to ask what things you could smugly say you had never done?.....but in other news....

[PyongyangKipperbang]

So I was smug that I had never put a pizza in the oven with the polystyrene tray still attached. I mean, what kind of fuckwit does that?!

In other news...... I am having sandwiches for dinner.....

I never panic searched for my house keys while late for work one morning only to find them in the door lock outside from when I let myself the prior afternoon...

In other news my neighbourhood is safer than I knew!

Obviously I’ve never got into a complete panic when trying to unlock the car in a car park and it wouldn’t work, because it was same model and unusual colour as mine, but someone else’s car...

I’m smug that I’ve never driven off with something forgotten on the roof of my car but I have managed to scratch the car on my wall both driving out and reversing in on separate occasions.

My teenager has never lost his house keys and only discovered this five minutes before leaving the house on the first day of term.

In other news, teenagers are capable of getting their school bag ready at the start of the holidays and putting their house keys in them so they don't lose them.

My dh has never not once, but twice, lost our passports, once in a cafe up the top of a mountain which we had to drive back up to get them! The other time he left them on the floor of the gents in a stall in a bag at the ferry and someone came running out with his bag as he left.
He was so lucky and if it's often brought up when my own misdemeanors are 'revisited'
Driving up and down steep mountain roads in a panic isn't a good idea.

I've never thrown an amazing smelling lush bath bomb that I was looking forward's to in the toilet instead of in the bath

Until very recently I could not believe that so many people apparently put the wrong fuel in a car. I mean, how hard is it to remember- even if you borrow or hire a car surely you ask and remember (write it down if you need to!). I could not imagine being so thick as to make this mistake. And anyway, isn't the nozzle a different shape for different fuels so you'd realise?

I was also feeling very smug that I had managed to drive and even park DH's (substantially bigger than mine) car so I could transport my bike to meet up with friends.

In other news... there is no magic different nozzle to prevent misfueling, it is very easy to do when distracted, and eye wateringly expensive to get someone to drain it when you realise before you even leave the petrol (or should that be diesel?) station.

This morning I definitely did not get in the car, start the car, then frantically search my jacket pockets for my car keys

I've also never laid in bed tapping my foot on the end of the bed and get up to investigate where that tapping sound was coming from, then get back in bed, resume tapping and getting up again to see where the noise was coming from again, maybe 5 times before realising.

Never happened

I have never

@CornishYarg

I have never

(I have never pressed post too quickly...)

I have never panicked that I have lost my handbag while out for the day and looked wildly round the nearby area. Or looked accusingly at the people at the next table. And then remembered that I put my purse and phone in DH's rucksack and left my handbag safely at home. Not me.

Obviously I’ve never got into a complete panic when trying to unlock the car in a car park and it wouldn’t work, because it was same model and unusual colour as mine, but someone else’s car...

Once spent a few minutes sat in my car with a friend trying to start it before my friend noticed that I don't normally have an air freshener on the dash and we realised my keys had just opened someone else's car and my car was actually parked right behind it, same colour and model