer pleasure of it.

I think you're right and don't think an hour extra is a great deal as long as the child is happy doing it. I would have thought most parents do some with their children, I did.

God - the difficulty of having a bright child!! Why is it that kids who are talented in sport or music or art can spend hours a week training, practising, rehearsing and everyone is in awe. Well of course they need to do that - they are so talented.

Swap to someone clever wanting/needing to extend their skills, indulging in their love of reading, or learning something a bit more complex and they are being badly treated, the parents are showing off, the kids aren't expanding their horizons.

Why can't clever kids be left alone. It would be nice if they could be treated in the same way as their sporting counterparts but I can't see that ever happening.

The question is perhaps why are you not providing extension activities in some form to build your child’s talents?

@Starzinhereyes

Dd has a nice little friend who by all accounts is away ahead of her classmates. This child is always chosen for play parts, was constantly praised on zoom 😬& is just known as the classes naturally talented kids.... However the child does numerous workbooks, twinkl worksheets & parents extend every bit of learning... The mum (V wealthy sahm) freely talks about extending the child... Aibu to think there is no need for the mother to spend an extra hour a day giving the child extension work?

You sound very sneery about it all. What is your problem?

@Happymum12345

Lots of parents think their child is bright & want extra work to push them on. As a teacher I can on the odd occasion see the benefit in this, but rarely. However, if the child genuinely enjoys extra work, I can’t see the harm in that.

when you see the difference in education between private and state, I disagree. I am not blaming the teachers who are given classes of 30+ kids, that's not my point, but there's a reason why kids in (most) private achieve a lot better than the others. They have more opportunities.

Parents who chose to stay home and help their children instead of going back to work to pay for private schools have made a perfectly valid choice and are doing exactly the right thing by being involved.

Most of us working full time still manage to be involved with schooling let's be honest.

If you can post on MN, watch crap on tv and so on, you could be spending time educating your kids instead...

Learning and schooling are two very separate entities.

I think it's a very first world thing for children to dislike education. She may love maths, english etc and find it enjoyable.

I'd say work more on your own child's interests than worrying about someone else's.

1. It is not really any of your business, but perhaps a good parenting example you may consider following?

2. The typos and grammar in your post suggest this is a new concept to you. 😆

You're pissed off about this? Really?!

You sound very bitter and overly invested. Lots of parents do stuff like this. You can too, if you want to... but it sounds like you don't want to 🤷‍♀️

I think that what the mum is doing is great!

Granted this wouldn’t be my choice to extending my child’s learning (I somehow don’t think any of mines would ever have enjoyed worksheets!). But the reality is that spending time talking, watching programs, whatever else you can think about to extend their knowledge is fantastic for them.
It’s not about the child being ahead. It’s about teaching them that they can enjoy learning and that it’s ok to know things that others don’t (or as my dcs would put it ‘being a nerd’).

My own dcs are now teenagers, nearly adults. Believe me, expanding their horizons and ensuring THEY believe learning is great has put them in the right place for life. Not just for their school results.

@Happymum12345, thé issue i had with giving extra worksheet etc... at home is that my dc would have been 3 or 4 years ahead rather than one. Teachers hated that enough (yes that was made very clear to me by a few of them - one telling me she just couldn’t cater for him and his questions....).

So my strategy was to extend their learning in any other subject rather than school work!

None of your business. YABU

You are being ridiculous and sound incredibly jealous. Would you be equally annoyed if said SAHM sat around the house twiddling her thumbs and let her DC just do ok or underperform in school? It's great that she is investing her time in her child.