Y3 top performing child doing at leat an hour extra work set my parent after school Aibu to be surprised/pissed off?

[Starzinhereyes]

Dd has a nice little friend who by all accounts is away ahead of her classmates. This child is always chosen for play parts, was constantly praised on zoom 😬& is just known as the classes naturally talented kids.... However the child does numerous workbooks, twinkl worksheets & parents extend every bit of learning... The mum (V wealthy sahm) freely talks about extending the child... Aibu to think there is no need for the mother to spend an extra hour a day giving the child extension work?

Surely you don't think what is taught in school ought to be the sum total of a child's education?

Some kids love learning and will enjoy doing extra.

My eldest (who was later diagnosed with ASD and ADHD) hated any extra learning. Even his allotted homework (which we insisted on) led to many tears, rages and ruined evenings. He had a maths tutor for a while and that was pretty disastrous.

My youngest however is happy to do some extra but only in the subjects she likes best. Fair enough.

It’s what happens at private school

Mine are state but I wish school would give them an hour’s homework every night. I

Up to the parents and child...I would not have issue with this...

My DD is 7 and behind at school, she has extra homework at home every night she hates it and finds it boring . I've had her latest school report and she is improving massively.

She often asks why do I have to do this work and the other children don't but we continue and hopefully she will get it .

Jangle some don't need it, homework re forces what had been taught.
If a child gets nouns or whatever they are learning they don't need an extra hour on top to go over it.

Each child needs a different approach. If my older dd had been forced to do an hour on what she already knew and understood it would have killed her natural love of learning.
Dd 2 however does need reinforced work to get it into her memory.

YABU. She isn't stopping you doing the same with your child.

I’m a poor student Mum with 3DC.

My eldest child, in Y8 is “gifted” in Science and Maths, I’m a science student so I do extra with her.

My middle child, 10, is all about reading and writing, so she gets plenty of books and spends time writing. She’s also a competitive gymnast and rugby player.

My youngest child is 5 and so far doesn’t like anything.

I’ll be damned if I don’t encourage my children’s academic interests and athletic talents.

Just crack on with your own kid and mind ya business, as my Aunt would say:

Would anyone say, 'my child is having whole class violin lessons and they are told to practice 10 minutes a day. Another child is being given private lessons and they practice an hour or two a day, and they get chosen for national orchestras and other opportunities. It's not fair that they do all this extra practice because it makes them better'.

At our friends state primary in North London one hour of extra work with a SAHM is the norm rather than the exception. The school is 'outstanding' and doesn't believe in homework as the parents are already doing it.
This contrasts with our village primary where no one did any additional work and we were deemed very pushy for doing extra work with our children.
If the parent and child are happy to do it, who is another parent to judge?

Your issue appears to be that by the child being ahead it makes your DC look worse by comparison.. There's a solution to that.

I'll just join the chorus of disbelief on here. I have a fully bilingual 3.5 year old who is most of the way through Songbirds and a third of the way through the Russian equivalent. Amazingly, that's because her dad and I sit down with her daily for five minutes to 30 minutes each to practice phonics and reading, and when she was younger the TV on offer was Alphablocks and Numberblocks rather than Paw Patrol. Neither of us SAH. (She also cycles pretty independently, and makes her own bed - want to guess how that came about?)

No there's "no need" but I have a bright child and I value education, so it makes sense for me to model that. I also broadly think that it'd be a good thing sending her to school with these skills confidently acquired.

I do find it weird that if you had a child that was v. good at football / drama people would expect you to take them to an additional club / training but with academic subjects you are ridiculed if you do extra practice...

Lets swap academics for something else, music, art, gymnastics, brownies.

Would you be bothered that a child had lessons playing the flute instead of just the recorder at school?

Or going on brownie/guide camps because mum is a leader?

Or drawing and painting outside school?

In case you hadn't already worked it out OP, YABU! 😅

I doubt OP will return. But her jealousy is very apparent in her post and it's sad really. Almost like a playground bully making fun of a child who tries to excel.

So the OP is miffed that some parents bother taking time with their children and she doesn't...

What a horrible thread. I hope you don't go bitching behind that family's back. Next it will be the family who bothers taking their kids to after school clubs, sports, hobbies.

And you wonder why parents normally shut up about anything they do privately, look what happens when they are honest about it.

Starzinhereyes

you should be grateful instead of being jealous. The higher the level of the class, the more your own child will benefit.

If your child was the brightest or most ahead academically, he will be pull down by the others who need to catch up and waste his time.

You want and hope to have him surrounded by children like that kid you are jealous of! The higher the level of the class, the better.

You should be wishing that more parents bother like that "wealthy SAHM" instead of resenting her.

You do realise that the family are probably wealthy because the parents had this attitude to learning as children? I bet she worked in a well- paid professional role before becoming an SAHM and met the child’s father rant university or work.

It is the parents' responsibility to educate, not the school's. You are being very silly if you think the school will do all the educating your child needs.

I do this with mine, always have done. They’re all in little advanced groups at school for doing so well in tests. I’m setting them up for the future, I want them to do as well as they possibly can. I’ve always taught them across the school holidays too, nothing too formal or scary but definitely educational visits and such.

Consistently high achieving children don’t get their by accident or through a lack of effort.

Well it’s obviously not detrimental to the child’s development, so as long as they are happy can’t see a problem. Different people do different things in their spare time, not really sure why you would be surprised/pissed off by it? Sounds more like you are envious.

I don't get why you're pissed off... it's none of your business. You sound jealous and bitter.

Rachel, some bright dc really don't need etxra work.

It shouldn't be prescriptive, each child is different.